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Internet Buzzing Over Melania Trump Body Double Conspiracy

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Melania-Trump-Bod... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Melania-Trump-Bod... 1024w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Internet Buzzing Over Melania Trump Body Double Conspiracy:  Melania Trump has become the center of a wild body double conspiracy theory after people began saying the woman who appeared on the White House lawn alongside the President in a trench coat and sunglasses didn’t look quite the same as Melania.  If you ask me, the answer’s quite simple – Melania is a robot and the factory provided several copies for Trump’s use.  Of course, another other explanation for why people think she may look a bit different is that the sun may possibly be melting her plastic face.  Personally, I think whoever that is who is standing next to President Trump certainly looks every bit as pissed off as real Melania usually does.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Dinosaur-With-Art... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Dinosaur-With-Art... 835w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />First Dinosaur With Arthritis Found in Southern New Jersey:  Scientists say they’ve discovered remains of a dinosaur in southern New Jersey who lived 70 million years ago who also suffered from a very crippling form of arthritis of the elbow.  Good grief, dinosaurs with arthritic elbows in New Jersey?  Must be from yanking that lever down on the slots in Atlantic City.  Rumor has it those dinosaurs had terrible gambling habits.  One thing’s for sure, even if you’re not a dinosaur – arthritis will definitely make you feel like an old fossil.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Elderly-Runner-76... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Elderly-Runner-51... 512w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Elderly-Runner.jpg 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" />Woman Sets World Record for 60 Meters at Age 95:  A 95-year-old woman has set a world record for her age group, running 60 meters in 29.86 seconds.  Good for her, but come on!  Once you hit 95, isn’t just about anything you do – be it bending over to breathing in and out most likely gonna set some kind of record?

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The post Internet Buzzing Over Melania Trump Body Double Conspiracy appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trump Lawyer Arranged $130K Hush Money to Keep Porn Star Quiet

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Daniels-and-Trump... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Daniels-and-Trump... 808w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Trump Lawyer Arranged $130K Hush Money to Keep Porn Star Quiet:  The Wall Street Journal is reporting that a lawyer for Donald Trump arranged a $130,000 payment to former porn star Stormy Daniels one month before the 2016 election in an effort to keep her silent about an alleged sexual encounter with the future President.

 

Gee, who could’ve ever imagined a day when a report about the President of the United States paying out $130,000 in hush money to a hooker would only be the 3rd most embarrassing story about him that day?  Hell, its getting to the point where even Charlie Sheen has more moral authority than this guy – winning!  Of course, I’m sure Trump’s pals over at Fox and Friends will be asking “so what’s wrong with banging porn stars and paying them hush money?”

 

To be fair, Republicans are quick to point out that Stormy Daniels is denying that the payout ever happened.  I’m sure she is.  I mean, isn’t that why they call these payouts “hush money?”  That said, Trump must have assumed that because her name is Stormy – there’d be a good chance of showers – Golden Showers.  In fact, rumor has it she’s busy writing a book about her experiences with the President entitled “Urine The White House Now.”

 

Anyway, if I’m doing the math correctly, this $130,000 payout means Trump is paying out over $100,000 per inch – or, put another way – $60,000 a minute for her services.  But come on – $130,000?  And they say nobody pays for porn anymore!  So much for Donald Trump’s superior negotiating skills.

 

One thing’s for sure, you can bet Republican Values Voters are gonna be just furious about this…just kidding!  Apparently Values Voters interpret Two Corinthians as saying “it’s perfectly fine to cheat on your wife with adult film stars, just as long as you pay them off properly.”  After all, nothing says “family values” like paying hush money to a porn star.  One thing’s for sure, all these scandals are likely to make poor Melania squint her eyes even more than she already does.

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The post Trump Lawyer Arranged $130K Hush Money to Keep Porn Star Quiet appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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