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Trump to Donate First-Quarter Salary to National Park Service

Trump to Donate First-Quarter Salary to National Park Service:  White House press secretary Sean Spicer says President Trump has chosen to donate his salary for the first quarter of the year – a total of $78,333 – to the National Park Service.  So he cuts the Department of Interior budget by $1.5 billion and then donates $78k?  I’m no accountant, but that sounds like “Trump change” to me.  Please let us know when the check clears.  I’ve heard the NBA really likes Trump’s checks because they bounce so well.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Pikey-300x300.jpg 300w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Pikey-768x768.jpg 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Pikey-1024x1024.jpg 1024w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" />

Report Says Cases of Pets Ingesting Marijuana Rising:  The LA Times is reporting that incidences of pets ingesting marijuana in pot-friendly states is increasing.  In the midst of this disturbing news, I’m happy to report that my cat Pikey has been clean and sober for nearly three years and is now helping other troubled cats to lead sober lives.

 

Jerry Jones Says NFL Should Drop Marijuana Ban:  Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones told a recent meeting of NFL owners that he believes the league should drop its prohibition on marijuana use.  Mark my words, if you let Jones and the Cowboys implement this policy, pretty soon just about everyone in the NFL will want to be “keeping up with the Joneses.”  And do we really want to replace all the cheerleaders with vending machines on the sidelines?

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The post Trump to Donate First-Quarter Salary to National Park Service appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Santorum Blames Obama for Recent Rise in Anti-Semitic Crimes

Santorum Blames Obama for Recent Rise in Anti-Semitic Crimes:  Conservative CNN contributor Rick Santorum is suggesting that former President Barack Obama is to blame for rising number of anti-Semitic crimes taking place under President Donald Trump.  Because nothing makes more sense than white surpremisist, racist, anti-semites looking to a former African American president like Barack Obama for leadership and guidance.

 

Milo Yiannopoulos Resigns from Breitbart over Pedophilia Remarks:  Rightwing provocateur Milo Yiannopoulos has resigned from Breitbart News over comments he made in support of sex between “young boys” and older men.  Gee, considering that its Breitbart – instead of resigning, you’d think they’d make him a senior editor or something.  Oh wait, he already was.

 

Seven Earthlike Planets Discovered Orbiting Nearby Star:  Researchers announced they’ve found a solar system just 39 light-years away from Earth that contains seven warm, rocky planets in orbit around a red dwarf star.  Thirty-nine light years away?  Fantastic news!  Sounds like we’ve found yet another outpost to spread our “western democracy.”  On the other hand, theoretically they’ll soon be receiving the first season of “Jersey Shore.”  Expect Earth to be declared an enemy planet full of “bad hombres.”

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The post Santorum Blames Obama for Recent Rise in Anti-Semitic Crimes appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Lindsay Lohan Says We Need to Support Trump

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Lindsay-Lohan-300... 300w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Lindsay-Lohan.jpeg 630w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" />Lindsay Lohan Says We Need to Support Trump:  In an interview with the Daily Mail, Lindsay Lohan says she thinks its about time for people to support President Trump.  You know, when you think about all the craziness out there such as a world full of alternative facts, the hundreds of millions of illegal aliens who voted for Hillary Clinton and the horrific Bowling Green Massacre, its refreshing to hear the voices of sanity like Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen, Gary Busey, Stephen Baldwin and Dennis Rodman – reminding us about how important it is that we support our president.

 

Crocodile Bites Off Part of Man’s Testicle:  A 70-year-old man from Zimbabwe narrowly escaped a crocodile attack as he crossed the Chivake River with his pants off – but he lost part of his testicle in the melee.  Crossing a crocodile-infested river with no pants on?  That really took some balls to do that!

 

Melania Trump Reportedly Unhappy with New Role as First Lady:  Its being reported that First Lady Melania Trump is extremely unhappy with the turn her life has taken since her husband was elected President of the United States.  On a positive note, its beginning to appear she may not have to put up with this misery very much longer.  Till then, she has access to all the Trump Vodka she wants.

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The post Lindsay Lohan Says We Need to Support Trump appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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Ivanka Trump Given West Wing Office and Access to Classified Info

Ivanka Trump Given West Wing Office and Access to Classified Info:  According to sources, Ivanka Trump now has a West Wing office and will get a security clearance giving her access to classified information – cementing her role as a powerful White House influence – even though she’s technically not serving as a government employee.

 

Wow – with her husband already a senior presidential adviser, sounds like the Trumps have really hit pay dirt!  Of course, way back in the day, we’d be referring to all of them as a crime family – but of course the is a Brave New World.  While its not formally written into law, I believe the tradition is that if she remains on the job long enough, she may eventually have to change her name to Ivanka Jong Un.  Is it just me or does it appear that Trump actually believes his family will inherit the United States when he dies?

 

Now the big question is, what role will she assume  – Secretary of Textiles, Clothing and Costume Jewelry?  Or perhaps she’ll become the President’s “Primary Care Giver.”  Meanwhile, it looks as if we’re finally at the point where about the only appointments left to be made are making Tiffany Trump Secretary of Blogging and Leisure Travel and of course Dennis Rodman Ambassador to North Korea.

 

Anyway, my suggestion is grab yourself a beer or a glass of wine, buckle up and get ready for the first season of the all new reality show “The First Family.”

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The post Ivanka Trump Given West Wing Office and Access to Classified Info appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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