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Bannon Calls Ivanka Trump Dumb as Brick in New Book

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Ivanka-Trump.jpg 300w" sizes="(max-width: 225px) 100vw, 225px" />Bannon Calls Ivanka Trump Dumb As a Brick in New Book:  Exerts from the new book “Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House” by Michael Wolff, claims former White House strategist Steve Bannon believes the President’s daughter Ivanka is “dumb as a brick,” and describes the meeting between Trump campaign officials and the Russians which took place in Trump Tower as “treasonous.”

 

But how could Ivanka be dumb – she has a master’s degree from Trump University?  Besides, I’ve never seen a brick purchase high-end breast implants before.  What Bannon should have said is – “Ivanka’s dumber than a gold brick.”  That would make more sense.  That said, even bricks can be successful, assuming they had access to massive quantities of wealth which Ivanka does.

 

And while I’m certainly no big fan of the Trump family, it kind of looks as if poor Ivanka’s caught between a brick and a hard (botoxed) face.  Meanwhile, President Trump was quick to defend his daughter – pointing out that Ivanka’s way hotter than Bannon anyway.  Now, I guess the only thing left for the White House to do, is have Sarah Huckabee Sanders and Kellyanne Conway explain what all this means to baffled Trump supporters.

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The post Bannon Calls Ivanka Trump Dumb as Brick in New Book appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

President Trump in Excellent Health After Physical

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Donald-Trump-Phys... 620w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />President Trump in Excellent Health After Physical:  President Trump’s White House physician Dr. Ronny Jackson, has declared him in “excellent health” after the president received his first medical checkup at Walter Reed military hospital.

 

Personally, I can’t think of a more disgusting job than having to examine Donald Trump’s body, but I guess its just part of Dr. Jackson’s job.  After all, he is a rear admiral.  That’s probably why Trump’s physical included a semi-colonoscopy.

 

Anyway, the doctor summarized by noting that while the President’s hands and genitals appear to be significantly smaller than normal – we’ve not had another American President in this kind physical condition since William Howard Taft – similar to what astronomers often refer to as “gas giants.”

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The post President Trump in Excellent Health After Physical appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Poll Finds 81% of Americans Can’t Identify Single Living Scientist

Poll Finds 81% of Americans Can’t Identify Single Living Scientist:  A new poll found that a full 81 percent of Americans could not correctly identify a single living scientist when asked to do so.  Well, all I can say is I certainly don’t fall into that category.  Hell, I’d know my proctologist anywhere.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/CES-Blackout-300x... 300w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/CES-Blackout.jpg 400w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" />Power Goes Out at High-Tech Showcase CES:  The lights went out at the nation’s premier consumer-technology conference CES, leaving thousands of attendees and a legion of shiny gadgets in the dark with no power source.  Luckily, quick-thinking Convention Center officials immediately bused in scores of elderly people from senior centers on an emergency basis to teach totally bored and idle millennials how to play marbles, jacks and step ball.  Some were even taught how to compose and send handwritten letters back to their parents.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Bannon-Out-at-Bre... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Bannon-Out-at-Bre... 1024w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Steve Bannon Ousted From Breitbart:  Unable to quell the furor over remarks attributed to him in a new book, former White House chief strategist Steve Bannon has been forced out of far-right website Breitbart and will step down as its executive chairman.  Good grief, something like that is enough to send our friend Bannon off on a three-day bender.  Now let me see, where the hell did I put that bottle of Popov vodka?

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The post Poll Finds 81% of Americans Can’t Identify Single Living Scientist appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Trump Calls Elizabeth Warren Pocahontas at Event Honoring Navajos

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Code-Breakers.jpg 750w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Trump Calls Elizabeth Warren Pocahontas at Event Honoring Navajos:  Even while at a White House ceremony intended to honor the World War II Navajo code talkers, Trump found he couldn’t resist making a derogatory comment about his adversary Sen. Elizabeth Warren, referring to her once again as “Pocahontas.”  No surprise there – I mean this is a guy who politicized a speech he made to the damn Boy Scouts.  Kind of makes you wonder he’ll do next?  Throw paper towels at hurricane victims?

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Facebook.png 640w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Facebook Rolls Out AI to Detect Suicidal Posts:  Facebook announced a brand new “proactive detection artificial intelligence technology,” designed to scan all posts looking for patterns of suicidal thoughts – and when necessary – send mental health resources to the user at risk.  Gee, one would assume with all the money Facebook has, they could afford to just hire some actual intelligence rather than the artificial kind.  Wonder if that new “artificial intelligence” will also be able to detect when foreign governments are buying fake, political hacker ads to post on Facebook?  The first clue might be when they’re paying for everything in Rubles.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Elerdy.jpg 728w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Study Finds We’re Living Longer Lives in Poorer Health:  A new study found that while life expectancy is increasing, adults are spending a large portion of their retirement years in poor health.  A Trump Administration spokesperson claims the easiest way to put a stop to this trend would be to make dramatic cuts to medical care funding for the elderly – combined with lowering taxes for the wealthy.  Problem solved!

