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People Freaking Out Over Ivanka Filling in for Trump at G20

People Freaking Out Over Ivanka Filling in for Trump at G20:  Many are accusing Donald Trump of behaving like a banana republic dictator when he left his under-qualified, unelected socialite daughter to fill in for him during a G20 meeting.  While its true Ivanka is in fact unelected, I think it’s blatantly unfair to imply that she, or anyone else for that matter, is less qualified than her father.  On the other hand, I think it’s a pretty safe bet to assume that up until about a week ago, Ivanka thought the G20 was a luxury car made by Infinity Motors.

 

Pay for TGI Friday’s Dinner With Smartphone App:  TGI Friday’s announced that customers can now conveniently pay their checks by using a downloadable app on their iPhone or Android smartphones.  Call me old-fashioned, but I still prefer to pay for bad food by writing a bad check.

 

Financial Institutions Rejecting Porn Industry:  CNBC is reporting that many porn stars and porn execs are having difficulty getting loans and even opening up simple bank accounts.  With no other options available, many are using sperm banks instead.

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The post People Freaking Out Over Ivanka Filling in for Trump at G20 appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Melania Blasts Ivana Trump’s Claim to Be First Lady

Melania Blasts Ivana Trump’s Claim to Be First Lady:  Melania Trump’s spokeswoman slammed President Trump’s ex-wife Ivana as “attention seeking,” after she jokingly referred to herself as the “first lady” on Good Morning America while promoting her new book.

 

Gee, fighting over who’s really the First Lady?  Now I’m not all that good at math, but by my count, Melania is at best – only the “third” lady.  But all kidding aside, I suppose the only real way to settle this once and for all -Trump style – is to arrange for Melania, Ivana and Ivanka to have a mud wrestling contest – with Donald acting as referee.

 

I mean, as if turning the White House into an “adult day care center” wasn’t crazy enough, now we apparently have a soap opera going on there too.  Be sure to tune in next week for the next installment of “Real Housewives of Washington DC – White House Edition.”  I could be wrong, but I suspect Martha Washington never quite saw this coming.

 

And now that we have the ex and the current trophy wife squabbling back and forth in the media, it appears our country’s transition to banana republic is now nearly complete!  Who could’ve imagined that in less than a year, the Trumps would have managed to turn our historic White House into kind of a nouveau riche trailer park?

 

Of course, to be completely honest, it appears America doesn’t really care all that much who he’s married to – I mean, he certainly doesn’t.  And who could have guessed that Marla Maples would turn out to apparently be the most dignified of all the wives?  But now the question remains, if Trump continues his ban on immigrants – how’s he ever gonna fill that position when it finally comes time to find the next trophy wife?  Stay tuned!

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The post Melania Blasts Ivana Trump’s Claim to Be First Lady appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Man Charged With Felony After Pointing Banana at Cops

BananaMan Charged With Felony After Pointing Banana at Cops:  A Colorado man is facing charges of felony menacing after police say he pointed a banana at officers, causing them to believe they were in “imminent danger” from “a deadly weapon.”  Civil libertarians say incidents like this should only happen in a “banana republic.”  By the way – if anyone’s interested – these “deadly weapons” are on sale for 49-cents-a-pound all week long at Safeway.

 

Divorce SettlementAmerican-Born Wife Gets $530 Million in Record British Divorce:  The American-born wife of a London financier has been awarded $530 million in one of the biggest divorce settlements ever seen in a British court.  Sort of brings new urgency to the old song “American woman, stay away from me.”

 

Scam ArtistMichigan Man Jailed on $16,000 Hotel Scam Charges:  A Michigan man is behind bars in western Pennsylvania, accused of conning a resort by pretending to be a doctor, then running off without paying a $16,000 bill for his $500 a night room.  A doctor?  Sounds like he must must have one of those BS degrees.  One thing’s for sure, he’s certainly gonna have plenty of free room and board now.

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The post Man Charged With Felony After Pointing Banana at Cops appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

New York Appeals Court To Weigh Legal Rights Of Chimps

ChimpNew York Appeals Court To Weigh Legal Rights Of Chimps:  A New York appeals court will soon consider whether chimpanzees are entitled to “legal personhood” in what experts say is the first case of its kind, extending rights historically reserved for humans to other intelligent animals.  Critics say the move could end up turning New York into a “Banana Republic.”

 

iPhone 6Some Complaining iPhone 6 Yanks Out Hair:  Social media has exploded with people complaining the new iPhone models are yanking out hair as they remove the device from their face.  On the plus side, while this may not be the best phone I’ve ever had, its certainly turned out to be the closest shave I’ve ever had.

 

Herion PacketsMother Charged After Daughter Brings Heroin to Daycare:  A Delaware mother is under arrest after her four-year-old daughter unknowingly brought roughly 250 packets of heroin to her daycare, and passed them out to classmates thinking they were candy.  When questioned about the incident, the school said they specifically told the mother to provide her child with a “snack,” not smack.

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The post New York Appeals Court To Weigh Legal Rights Of Chimps appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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