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It was 22 Years Ago Today

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I have always been the funny guy. Class clown, office fool, family joker, village idiot…no wait a minute..I lived in a town, not a village.

It was a dare from Meredith, a co-worker that gave me the guts to try stand-up comedy. It was July 29th, 1991 at The Juke Box Café in Hauppauge, Long Island. Owned by WBAB DJ Bob Buchman. Talent Night was every Wednesday. Musicians, Magicians, Comedians, Jugglers, etc. Bring your talent for 15 minutes and win valuable prizes.

So I did it. I prepared 15 minutes, not knowing how ridiculous that amount of time is for a first time comedian. I had everyone from the office there to “support” me, or watch me crash and burn.

But I didn’t lay an egg. I killed. for 15 minutes. I even won 3rd place. My valuable prizes were a T-Shirt and a Bonnie Raitt cassette. But more importantly, that night I became a stand- up comedian.

I remember the drive home. Screaming in my car. “I am a comedian”. I should be on Letterman by September. I can quit this lousy job by Christmas. Of course it doesn’t work that way.

22 years later, I am still waiting for Dave to call and I am still working the day job.

I quit a bunch of times, but always came back to the stage. Having been at it on a fairly consistent basis since 2004, I am happy with the success I have had. No big famous moments or TV appearances, but I have won a few awards, opened for some high profile people (Louie Anderson, Bobby Collins, Bob Nelson, Uncle Floyd, Ted Alexandro, Joey Kola), accomplished a 90 minute one-man show and gained some respect in this business that is rarely treated with respect.

Looking back, I am happy I took the dare.

I have many people to thank for my comedy career. (I can never say career without chuckling.)

)Hats off to a bunch of folks. Thank you for your support and your belief in me.

Rick Morgan, John Ryerson, Gary Smith, Paul Anthony, Roger Paul, Donna Drake, Vince Dantona and George, Shawn Morrill, Chuck Weber, Keith Richard, Brian Cohen, Samantah Tetro, Mark Maningo, Mike Dillon, Tom Bellezza, Alan Streisfeld, Les Degen, John Santo, John Passadino, Goumba Johnny and all my comedian buddies.

This is starting to sound like a eulogy. I ain’t dead, or retiring.

Even if it doesn’t. I am having a blast.

The only time you fail is when you quit. 

Here’s to 22 more years of waiting for that phone to ring.

Hello ? Dave? is that you? - 928e

 

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Stevie GB

Stevie GB

The World's Funniest Accountant
Holbrook, Long Island New York

Following your dreams is a nightmare

250px-Freddy_KruegerI was watching an interview with Serena Williams. A documentary is coming out about The Williams sisters, the tennis pros. She said she never feels fully accomplished. She always feels like she has so much more to do. It sounds insane to think that she feels that way. Bob Dylan said “an artist is always in the state of becoming”. Like him or not, you have to admit Dylan has accomplished quite a bit, yet still feels like he hasn’t arrived. It made me realize why I sometimes feel unfulfilled.

I have a dream, just like anyone. It’s nice to have a dream of something bigger than yourself. I am not sure how to live without some goal in mind. The curse of having a dream is watching it start to come true. Whenever you have a little piece of your end goal come into fruition, it’s nearly impossible to resist the urge to go “all in.” Get an RV and just travel around broke and free.

I am not sure if I want to go for it, for fear that it may become that four letter word, “work.” My dream is making the rest of my life a nightmare. I can’t go a day without thinking about a future performance date or dates, or some new project. I get depressed if I don’t have enough dates booked. I have a fear that it may all come to an end.

People are supportive and tell me nice things like “wow you are doing great” or “you are on your way”. I don’t feel that way. I feel like I am going in circles. Two steps forward three steps back. I know I have to get off Long Island. I have exhausted my audience. As I get older it’s hard to think about travelling. I get anxious driving. I have night blindness and pee 75 times a day.

I can’t quit. Every time I think about quitting, something good happens. I like to
think it’s somebody up there keeping me going. Some divine intervention maybe.

It could be Freddy Krueger.

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Stevie GB

Stevie GB

The World's Funniest Accountant
Holbrook, Long Island New York

Following your dreams is a nightmare

250px-Freddy_KruegerI was watching an interview with Serena Williams. A documentary is coming out about The Williams sisters, the tennis pros. She said she never feels fully accomplished. She always feels like she has so much more to do. It sounds insane to think that she feels that way. Bob Dylan said “an artist is always in the state of becoming”. Like him or not, you have to admit Dylan has accomplished quite a bit, yet still feels like he hasn’t arrived. It made me realize why I sometimes feel unfulfilled.

I have a dream, just like anyone. It’s nice to have a dream of something bigger than yourself. I am not sure how to live without some goal in mind. The curse of having a dream is watching it start to come true. Whenever you have a little piece of your end goal come into fruition, it’s nearly impossible to resist the urge to go “all in.” Get an RV and just travel around broke and free.

I am not sure if I want to go for it, for fear that it may become that four letter word, “work.” My dream is making the rest of my life a nightmare. I can’t go a day without thinking about a future performance date or dates, or some new project. I get depressed if I don’t have enough dates booked. I have a fear that it may all come to an end.

