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May 17th marks International Day Against Homophobia, however it has caused outrage from within certain communities. Steps are being taking to put a halt to this day once and for all.
Every year millions of people celebrate International Day Against Homophobia. This year the Arachnophobic Alliance have decided to stand up to the gay community by declaring that the word ‘homophobia’ should be removed from the dictionary. They are claiming that to speak out in public against gay people is not showing signs of a phobia, it is just pure bullying. They believe that the word ‘phobia’ should be reserved for people with a fear of something dangerous, such as spiders, heights and running with scissors.
Peter Strongman of the Arachnophobic Alliance explained their stance in more detail: “We have nothing against gays, lesbians and ladyboys but we really think that they use the word ‘phobia’ willy-nilly. A phobia is a fear of something and I don’t believe that people who bully these people are actually scared of them, they are just nasty people. We are all scared of spiders and, as everyone knows, even the most harmless-looking daddy long legs can be extremely dangerous – there could be no other reason why women jump a mile when they see one. We think they should rename their day ‘International Day Against Homobullies’, that would be closer to the truth. They should just leave the phobia thing to those more experienced in being scared of stuff.”
Russian President, Vladimir Putin, one of the world’s most famous gay men, told us, “They don’t know what they are talking about. Normally when people shout abuse at me in the street it’s because they are scared of my pink spandex, hence the word ‘phobia’ is correct and should be allowed. I am really looking forward to the big day. The whole of Russia will be celebrating with me as rainbow flags fly all over Moscow.”
David Cameron, the UK Prime Minister and supporter of gay marriage, told The Daily Skid, “I didn’t even know there was an International Homophobia Day. Is that were people are allowed to point at gays and laugh? That doesn’t seem right at all. Yes, they should put a stop to this day once and for all. We are a responsible government and we can’t stand by and let our people be abused just because they bat for the other side. We won’t allow it. I say ban International Homophobia Day right now.”
We believe Mr Cameron was slightly confused. He is a thoroughly nice gentleman so we did explain the story to him afterwards.