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Pastors Say God Punishing Texas for Not Passing Anti-Trans Bathroom Bill

Pastors Say God Punishing Texas for Not Passing Anti-Trans Bathroom Bill:  Several pastors this week have been claiming Hurricane Harvey is God’s way of punishing Houston for not passing an Anti-Trans Bathroom Bill and for having “a very, very aggressively pro-homosexual mayor.”  Wait a minute – Canada passed laws protecting gay and trans rights.  Makes you wonder, what the hell does Canada need to do to get noticed by the almighty?

 

Kim Kardashian Says Daughter Would Make Better President:  In a new interview with Harper’s Bazaar Arabia, reality star Kim Kardashian expressed strong feelings about Donald Trump’s presidency, claiming that her daughter would make a better president.  Political experts say that while that statement is basically true, her daughter’s presidency would not be valid for the entire country, but only the North West.

 

Four Earth-sized Exoplanets May Have Large Quantities of Water:  Scientists say four of seven mysterious worlds orbiting a nearby star named Trappist-1, might very well have large quantities of water, offering a tantalizing boost to the possibility of finding life beyond our solar system.  I’m not so sure about the alien life, but this sure sounds like great news for bottled water companies as well as those who enjoy taking long showers.  As for me, I think I’ll just stay here on Earth.  I tend to get bored on long trips, especially the ones that take over 159,000 years.

 

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The post Pastors Say God Punishing Texas for Not Passing Anti-Trans Bathroom Bill appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trump Suggests He Be Given Equal Time in Late Night Talk

Trump Suggests He Be Given Equal Time in Late Night Talk:  In an early morning tweet, President Trump suggested that late night hosts are plotting with the Democrats against him by making anti-Trump jokes and that he should be given equal time.  Well, I don’t know about equal time, but at least he should be given a cut.  After all, he does provide all the material.

 

Hidden Camera Captures Florida Man Having Sex With Dog:  Police have arrested a Florida man after his new roommate caught him having sex with his dog on a hidden camera.  The dog owner told police that the safest thing is, every time he’d come home and his new roommate would tell him he’d been “in the Lab all day,” he just assumed that meant he was a research scientist.

 

Brooklyn Man Claims PTSD After Toilet Explosion:  A 58-year-old Brooklyn man is suing his apartment management company, claiming PTSD after his new toilet bowl exploded, sending shrapnel into his face and requiring 30 stitches that left a large scar.  Now I realize all of this may seem really funny to some of you, until you realize that another fellow human being actually required 30 stitches in his face as a result of an exploding toilet – no wait, I take that back – it is still funny.

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The post Trump Suggests He Be Given Equal Time in Late Night Talk appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Santorum Blames Obama for Recent Rise in Anti-Semitic Crimes

Santorum Blames Obama for Recent Rise in Anti-Semitic Crimes:  Conservative CNN contributor Rick Santorum is suggesting that former President Barack Obama is to blame for rising number of anti-Semitic crimes taking place under President Donald Trump.  Because nothing makes more sense than white surpremisist, racist, anti-semites looking to a former African American president like Barack Obama for leadership and guidance.

 

Milo Yiannopoulos Resigns from Breitbart over Pedophilia Remarks:  Rightwing provocateur Milo Yiannopoulos has resigned from Breitbart News over comments he made in support of sex between “young boys” and older men.  Gee, considering that its Breitbart – instead of resigning, you’d think they’d make him a senior editor or something.  Oh wait, he already was.

 

Seven Earthlike Planets Discovered Orbiting Nearby Star:  Researchers announced they’ve found a solar system just 39 light-years away from Earth that contains seven warm, rocky planets in orbit around a red dwarf star.  Thirty-nine light years away?  Fantastic news!  Sounds like we’ve found yet another outpost to spread our “western democracy.”  On the other hand, theoretically they’ll soon be receiving the first season of “Jersey Shore.”  Expect Earth to be declared an enemy planet full of “bad hombres.”

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The post Santorum Blames Obama for Recent Rise in Anti-Semitic Crimes appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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PizzeriaOwner of Mob-Linked NYC Pizza Shop Fatally Shot:  Police report that the co-owner of a famed mod-linked, Brooklyn pizza joint – once at the epicenter of a mob war over the theft of a pizza sauce recipe – has been gunned down by a man in his 30s wearing a hoodie in what is believed to have been a mob hit.

 

Wow, they killed the pizza guy over a sauce recipe?  It must have been a real “killer sauce.”  Oh well, another one bites the crust.  And the poor man was shot by a guy wearing a hoodie?  Apparently Armani suits are now a thing of the past.  Police are debating whether to categorize this as a hit, or workplace violence.

 

One thing’s for sure, the Mafia appears to have a different definition of “take out service” than the rest of us.  And with today’s technology – wise guys can simply use an app to order a hit along with their deep dish, double pepperoni-cheese pizza order.  How convenient is that?  Anyway, it’s not personal, it’s just business.  You know how it is, “live by the pizza, die by the pizza.”  Probably another mob family just wanted a pizza the action.

 

Now, the only question is, how long can it be before Trump puts the blame the Clintons?

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The post appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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