People are supportive and tell me nice things like “wow you are doing great” or “you are on your way”. I don’t feel that way. I feel like I am going in circles. Two steps forward three steps back. I know I have to get off Long Island. I have exhausted my audience. As I get older it’s hard to think about travelling. I get anxious driving. I have night blindness and pee 75 times a day.

I can’t quit. Every time I think about quitting, something good happens. I like to
think it’s somebody up there keeping me going. Some divine intervention maybe.

It could be Freddy Krueger.

Read More
Stevie GB

Stevie GB

The World's Funniest Accountant
Holbrook, Long Island New York
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Mysterious Light on Mars Excites UFO Enthusiasts

Mars Mystery LightMysterious Light on Mars Excites UFO Enthusiasts:  Cameras on one of the NASA rovers have captured what appears to be a mysterious, artificial light shining in the distance on the surface of Mars which has UFO enthusiasts really excited.  CNN is looking into the possibility that it could be Malaysia Airlines Flight 370.  Ironically, while the signals emitted from the plane’s black box will stop after the batteries run out, CNN’s Flight 370 coverage may never stop. 

 

Photo4by6.jpgSon Sues Because Mom’s Nursing Home Hires Stripper:  The son of an 85-year-old woman in a Long Island nursing home is suing the facility after he claims to have found a photo of a male stripper grinding on his mom, who was seen sticking dollar bills into his briefs while other seniors stood around and cheered.  Guess the nursing home must have thought she was a “sexagenarian” instead of an octogenarian.  On the plus side, it was probably the best damn time this 85-year-old lady has had since her son stuck her in that nursing home.  

 

Megan FoxMegan Fox Reports Having Tattoo Removed Painful:  Actress Megan Fox says she had a Marilyn Monroe tattoo removed in laser sessions that she described as “incredibly painful.”  I can only wish I could be in a position where I could feel her pain.  

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The post Mysterious Light on Mars Excites UFO Enthusiasts appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

If I knew the secret…I wouldn’t tell you

audienceA newbie comedian approached me recently and asked me what the secret was to success in stand-up comedy. The interesting thing is this comic was on the same show as me; at a Moose Club in Suffolk County, Long Island. I would understand this question if I just came outside after being on The Late Show with David Letterman. What kind of advice can I give this person at the makeshift bar, surrounded by 60 somethings out on the town at the local watering hole.

After observing my surroundings, I told her “The secret to success in stand-up comedy is apparently still a secret”. The only advice I could honestly give her is to do three things and do them consistently:

1. Write

2. Perform

3. Go back to rule one and repeat

Now, I know what you’re saying. “That’s only two things”. Exactly. Write, perform and write and perform some more.

Steve Martin said it best “Get so good they can’t ignore you”. That is the truth. There are no quick roads to success. Real success.

There seem to be plenty of shortcuts. Young kids entering the comedy profession tend to go for the quick fame route. Get on some lame reality show, or fixed contest show and BOOM, fame and fortune are sure to follow. But check back two weeks later and they are history, or if they are lucky end up on a Celebrity rehab show.

Building an act that keeps people paying attention and hopefully entertained for 45 minutes to an hour. That is success in stand-up comedy. That level of success takes only three things:

1. Time

2. Time

3. Time

See what I did there?

Now that the secret is out I bet you are as disappointed as that comedian was that approached me at the Moose club. Sorry, but the truth hurts.

Thank you and good night. I’m here all week. Try the veal

Badump bump !!

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Stevie GB

Stevie GB

The World's Funniest Accountant
Holbrook, Long Island New York

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Storm Chaser Catches Shot of Twin Sister Tornadoes

Sister Tornados Under SupercellStorm Chaser Catches Shot of Twin Sister Tornadoes:  A weather photographer has captured the pic of a lifetime, a rare shot of “twin sister tornadoes” that were part of a supercell near Simla, Colorado.  Meteorologists say there’s a strong possibility that these twin sister tornadoes were likely “spinsters.”

 

Teddy Roosevelt HomeTeddy Roosevelt’s Home Reopening After $10 million Rehab:  Sagamore Hill, the Long Island mansion that was Theodore Roosevelt’s home and “Summer White House,” is set to reopen following an extensive four-year, $10 million renovation by the National Park Service, fitting for the man who championed historic preservation.  This is in stark contrast to my old stuff, which usually even gets rejected by the Salvation Army when I’m done with it.  Somewhat controversial was the fact that most of the rehab money went for new stainless steel kitchen appliances, a contemporary sofa and loveseat, three 4K HD TV’s, a microwave and updated 802.11ac WiFi connections.

 

Social MediaMany Young Adults Get Their News From Social Media:  According to a new study of news consumption trends by the Pew Research Center, one-third of American adults 30 and under are getting their “news” from social media, far surpassing newspapers.  Of course “news” to someone under 30 is simply learning that your friend is now dating someone new.

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The post Storm Chaser Catches Shot of Twin Sister Tornadoes appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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