Trump Lawyer Claims God Taking to Clouds in Support of Trump: In a recent twitter post, Donald Trump lawyer Michael Cohen claimed that God is sending us a message that he wants Donald Trump in the White House, posting a pic of a cloud formation that many Trump supporters say resembles Donald Trump’s face. They may very well be right, after all, everyone knows that clouds are formed by hot air rising. One thing’s for sure, if that really does turn out to be Trump’d image, don’t be surprised if he doesn’t try to sue God for using his likeness without paying royalties. Of course here in California, we’re more avant garde and prefer our Trump images on gourmet toasted grilled cheese sandwiches.
North Carolina Residents Say Endangered Red Wolves are a Pest: The fate of the world’s remaining wild population of red wolves is set to be decided soon as many North Carolina residents are complaining that the endangered wolves are increasingly straying onto private land and causing problems. North Carolina officials say they’ve offered the red wolves an option of either moving out or changing color, but the wolves have the attitude they’re “better red than dead.”
Obesity Rates Soar in Bible Belt States: A new survey on obesity in the United States found Louisiana at the top of the chart with an adult obesity rate of 36.2 percent, with Mississippi, Alabama and West Virginia following close behind. Who could have known that the Bible Belt would turn out to be a place where people are too big to even wear belts? Hell, obesity rates in Louisiana have gotten so bad, they’ve been forced to extend “Fat Tuesday” clear into the weekend.