Doug Jones Defeats Roy Moore in Alabama Senate Contest: Doug Jones, who made his name by prosecuting two former KKK members who bombed a black church, has won a stunning victory in the Alabama Senate race – the first Democrat to win such a seat in the state for 25 years. Of course, I realize the Moore camp has asked for a recount, but no matter how you look at the numbers – she was still only 14.
Kremlin Interrupting Trump’s Tweets as Official Statements: According to Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov, President Trump’s tweets are being reported to Russian President Vladimir Putin, right along with other information about the United States, as official statements by the American President. I get that. Hell, at this point in his Presidency, we may as well start considering Trump’s farts as “official statements.”
British Surgeon Guilty of Branding His Initials On Livers: In what prosecutors call “a case without legal precedent in criminal law,” a British surgeon is scheduled to be sentenced for assault on two patients, after pleading guilty to branding his initials onto their livers with an electric beam during transplant surgery. Geez, this guy is like Hannibal Lecter, makes you wonder what the hell else he’s been up to? It would be just my luck that I’d end up with a surgeon who also fancies himself as a graffiti artist. Now I’m starting to get a little bit concerned about that vasectomy I had a few years ago.
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