Friday , 27 April 2018
News Alert!
  • Welcome to our new mobile friendly theme!
  • Try clicking on a comedian's picture in their joke or video!
  • Check out our awesome sharing options!
  • Click on the topic picture in a joke or video for more on that topic
  • Youtube import is working again!

Bailout

How Recent: 6 Months
Staff Picks
My Comics
Show Everyting

Trump Consultants Exploited the Facebook Data of Millions

Trump Consultants Exploited the Facebook Data of Millions:  After it secured a $15 million investment from wealthy Republican donor Robert Mercer, the political consulting firm Cambridge Analytica obtained personal data from more than 50 million Facebook users without their permission and turned it all over to the Trump election campaign.  And that, my friends, is precisely why I always make it a point to never to post anything on social media that I wouldn’t scribble all over the walls in a public restroom.

 

Trump Proposes Death Penalty for Drug Dealers:  President Trump told an audience in New Hampshire that he will quickly solve the opioid crises by imposing the death penalty for those drug dealers, arguing that the federal government is “wasting our time” if it isn’t willing to put traffickers to death.  Which is rather interesting when you consider many people are in fact getting these opioids from their doctors.  On a positive note, if you’ve ever thought about going to med school, now might be a good time to apply.  Looks like there’s gonna be some vacancies on the horizon.

 

Pedestrian Killed By Driverless Car:  Sadly, a self-driving car, operated by Uber Technologies Inc. – struck and killed a pedestrian in Arizona in the first known fatality involving an autonomous vehicle, an accident that could damage the public perception of this young industry.  Well, let’s hope Uber doesn’t plan on testing their driverless cars in Sleepy Hollow.  I think they’ve got enough on their plates already – what with the headless horseman and all.

The post Trump Consultants Exploited the Facebook Data of Millions appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
Laugh Blast!
jokes and videos in your inbox

Site Tip!

Did you know that comedians love it when you spread their jokes around? Check out our nifty share options () that help you help them at the bottom of each post.

Site Tip!

Did you know that we have thousands of comedy topics? You can click on the large topic image in a joke or video for more hilarity on that subject or use the search to find what you are looking for.

Trump Bodyguard Frequently Sent on McDonald’s Runs

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Donald-Eating-Fri... 612w" sizes="(max-width: 287px) 100vw, 287px" />Trump Bodyguard Frequently Sent on McDonald’s Runs:  Because the White House kitchen staff often couldn’t match the satisfaction of a quarter-pounder with cheese (no pickles, extra ketchup) and a fried apple pie, Trump bodyguard Keith Schiller was frequently dispatched to head down to the New York Avenue McDonald’s on a stealth fast food run.  So, he has the best chefs in the navy at his disposal – ready to prepare anything he wants 24/7 – and he still prefers McDonald’s?  This poses the question, which comes first – the heart attack or the impeachment?  Luckily for Trump, he’s still gonna have great health insurance – even after the Republicans take it away from the rest of us.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Chinese-Pottery-7... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Chinese-Pottery-1... 1024w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Chinese-Pottery.jpg 1183w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Oldest Known Pottery Found in China:  Archaeologists say pottery fragments found in a south China cave have been confirmed to be 20,000 years old, making them the oldest known pottery in the world.  Scientists caution that while the pottery is historically significant, it shouldn’t be considered microwave safe.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Tampon-Bombers.jpg 400w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Couple Tries to Blow Up Vehicle with Tampons:  A Pennsylvania couple has been charged with attempted arson, public drunkenness, and criminal mischief for attempting to blow up a Ford Fusion by stuffing tampons in the gas tank and motor oil compartment and igniting them.  Police warn that had the couple been successful, the situation could have quickly turned into a blood-bath.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Trump Bodyguard Frequently Sent on McDonald’s Runs appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trade Wars Looming as Trump Bolsters Threats

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Donald-Trump.jpg 750w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Trade Wars Looming as Trump Bolsters Threats:  After world leaders threatened to retaliate over President Trump’s new import tariffs, President Trump heightened the tension by threatening to slam European automotive makers with steep tariffs as his global trade war is snowballing.  Gee, seems as if President Trump’s succeeded in getting all our allies to hate each other – what more could Putin ask for?  Come to think of it, this is probably exactly what Putin asked for!

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Broke-Roy-Moore-7... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Broke-Roy-Moore.jpg 900w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Roy Moore Broke and Asking Supporters for Donations:  Roy Moore, the beleaguered former Senate candidate from Alabama, is claiming he’s flat broke and is asking supporters for donations.  No kidding?  Perhaps he should consider getting a real job, instead of spending all his time hanging out at the mall.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Chinese-Fruit-Bat... 450w" sizes="(max-width: 270px) 100vw, 270px" />Study Finds Chinese Fruit Bat Love Oral Sex:  Scientists have discovered that female Chinese fruit bats add oral sex in an attempt to get the males to prolong the act, suggesting the behavior confers evolutionary benefits.  Please correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m sensing all the benefits aren’t simply limited to evolution.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Trade Wars Looming as Trump Bolsters Threats appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Study Finds People Who Use Marijuana Have More Sex

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Joint-768x627.jpg 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Joint-1024x836.jpg 1024w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Joint.jpg 1248w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Study Finds People Who Use Marijuana Have More Sex:  A new study involving more than 50,000 Americans found that people who use marijuana tend to have more sex than those who don’t use the drug.  What a bunch of bull!  Why, after I read this story, I ran right out and smoked a joint and then asked a woman if she’d like to have sex with me and she said “absolutely not!”

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Dyson-Car-768x402... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Dyson-Car-1024x53... 1024w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Dyson Announces Plans to Build Zero-Emissions Vehicle:  British inventor Sir James Dyson is branching out from his bagless vacuum cleaners – announcing plans to spend more than $2.7 billion to build a swoon-worthy, zero-emissions vehicle by 2020 and hiring 400 auto industry veterans.  Well, let’s hope it doesn’t suck.  It’s a good thing he’s hired experienced industry veterans to help him, because let’s face it folks – new cars just aren’t created in a vacuum.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/unnamed-file-768x... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/unnamed-file.jpg 1024w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Study Says 40 Billion Earth-Like Planets in Our Galaxy:  Astronomers at the University of California-Berkeley and the University of Hawaii released a study saying there are likely around 40 billion planets with Earth-like characteristics that could support life in our galaxy.  Yea, and can you just imagine how pissed off they’re gonna be when they learn that only “Earth women” are allowed to be crowned “Miss Universe?”

SaveSave

SaveSave

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Study Finds People Who Use Marijuana Have More Sex appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Today's Featured Hot Topics

Most Popular