Wednesday , 17 January 2018
News Alert!
  • Welcome to our new mobile friendly theme!
  • Try clicking on a comedian's picture in their joke or video!
  • Check out our awesome sharing options!
  • Click on the topic picture in a joke or video for more on that topic
  • Youtube import is working again!

Work

How Recent: 1 Month
Staff Picks
My Comics
Show Everyting

Pentagon’s Secret UFO Boss Thinks We May Not Be Alone

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/ETs-768x430.jpg 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/ETs-1024x574.jpg 1024w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Pentagon’s Secret UFO Boss Thinks We May Not Be Alone:  After a video was released of Air Force jets tracking what appeared to be an unidentified flying object, the former head of the Pentagon’s secret UFO-hunting bureau admitted he believes “we may not be alone.”

 

OK, but I guess my first question is – if we all now know about it – how secret can this “Secret Pentagon UFO Unit” really be?  Secondly, if these extra-terrestrials really do exist, has anyone ever explained why they only seem interested in showing up at trailer parks and heavily wooded areas in the Deep South?  Could they have somehow acquired a passion for deep-fried foods?  Or perhaps we’ve just discovered the first interstellar NASCAR fans?  I mean, who knows?  After all, when it comes to space aliens, the sky is the limit.

 

Anyway, in the meantime – the Trump Administration is doing their best to calm any anxieties people may have over this alien invasion disclosure by reassuring everyone that President Trump’s new global immigration policies are also designed to dissuade space aliens from landing here on Earth.  This is accomplished by preventing any space aliens from finding decent paying jobs or trying to vote in elections against people like Roy Moore without being in possession of proper identification.  Now I ask you, what could be more comforting than that?

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Pentagon’s Secret UFO Boss Thinks We May Not Be Alone appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Sarah Palin’s Son Track Arrested for Domestic Violence

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Track-Palin.jpg 718w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Sarah Palin’s Son Track Arrested for Domestic Violence:  Track Palin, the oldest son of former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, has been arraigned on charges of domestic violence, felony burglary, misdemeanor reckless assault and misdemeanor criminal mischief for causing up to $500 in property damage.  Gee, I was just gonna remark “say it isn’t so,” but of course – that would be someone like Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ job.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Gene-Sequencing-7... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Gene-Sequencing-1... 1024w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Gene-Sequencing.jpg 1240w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Scientists Now Have Tools to Bring Back Once Extinct Animals:  Because of new advances in gene sequencing technology, scientists are now able to bring back once-extinct species of animals such as the Tasmanian tiger and the woolly mammoth, but some wonder if its really such a good idea.  Now I don’t know about the Tasmanian tiger, but I am concerned about the consequences of bringing back the woolly mammoth.  After all, there’s quite a lot of people who are allergic to wool.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Jerry-Richardson.jpg 534w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Jerry Richardson to Sell Carolina Panthers Amid Investigation:  Jerry Richardson announced he will sell his Charlotte-based NFL franchise at the end of the 2017 season amid reports that the 81-year-old NFL owner paid-out financial settlements to multiple former team employees over inappropriate behavior and comments.  Wow, an 81-year-old NFL owner who’s had a heart transplant sexually harassing his employees?  Now that’s some serious “fantasy football.”

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Sarah Palin’s Son Track Arrested for Domestic Violence appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

President Trump in Excellent Health After Physical

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Donald-Trump-Phys... 620w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />President Trump in Excellent Health After Physical:  President Trump’s White House physician Dr. Ronny Jackson, has declared him in “excellent health” after the president received his first medical checkup at Walter Reed military hospital.

 

Personally, I can’t think of a more disgusting job than having to examine Donald Trump’s body, but I guess its just part of Dr. Jackson’s job.  After all, he is a rear admiral.  That’s probably why Trump’s physical included a semi-colonoscopy.

 

Anyway, the doctor summarized by noting that while the President’s hands and genitals appear to be significantly smaller than normal – we’ve not had another American President in this kind physical condition since William Howard Taft – similar to what astronomers often refer to as “gas giants.”

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post President Trump in Excellent Health After Physical appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
Laugh Blast!
jokes and videos in your inbox

Site Tip!

Did you know that comedians love it when you spread their jokes around? Check out our nifty share options () that help you help them at the bottom of each post.

Major Flaw Logging in to iPhone X Uncovered

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/iPhone-X-768x652.jpg 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/iPhone-X-1024x870... 1024w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Major Flaw Logging in to iPhone X Uncovered:  Had to call Apple to complain after encountering major issues trying to login to my iPhone X.  The damn iPhone’s facial recognition feature has not only been blocking me from logging me in, but has also begun calling me ugly too.  To make matters worse, Siri has been sending me lists of notable plastic surgeons in my area.

 

Finland Testing Nasal Spray Aimed at Tackling Gambling Addiction:  Researchers in Finland are testing to see if naloxone, a fast-working spray that blocks the production of dopamine, could be beneficial in helping to cure gambling addiction.  Researchers are optimistic about the results and many of those its designed to help are betting heavily that it’ll work.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Ivanka-and-Jared-... 150w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Ivanka-and-Jared.jpg 616w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />

Deputy Press Secretary Hogan Gidley Defends Jared and Ivanka:  White House deputy press secretary Hogan Gidley told reporters that Steve Bannon’s comments about Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump in Michael Wolff’s new book were “grotesque” and “repugnant” considering the president’s children have been “sacrificing their personal lives in service to their country.”  Gee, I never quite thought of grifting and treason as a sacrifice, but I suppose both can consume a lot of one’s time.  That said, it sounds like a certain deputy press secretary is kissing-up for that head White House Press Secretary job once Sarah Huckabee Sanders finally gets called back home to Satan.

 

SaveSave

SaveSave

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Major Flaw Logging in to iPhone X Uncovered appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Site Tip!

Did you know that we have thousands of comedy topics? You can click on the large topic image in a joke or video for more hilarity on that subject or use the search to find what you are looking for.

Today's Featured Hot Topics

Most Popular