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Slug Mucus Glue That Stops Internal Bleeding Created

Slug Mucus Glue That Stops Internal Bleeding Created:  Scientists say a sticky slug mucus has been used to create a glue that can stop internal bleeding by binding biological tissues together – even if they are wet.  So let me get this straight, you’re bleeding internally because you’ve taken a slug from a 45 caliber revolver, and then you’re saved because you’ve taken another slug and used its mucus to stop the bleeding?  Now if you’ll excuse me, I believe its about time for a slug of Jack Daniels.

 

Hannity Denies Spending $42,000 on Lobster at Trump Restaurant:  Conservative Trump booster Sean Hannity is denying a report leaked by a waiter that he blew $42,000 at a Trump restaurant on a 70-year-old lobster which they had flown in from Maine for his dinner.  Anyway, now that that issue has been resolved, time to get back to ranting about all the out-of-touch, Prius-driving, latte-sipping, liberal elites ruining this country.

 

Trump’s New Communications Director Claims Earth is 5,500 Years Old:  In a 2016 CNN interview, President Trump’s controversial new While House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci said he believes climate science is unverified and the Earth is only 5,500 years-old.  I think he may be confusing that date with the era the administration would like to take us back to.

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The post Slug Mucus Glue That Stops Internal Bleeding Created appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trump Bodyguard Frequently Sent on McDonald’s Runs

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Donald-Eating-Fri... 612w" sizes="(max-width: 287px) 100vw, 287px" />Trump Bodyguard Frequently Sent on McDonald’s Runs:  Because the White House kitchen staff often couldn’t match the satisfaction of a quarter-pounder with cheese (no pickles, extra ketchup) and a fried apple pie, Trump bodyguard Keith Schiller was frequently dispatched to head down to the New York Avenue McDonald’s on a stealth fast food run.  So, he has the best chefs in the navy at his disposal – ready to prepare anything he wants 24/7 – and he still prefers McDonald’s?  This poses the question, which comes first – the heart attack or the impeachment?  Luckily for Trump, he’s still gonna have great health insurance – even after the Republicans take it away from the rest of us.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Chinese-Pottery-7... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Chinese-Pottery-1... 1024w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Chinese-Pottery.jpg 1183w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Oldest Known Pottery Found in China:  Archaeologists say pottery fragments found in a south China cave have been confirmed to be 20,000 years old, making them the oldest known pottery in the world.  Scientists caution that while the pottery is historically significant, it shouldn’t be considered microwave safe.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Tampon-Bombers.jpg 400w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Couple Tries to Blow Up Vehicle with Tampons:  A Pennsylvania couple has been charged with attempted arson, public drunkenness, and criminal mischief for attempting to blow up a Ford Fusion by stuffing tampons in the gas tank and motor oil compartment and igniting them.  Police warn that had the couple been successful, the situation could have quickly turned into a blood-bath.

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The post Trump Bodyguard Frequently Sent on McDonald’s Runs appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Clinical Trail Looks Into Alcohol Preventing Heart Attacks

Clinical Trail Looks Into Alcohol Preventing Heart Attacks: The National Institutes of Health is in the process of starting a $100 million industry-backed clinical trial to test for the first time whether or not a drink a day really does prevent heart attacks.  You mean to tell me they’re spending $100 million for just one drink a day?  Where the hell are they buying these drinks anyway – Trump Tower?

 

CDC Says Poor Sleep Can Lead to Alzheimer’s:  The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention calls disrupted sleep a “public health problem,” because of its close association with a higher risk of Alzheimer’s and other types of dementia.  So for all of you who can’t remember the last time you had a good night’s sleep, now you know why.

 

Volvo Plans to Electrify All Its Cars By 2019:  Volvo, now under Chinese ownership, announced plan that all new models of its cars starting in 2019 will be equipped with an electric motor, marking the end of the solely combustion powered engine at the automaker.  Not to be outdone, famous lounge chair manufacturer La-Z-Boy announced starting early next year, they will only make “electric chairs.”

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The post Clinical Trail Looks Into Alcohol Preventing Heart Attacks appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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Study Finds People Who Use Marijuana Have More Sex

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Joint-768x627.jpg 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Joint-1024x836.jpg 1024w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Joint.jpg 1248w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Study Finds People Who Use Marijuana Have More Sex:  A new study involving more than 50,000 Americans found that people who use marijuana tend to have more sex than those who don’t use the drug.  What a bunch of bull!  Why, after I read this story, I ran right out and smoked a joint and then asked a woman if she’d like to have sex with me and she said “absolutely not!”

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Dyson-Car-768x402... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Dyson-Car-1024x53... 1024w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Dyson Announces Plans to Build Zero-Emissions Vehicle:  British inventor Sir James Dyson is branching out from his bagless vacuum cleaners – announcing plans to spend more than $2.7 billion to build a swoon-worthy, zero-emissions vehicle by 2020 and hiring 400 auto industry veterans.  Well, let’s hope it doesn’t suck.  It’s a good thing he’s hired experienced industry veterans to help him, because let’s face it folks – new cars just aren’t created in a vacuum.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/unnamed-file-768x... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/unnamed-file.jpg 1024w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Study Says 40 Billion Earth-Like Planets in Our Galaxy:  Astronomers at the University of California-Berkeley and the University of Hawaii released a study saying there are likely around 40 billion planets with Earth-like characteristics that could support life in our galaxy.  Yea, and can you just imagine how pissed off they’re gonna be when they learn that only “Earth women” are allowed to be crowned “Miss Universe?”

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The post Study Finds People Who Use Marijuana Have More Sex appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Auto Industry Pursuing a Hyper-Personal Experience

Auto Industry Pursuing a Hyper-Personal Experience:  The word out of CES is that in the not-so-distant future, vehicles will not only be safer and more efficient, they will also be our companion, watching our every move with empathy.  You’re kidding – a car with empathy?  So now, I suppose if you eat too much and get gas, that means your car will wanna get gas too?

 

Apple’s Cash Reserves at Record Levels:  Its being reported that Apple, the world’s largest technology company, now has more cash reserves on hand than the United States government.  In response, President-elect Donald Trump announced plans to convert the Capitol Building into a huge Apple Store.

 

Mysterious Sea Creature Washes Ashore In Spain:  Local residents were shocked after an incredibly strange-looking 13-foot-long, horned sea creature washed ashore on a beach in the southern coastal town of Villaricos, Spain.  Those who’ve observed the creature describe it as a cross between the Loch Ness Monster and something Anthony Weiner might tweet.

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The post Auto Industry Pursuing a Hyper-Personal Experience appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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