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Astronomers Measure Milky Way with Radio Waves

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Measuring-Milky-W... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Measuring-Milky-W... 800w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Astronomers Measure Milky Way with Radio Waves:  Astronomers are using a collection of radio telescopes that span thousands of miles in an attempt to measure Milky Way with radio waves.  When asked why use radio waves to take the measurement, astronomers say the Milky Way is so big that using a ruler or a tape measure just wouldn’t be practical, even if they were somehow able to recruit all the people who’ve leveled charges against Harvey Weinstein to help with the measuring. 

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Birth-Control-768... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Birth-Control-102... 1024w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Birth-Control.jpg 1280w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Trump Administration to Promote Rhythm Method and Abstinence:  According to a recently leaked memo, the Trump administration plans to slash the budget for family planning and – in its place, begin promoting abstinence and the rhythm method.  Which is kind of funny when you consider there’s probably not a single person in the Trump Administration who even has any rhythm.  On a positive note, administration officials say vouchers will still be available for those wishing to purchase chastity belts.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Mosquitoes.jpg 456w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Nazi Scientists Had Plans to Use Mosquitoes As Weapons:  Newly found records suggest that Nazi scientists at the infamous Dachau concentration camp planned to use offensive biological warfare on Germany’s World War II enemies by releasing malaria-carrying mosquitoes from airplanes.  The project was abandoned after it became obvious that Germany could never make swastika armbands small enough to fit on the mosquito’s legs.

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The post Astronomers Measure Milky Way with Radio Waves appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Strangers on Delta Flight Caught Having Oral Sex in Their Seats

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Delta-Airlines.jpg 384w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Strangers on Delta Flight Caught Having Oral Sex in Their Seats:  A 28-year-old man and a 48-year-old woman – who had just met while sitting next to each other on a Delta flight from Los Angeles to Detroit – face possible felony charges after the woman was caught in the act of giving oral sex to the male passenger.

 

Wow, I have to admit that before I looked at their ages, I was thinking “why would Harvey Weinstein be flying to Detroit?”  That said, this was kind of a creative way to use-up those air miles travel points.  I mean, who needs Pornhub when you can just grab yourself a quick flight to Detroit?  And to think industry analysts were just reporting how hard its been for airlines to fill up their flights to Detroit…not anymore!

 

But come on, all kidding aside – this was rather inconsiderate on the part of these two.  I mean, suppose one of the other passengers sitting nearby had a “nut” allergy?  That said, several passengers did remark about how this was certainly a hell of a lot more entertaining than those crappy in-flight movies.  Regardless, everyone knows passengers are not supposed to have full access to the cockpit during a flight.  And even if the plane were going down, that doesn’t necessarily mean the passengers have to.

 

Anyway, after being caught in the act, flight attendants instructed the female passenger to “please return her fellow passenger to his upright position.”  Of course, if this guy was really smart, he should have just thrown his jacket over her head and claimed she was simply having a set of mild seizures.  Meanwhile, after the plane landed, an attorney for the female passenger told reporters her defense would likely be “if the mouth doesn’t fit, you must acquit.”

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The post Strangers on Delta Flight Caught Having Oral Sex in Their Seats appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Man to Launch Himself in Homemade Rocket to Prove Earth Flat

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Flat-Earth-Rocket... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Flat-Earth-Rocket... 782w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Man to Launch Himself in Homemade Rocket to Prove Earth Flat:  Seeking to prove that a conspiracy of astronauts fabricated the shape of the Earth, a California man intends to prove the Earth is flat by launching himself 1,800 feet into the air at 500 miles per hour in a homemade, steam-powered rocket he built out of scrap metal.  So, to prove the Earth is flat, he’s gonna go “splat!”  I’m guessing he must have missed the last solar eclipse.  And he’ll be flying at an altitude of only 1800 feet?  Why we have buildings a lot taller than that.  And commercial jetliners frequently cruise at 30,000 feet.  Why put yourself through all this – when you can just buy an airline ticket to Cleveland and ask for a window seat?  On a positive note, he shouldn’t have any problem launching the thing, because President Trump just announced plans to repeal “The Law Of Gravity” as part of his promise to deregulate everything.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Roman-Ship-768x51... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Roman-Ship-1024x6... 1024w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Roman-Ship.jpg 1348w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Archeologists Find Roman Shipwrecks off Egypt’s Coast:  Egyptian officials report archaeologists have discovered three sunken shipwrecks dating back more than 2,000 years to Roman times off the coast of the city of Alexandria.  Alert Egyptian officials said that when the ships didn’t even show up after 2000 years, we felt something may have happened to them and that it was time to start looking.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Evolution-of-Huma... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Evolution-of-Huma... 1024w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Evolution-of-Huma... 1240w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />

Human Teeth Evolved from the Scales of Ancient Shark:  New evidence out of the University of Cambridge suggests that the teeth in your mouth have their origin in the scales of primitive shark-like fish.  Good – then maybe I’ll send them my dental bills.

