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Danica Patrick Jokes
22 Jokes
A goodie from our archives
June 2nd, 2009
Category: Sports

Danica Patrick recently told reporters that she would take steroids if she thought she wouldn't be caught. And that she's actually Manny Ramirez.
 

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Category: Sports

Danica Patrick was repeatedly bumped from the front, side and back at her first stockcar event. And that was before she even made it onto the track.

Sports Minute is edited by Steve Hofstetter

Category: Sports

Danica Patrick recently told reporters that she would take steroids if she thought she wouldn't be caught. And that she's actually Manny Ramirez.
 

Sports Minute is edited by Steve Hofstetter

Category: Sports

Get Your Motor Running

After a controversial ruling in Sunday's race, IndyCar Driver Helio Castroneves is stripped of his win.  When NASCAR fans heard that a driver was stripped they were disappointed to learn it wasn't Danica Patrick.

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Category: Sports

Danica Patrick said that the front of her car was good,but the rear wouldn't stay down.I fail to see a problem. 

Category: Sports

Danica Patrick is now on Team 7-ElevenConvenience store chain 7-Eleven announced a new sponsorship deal with American driver Danica Patrick. I'm on Team 7-Eleven myself: the Italian sub division.

Check out Chris Martin's new magazine, "Comedy Rag," on Flipboard:

http://flip.it/wpDW2

Category: Sports

Large-Size Casket Sales Increase:  Due to increases in obesity rates, casket makers are reporting huge growth in extra large caskets, calling it a dignified way for families of the obese to find closure.  No kidding!  How are they supposed to find closure if they can’t close the casket? 

 

Retailers to Open Early on Black Friday:  Many retailers, hoping to jump-start sales, have decided to open earlier than usual on Black Friday.  In related news, Fox News reports that “whites” are being excluded from many “Black Friday” sales. 

 

Danica Patrick and Husband Divorcing:  NASCAR star Danica Patrick and her husband, Paul Hospenthal, are calling it quits after seven years of marriage.  Guess she felt the marriage was going nowhere fast, just like her driving. 

 

Jury Awards $7.7 Million to Price is Right Model:  A jury awarded $7.7 million to a former model on the “Price is Right” after determining the show discriminated against her because of her pregnancy.  Over $7 Million.  Guess the price was right after all. 

The post Large-Size Casket Sales Increase appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Category: Entertainment

Megyn KellyMegyn Kelly Tells Fox Viewers Santa and Jesus are White:  In response to a Slate article discussing a potential makeover for Santa to be more diversity-friendly, Fox News host Megyn Kelly reassured Fox viewers that both Santa and Jesus are in fact white.  To further reinforce the point, Kelly then played the old Christmas standard “I’m Dreaming Up a White Jesus.”

 

Danica Patrick CMA'sDanica Patrick’s CMA Showgirl Look Draws Attention:  Danica Patrick’s racy “showgirl” look while cohosting the Country Music Awards with Trace Adkins is garnering strong reactions from racing fans online.  Now I have no idea how this will effect her racing career, but this is sure giving her lots of “exposure.”

 

Home Plate CollisionsMLB Votes to Ban Home Plate Collisions:  The Major League Baseball Rules Committee has voted to eliminate collisions at home plate by prohibiting catchers from blocking the plate and making runners slide into home plate.  Personally, I would have preferred that they got rid of the “infield fly rule” instead.  Who the hell wants flies in their infield?

 

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The post Megyn Kelly Tells Fox Viewers Santa and Jesus are White appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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