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White House Admits Trump Weighed In on Son’s Misleading Statement

White House Admits Trump Weighed In on Son’s Misleading Statement:  White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders admitted that President Trump “weighed in” on the misleading statement issued by his son, but denied that the President dictated his son’s statement.  Hell, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that if you want Trump to own up to writing the statement, all you have to do is tell him it was “brilliantly written.”

 

NASA Hiring Planetary Protection Officer to Defend Earth from Aliens:  NASA is seeking to hire a full-time “planetary protection officer,” a job which pays $187,000 and will involve ensuring that humans in space do not contaminate planets and moons, as well as ensuring alien matter does not infect the Earth.  My question is, how would you measure job performance on a gig like that?  Anyway, I understand Randy Quaid is looking for a job.  Just hand him a lightsaber and set him loose.

 

Kanye West Sues Lloyd’s Over Canceled Tour Insurance:  Rapper Kanye West has filed a $10 million lawsuit against Lloyd’s of London, alleging that Lloyd’s is withholding paying out claims from the rapper’s canceled Saint Pablo tour which was abruptly ended after West began delivering bizarre rants about Jay-Z, Beyoncé and then-president-elect Donald Trump before finally checking into a UCLA psychiatric facility.  The way I look at it, Lloyd’s actually insured Kanye West?  Now you tell me who’s crazy.

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The post White House Admits Trump Weighed In on Son’s Misleading Statement appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Melania Trump Will Not Move Into The White House in January

melania-trumpMelania Trump Will Not Move Into The White House in January:  President-elect Donald Trump has conformed that his wife Melania and their 10-year-old son Barron will remain in New York and not move into the White House after her husband takes office in January.  I get that.  You can’t expect her have to crap in a toilet that’s not made of gold.  We wouldn’t want any of the Trumps inconvenienced by the presidency.  Hell, with any luck, Trump won’t be moving into the White House either.  On the other hand, now he’ll be free to staff the White House with Ukrainian strippers.  The possibilities are endless.

 

kanye-westAngry Fans To Get Refunds After Disastrous Kanye West Show:  Ticketmaster has agreed to refund ticket money for fans who felt ripped-off after a disastrous Kanye West concert in which he showed up 90 minutes late, only performed three songs before going into a rant about how Beyoncé “hurt” him and leaving the stage.  Refunds are nice, but if you seriously don’t like being ripped-off, I’d suggest not shelling out $350 for a Kanye West concert in the first place.

 

jerry-falwell-jrJerry Falwell, Jr. Meets with Trump About Dept. of Education Position:  Creationist and climate change denier Jerry Falwell Jr. told local media that he and Donald Trump have met at Trump Tower to discuss the U.S. Department of Education and Falwell’s potential role.  Perfect choice!  I guess the only thing left to do now is appoint “Ark Encounter” operator Ken Ham as Secretary of the Navy.

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The post Melania Trump Will Not Move Into The White House in January appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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