 

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The post Man to Launch Himself in Homemade Rocket to Prove Earth Flat appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Facebook Asking for Users Nude Pics to Combat Revenge Porn

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Facebook.jpg 481w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Facebook Asking for Users Nude Pics to Combat Revenge Porn:  In an attempt to to prevent “revenge porn,” Facebook is starting a pilot program and asking users to volunteer nude pics of themselves to an algorithm to combat revenge porn – but the company admits that those nudes will be viewed by a human at the company first.  So, let me get this straight.  Pictures – which I would never want posted on the internet – I’m supposed to send them in to the biggest site on the internet – so they can then use them to ensure that they will never, ever be posted on the internet?  What could possibly go wrong there?

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Panera-Bread-768x... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Panera-Bread.jpg 920w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Panera Bread to Purchase Rival Chain Au Bon Pain:  Panera Bread is buying rival cafe restaurant chain Au Bon Pain, a chain Panera CEO Ron Shaich co-founded more than three and half decades ago.  While terms of the deal were not fully disclosed, analysts say the purchase will undoubtedly cost Panera quite a lot of bread.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Hawkings-Predicti... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Hawkings-Predicti... 1024w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Hawkings-Predicti... 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Stephen Hawking Predicts Earth Will Be a Fireball by 2600:  Mastermind physicist Stephen Hawking is predicting that the human race will perish on Earth after we turn it into a sizzling fireball in less than 600 years.  I can live with that!  In fact, I’ll worry about all that when I turn 575.  On the other hand, knowing this – I do kind of wish I’d have stretched my car financing out another 599 years.  Besides, at the rate we’re going, in another 600 years – about the only thing that’ll still be around will be an image of Keith Richards face.

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The post Facebook Asking for Users Nude Pics to Combat Revenge Porn appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Russia Banned from Winter Olympics Over Doping Scandal

Russia Banned from Winter Olympics Over Doping Scandal:  The International Olympic Committee (IOC) announced that it has suspended Russia’s Olympic team from competing in the 2018 Winter Olympics over the country’s doping scandal.  Yea, and while we’re on the topic of “Russian doping scandals,” let’s not forget about that dope the Russians put in the White House.

 

Pence Ratted Out His Fraternity Brothers For Having A Keg:  When he was a sophomore at the small Presbyterian school Hanover College, Vice President Mike Pence reportedly snitched on his Phi Gamma Delta fraternity brothers for having a keg at a party on his college’s dry campus and got his entire house in trouble.  In Pence’s defense, he was just trying to prevent his precious Hanover College from turning into Hangover College.

 

Winklevoss Twins are Now Bitcoin Billionaires:  Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss, the identical twins famous for their legal battle with Mark Zuckerberg over the ownership of Facebook, have become the world’s first bitcoin billionaires following a surge in value of the currency over the past year.  The way I look at it – I may not have a billion dollars, but at least no one is calling me “Winklevoss.”

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The post Russia Banned from Winter Olympics Over Doping Scandal appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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Mysterious Cavity Discovered Deep Within Great Pyramid

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Cavity-in-Great-P... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Cavity-in-Great-P... 1024w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Cavity-in-Great-P... 1200w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Mysterious Cavity Discovered Deep Within Great Pyramid:  Archaeologists report they’ve just uncovered a mysterious cavity hidden deep inside the Great Pyramid of Giza, the oldest of the seven wonders of the ancient world.

 

While I’m no archeologist, my first guess would be its part of the Pyramid’s creamy-smooth, chocolatey core.  Laugh if you want, but I think that makes a hell of a lot more sense than Ben Carson’s “grain silos.”  But your guess is as good as mine.  As far as we know, it could have been where the Pharaoh stashed all his dirty magazines.  Hell, they may even find my lost remote somewhere in there.

 

All I can tell you is this – my dentist recently showed me a similar image of a cavity, only this time there were no hidden treasures – just his bill for $275.  In fact, word has it local dentists say if the cavity runs deep enough, they may have to do a root canal.  And that would probably mean the pyramid would also need a new crown as well.  Let’s hope they had insurance.

 

But, of course – all this is simply speculation.  We can never know anything for sure until a trained TSA agent does a full cavity search.  That said, it doesn’t really matter what they find in there anyway, because in a couple of years – you can just bet this cavity is gonna be home to a brand new Starbucks, McDonald’s or a 7-Eleven convenience store.  Not even the Pharaoh’s can stop commerce.

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The post Mysterious Cavity Discovered Deep Within Great Pyramid appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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