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The post Trump Calls Elizabeth Warren Pocahontas at Event Honoring Navajos appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trump Claims He Pulled Out of Time’s Person of the Year

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Person-of-Year.jpg 450w" sizes="(max-width: 225px) 100vw, 225px" />Trump Claims He Pulled Out of Time’s Person of the Year:  President Trump is claiming that Time magazine was contemplating naming him the “Person of the Year” for a second year in a row, but he pulled out of the running because he didn’t want to participate in their interview and photo shoot.  OK, so Donald Trump pulled out of Time’s “Person of the Year!”  Frankly, I think we’d all be a lot better off had his father – Fred Trump – pulled out instead.

 

 

Study Finds Cinnamon Attacks Fat and Fights Obesity:  University of Michigan research finds an essential oil in cinnamon attacks fat cells and could be used as a treatment to fight obesity.  In related news, obesity advocates say cruel “fat shammers” have been caught on video offering cinnamon rolls to plus-sized models.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Donald-and-Tiger.jpg 718w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Critics Say Trump’s Golfing Deters From White House Duties:  President Trump has already done more golfing in his short presidency than Presidents Obama, George W. Bush and Bill Clinton combined, which critics feel has deterred him from his duties as President.  Administration officials counter that nearly all of those duties are still getting completed, only – rather than bother with them himself, the President has outsourced them to the Russians.

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The post Trump Claims He Pulled Out of Time’s Person of the Year appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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Major Flaw Logging in to iPhone X Uncovered

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/iPhone-X-768x652.jpg 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/iPhone-X-1024x870... 1024w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Major Flaw Logging in to iPhone X Uncovered:  Had to call Apple to complain after encountering major issues trying to login to my iPhone X.  The damn iPhone’s facial recognition feature has not only been blocking me from logging me in, but has also begun calling me ugly too.  To make matters worse, Siri has been sending me lists of notable plastic surgeons in my area.

 

Finland Testing Nasal Spray Aimed at Tackling Gambling Addiction:  Researchers in Finland are testing to see if naloxone, a fast-working spray that blocks the production of dopamine, could be beneficial in helping to cure gambling addiction.  Researchers are optimistic about the results and many of those its designed to help are betting heavily that it’ll work.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Ivanka-and-Jared-... 150w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Ivanka-and-Jared.jpg 616w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />

Deputy Press Secretary Hogan Gidley Defends Jared and Ivanka:  White House deputy press secretary Hogan Gidley told reporters that Steve Bannon’s comments about Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump in Michael Wolff’s new book were “grotesque” and “repugnant” considering the president’s children have been “sacrificing their personal lives in service to their country.”  Gee, I never quite thought of grifting and treason as a sacrifice, but I suppose both can consume a lot of one’s time.  That said, it sounds like a certain deputy press secretary is kissing-up for that head White House Press Secretary job once Sarah Huckabee Sanders finally gets called back home to Satan.

 

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The post Major Flaw Logging in to iPhone X Uncovered appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Study Finds Sore Joints Aren’t Caused by Bad Weather

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Bad-Joints.jpg 743w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Study Finds Sore Joints Aren’t Caused by Bad Weather:  Researchers from Harvard Medical School say the old folk tale that bad weather prompts aches and pains in bad joints just isn’t supported by the evidence.  Now I don’t know about that, but I do know I’ve smoked some really bad joints in some good weather.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Paula-White.jpg 720w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Trump Advisor Claims Obama Threw Baby Jesus Out of White House:  During an appearance on the Fox News Channel, Donald Trump‘s “spiritual advisor” Paula White celebrated Christians’ victory in the War on Christmas, by saying that President Trump is allowing the baby Jesus back into the White House after Obama threw him out.  Perhaps, but I suspect that after Jesus takes a look around and sees all the neo-Nazis and White Supremisists Trump brought in, I’m not too sure he’ll wanna spend a lot of time hanging out there anyway.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Celiac-Disease.jpg 666w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />New Blood Test Can Accurately Diagnose Celiac Disease:  Celiac disease is an autoimmune disorder that affects only one percent of the US population, but a new blood test promises to detect once and for all, if someone actually has immune cells in their blood – even if they’ve not recently been exposed to gluten.  First customers for the tests are expected to be restaurant servers – who will administer them to whining, gluten-free customers to determine if they truly have Celiac disease or are simply obnoxious, trendy, jerk-off hipsters trying to impress their friends.

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The post Study Finds Sore Joints Aren’t Caused by Bad Weather appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony Held at White House

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Donal-Trump-Turke... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Donal-Trump-Turke... 1024w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony Held at White House:  In the annual Presidential ceremony at the White House, President Trump has pardoned a Thanksgiving turkey they’ve named “Drumstick.”

 

The following day, the President angrily tweeted he has yet to receive the expected thank you call or tweet from either the turkey, its parents or the turkey community.  Talk about an ungrateful turkey.  Sad!  Of course, in the turkey’s defense – Trump only agreed in principle to pardon the white meat.  Ironically, with the Mueller investigation closing in, it may turn out that it’ll be Trump’s goose that is cooked – not the turkey’s.

 

And, to be completely fair, this isn’t the first turkey the President has pardoned this year.  That was former Sheriff Joe Arpaio.  What I find most interesting is that – just before Trump pardoned the turkey, he declared it was once again “open season” on African elephants.  That said, the turkey’s fate may still be in legal limbo, in that a US District Judge in Hawaii has just ruled Trump’s Turkey Pardon is unconstitutional!

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The post Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony Held at White House appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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