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Slug Mucus Glue That Stops Internal Bleeding Created

Slug Mucus Glue That Stops Internal Bleeding Created:  Scientists say a sticky slug mucus has been used to create a glue that can stop internal bleeding by binding biological tissues together – even if they are wet.  So let me get this straight, you’re bleeding internally because you’ve taken a slug from a 45 caliber revolver, and then you’re saved because you’ve taken another slug and used its mucus to stop the bleeding?  Now if you’ll excuse me, I believe its about time for a slug of Jack Daniels.

 

Hannity Denies Spending $42,000 on Lobster at Trump Restaurant:  Conservative Trump booster Sean Hannity is denying a report leaked by a waiter that he blew $42,000 at a Trump restaurant on a 70-year-old lobster which they had flown in from Maine for his dinner.  Anyway, now that that issue has been resolved, time to get back to ranting about all the out-of-touch, Prius-driving, latte-sipping, liberal elites ruining this country.

 

Trump’s New Communications Director Claims Earth is 5,500 Years Old:  In a 2016 CNN interview, President Trump’s controversial new While House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci said he believes climate science is unverified and the Earth is only 5,500 years-old.  I think he may be confusing that date with the era the administration would like to take us back to.

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The post Slug Mucus Glue That Stops Internal Bleeding Created appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trump Bodyguard Frequently Sent on McDonald’s Runs

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Donald-Eating-Fri... 612w" sizes="(max-width: 287px) 100vw, 287px" />Trump Bodyguard Frequently Sent on McDonald’s Runs:  Because the White House kitchen staff often couldn’t match the satisfaction of a quarter-pounder with cheese (no pickles, extra ketchup) and a fried apple pie, Trump bodyguard Keith Schiller was frequently dispatched to head down to the New York Avenue McDonald’s on a stealth fast food run.  So, he has the best chefs in the navy at his disposal – ready to prepare anything he wants 24/7 – and he still prefers McDonald’s?  This poses the question, which comes first – the heart attack or the impeachment?  Luckily for Trump, he’s still gonna have great health insurance – even after the Republicans take it away from the rest of us.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Chinese-Pottery-7... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Chinese-Pottery-1... 1024w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Chinese-Pottery.jpg 1183w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Oldest Known Pottery Found in China:  Archaeologists say pottery fragments found in a south China cave have been confirmed to be 20,000 years old, making them the oldest known pottery in the world.  Scientists caution that while the pottery is historically significant, it shouldn’t be considered microwave safe.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Tampon-Bombers.jpg 400w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Couple Tries to Blow Up Vehicle with Tampons:  A Pennsylvania couple has been charged with attempted arson, public drunkenness, and criminal mischief for attempting to blow up a Ford Fusion by stuffing tampons in the gas tank and motor oil compartment and igniting them.  Police warn that had the couple been successful, the situation could have quickly turned into a blood-bath.

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The post Trump Bodyguard Frequently Sent on McDonald’s Runs appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

FBI Finds 3,178 Embalmed Human Penises in Mortician’s Home

FBI Finds 3,178 Embalmed Human Penises in Mortician’s Home:  After receiving reports of missing organs and body parts, FBI agents raided the residence of a Houston mortician, and were astonished to find 3,178 embalmed human penises.  All I can say is, I don’t care if she has served all her time, it’s NEVER a good idea to allow Lorena Bobbitt to work in a morgue.  Now the big question is, will any of this evidence stand up in court?

 

Trump Adviser Thinks Americans Can Buy a New Car for $1000:  Former Goldman Sachs president and Trump chief economic adviser Gary Cohn claims the typical family who earns $100,000 per year, can expect annual tax savings of approximately $1,000 under the President’s new tax reform plan, which they can use to renovate their kitchen or else buy themselves a new car.  And of course Cohn’s absolutely correct – assuming the Trump Administration can somehow manage to take us back to that era where they all psychologically reside – the glorious 1950’s.

 

Scientists Discovered New Species of Giant Rat:  Scientists, working in the Solomon Islands, have discovered a new species of giant rat – one with teeth so sharp, it can crack a coconut shell.  So, they’ve discovered a new species of giant rat with extremely sharp teeth?  Good grief, after months of nothing but political scandals, earthquakes and hurricane devastation, thank goodness there’s finally some good news.

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The post FBI Finds 3,178 Embalmed Human Penises in Mortician’s Home appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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