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Man Gets Prison Smuggling King Cobras In Potato Chip Canisters

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Cobras-in-Can-768... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Cobras-in-Can.jpg 914w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Man Gets Prison Smuggling King Cobras In Potato Chip Canisters:  A Los Angeles man has been sentenced to prison for smuggling highly venomous king cobras into the country inside potato chip canisters via the mail.  Now of course, health officials have always warned about eating snacks like potato chips, but geez – this really takes it all to a whole new level.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Irish-Woman.jpg 488w" sizes="(max-width: 293px) 100vw, 293px" />Irish Woman Legally Marries 300-Year-Old Ghost:  A 45-year-old woman from Co. Louth claims the lovemaking is just great with her 18th-century Haitian pirate ghost husband she met and married after she feeling his presence laying beside her in bed in 2014.  Yea, well not to be cynical, but that “presence” she felt next to her in bed sounds more like Bill Cosby than an 18th-century Haitian pirate.

 

 

Sushi Boom Fueling Tapeworm Infections:  Health officials say as eating raw fish is becoming more popular, gruesome tapeworm infections are becoming commonplace.  While sushi connoisseurs believe these attacks on eating sushi are noting but a raw deal, health officials claim to have everything on tape (worm).

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Catastrophic Volcanos Erupt More Often Than Previously Thought

Catastrophic Volcanos Erupt More Often Than Previously Thought:  New data shows that one-thousand gigaton volcanic super-eruptions may happen much more frequent than previously thought, with scientists discovering they could occur as often as every 5,000 years – with the next big one is due any time.  Gee, I never thought I’d say this, but Jim Bakker’s doomsday $500 “Bucket-O-Mac & Cheese” with the 25-year shelf life is suddenly starting to sound like a pretty good bargain after all.  I mean, its either that or break into the San Diego Zoo and try and eat up all their antelopes.

 

Study Finds Prehistoric Women Had Extremely Strong Arms:  Anthropologists say they have determined that prehistoric women had very strong arms on a thick bone structure – because of the extreme manual labor they were forced to perform on a daily basis.  Really?  Well then, all I can say is it’s kind of a shame that there were as yet no jars that women would have been able to have opened for themselves back in those days.  Guess they needed to be strong enough to fend off the Trumps and the Weinsteins of the day.

 

Facebook Asks Users to Upload Face Photos:  Soon, you may be forced to upload a clear photograph of your face onto Facebook to prove you aren’t a Russian bot.  Pro-Tip – don’t try fooling Facebook by uploading a photo of Donald Trump instead of your own.  The software won’t recognize it as human.

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The post Catastrophic Volcanos Erupt More Often Than Previously Thought appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Sen Graham Sees 70% Chance Trump Will Attack North Korea

Sen Graham Sees 70% Chance Trump Will Attack North Korea:  Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) has told the Atlantic that there is a 70% chance President Trump will attack Pyongyang if it conducts another nuclear test.  My first thought was, where exactly is Sen. Graham getting that 70% figure?  I mean, why not 72.64%?  And then it occurred to me, its because THIS President does NOT do fractions.

 

Republican Warns Reducing Carbon Emissions Will Kill All Plants:  Republican state Sen. Jerry Sonnenberg of Colorado argues that liberal environmental measures to reduce carbon emissions will kill off all plant life on Earth because “trees and plants use carbon dioxide to create oxygen.”  Excellent point – I mean, everyone knows there were no such thing as plants and trees and before we started burning all those fossil fuels in our cars, factories and power plants.

 

California Warns People to Limit Exposure to Cellphones:  Despite the fact that most scientists have dismissed any potential link between cellphone radio waves and cancer as utterly unproven and downright implausible – the California Department of Public Health (CDPH) a lawsuit has forced the state to issue a warning to residents to limit their exposure to cellphones whenever possible.  Gee, then I guess we can all thank our lucky stars that the core of the earth isn’t made of iron and nickel and constantly emitting a strong electromagnetic field all around us.

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The post Sen Graham Sees 70% Chance Trump Will Attack North Korea appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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LAPG Reinvestigating Natalie Wood’s Mysterious Death

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Natalile-Wood-768... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Natalile-Wood.jpg 780w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />LAPG Reinvestigating Natalie Wood’s Mysterious Death:  Los Angeles county sheriff’s investigators say they want to speak to 87-year-old actor Robert Wagner as a “person of interest,” in the case of the Natalie Wood death which reopened in 2011.  When reporters asked Christopher Walken – who was also present on the yacht that night – what he felt police needed to solve the case, Walken said that as far as he’s concerned, they “need more cowbell.”

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Brain-Eating-Amob... 660w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Deadly Amoeba Found in Louisiana Water:  A potentially deadly brain-eating amoeba was discovered in a water system that serves more than 12,500 people in Louisiana.  Scientists say they’re not too concerned, however, given that a “brain-eating amoeba” would quickly starve to death in a place like Louisiana.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Drives-Into-Cows.jpg 653w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Texting Woman Drives Into Herd of Cows:  A 21-year-old woman is recovering after she drove into a herd of cows in upstate New York while texting on her cellphone.  How stupid!  You can’t just assume cows will just mooo-ve out of the way.

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The post LAPG Reinvestigating Natalie Wood’s Mysterious Death appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Massive Storm Heading Toward Los Angeles Area

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Heavy-Rain-Storm-... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Heavy-Rain-Storm.... 800w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Massive Storm Heading Toward Los Angeles Area:  The National Weather Service is predicting a powerful rainstorm will hit the LA basin Monday and Tuesday, breaking an 11-month record drought.  The storm is expected to be so strong that some officials are urging people living in the outlying areas to consider skipping Monday and Tuesday and just moving on into Wednesday when the storm is expected to have already passed through the area.

 

Ocean Floor Sinking Under Water Weight From Melting Glaciers:  Scientists say so much extra water is being added into the world’s oceans from melting glaciers that the ocean floor is sinking underneath its increasing weight.  OK, but I guess first my question would be – exactly where is the ocean floor sinking to?  Personally, my concern is the ocean may be leaking out through the sea floor and then draining through another hole in the South Pole.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Clarksville-High-... 490w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Local Arkansas High School Arms Its Teachers:  The small Arkansas town of Clarksville has decided to give concealed weapons to 20 teachers and staff at its local high school.  Gee, and to think teachers used to scare the living crap out of us back when they were only carrying paddles.

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The post Massive Storm Heading Toward Los Angeles Area appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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Rare Skeleton of 3.6 Million-Year-Old Human Ancestor on Display

Rare Skeleton of 3.6 Million-Year-Old Human Ancestor on Display:  Researchers in South Africa have unveiled what they call “by far the most complete skeleton of a human ancestor older than 1.5 million years ever found.”  Who the hell cares about how old it is?  What I wanna know is – did it leave a will?

 

Mayor’s Wife Awarded $85,000 in Fall that Ruptured Breast Implants:  A jury awarded $85,000 to the wife of former San Diego Mayor Roger Hedgecock for ruptured silicone breast implants she suffered during a 2015 sidewalk fall.  The jury said in order to correctly adjudicate the case, they needed to get right down to “where the rubber meets the pavement.”

 

76th Anniversary of Pearl Harbor:  Was heading out the door this morning when my Donald Trump-loving neighbor yelled out to me “it’s December 7th, remember Pearl Harbor!” I yelled back “Pearl Harbor was before my time, but I do remember Pearl Bailey. That ought to count for something.”

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The post Rare Skeleton of 3.6 Million-Year-Old Human Ancestor on Display appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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