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New Berkeley Study Explains Why Shoelaces Come Undone

New Berkeley Study Explains Why Shoelaces Come Undone:  After numerous tests run on a treadmill, a UC Berkeley professor of mechanical engineering determined that the combination of banging a leg up and down and jerking it forward is primarily responsible for our shoelaces continually becoming untied.  Oh yea, I’ve heard about that study.  I believe its called “String Theory.”  If you ask me, the solution to this is simple.  Instead of using regular shoelaces, try lacing your shoes with the wire attached to your earbuds.  Hell, once they’re knotted up, its virtually impossible to undo them.  Personally, I prefer loafers because I’m just knot into lacing up my shoes.

 

Study Finds Cats Choose Human Company over Treats and Toys:  In a surprising new study out of Oregon State, researchers found that house cats and shelter cats actually tended to prefer human company over treats or toys.  While cat lovers applauded the finding, dog lovers are claiming the study is littered with errors.

 

Indigenous Panamanian Tribe Values Big Noses:  Anthropologists say the San Blas Indians of Panama value large noses – believing that an enormous nose is the mark of a “great leader.”  Yea, well that’s all fine until one those “great leaders” decides to stick their enormous nose in all of our business.

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The post New Berkeley Study Explains Why Shoelaces Come Undone appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Ivanka Claims She Doesn’t Know What Complicit Means

Ivanka Claims She Doesn’t Know What Complicit Means:  After critics accused her of being “complicit” in her father’s decisions, Ivanka Trump claimed in a recent CBS interview that she “doesn’t even know what it means to be complicit.”  My first reaction was “gee, you’d think a billionaire family could afford to have a decent dictionary lying around,” but then it occurred to me that given the fact this is the Trumps, they’ve probably concluded somewhere down the line that dictionaries contain too many “fake words.”

 

Payless Announces Closing of 400 Stores:  Payless ShoeSource Inc. is closing about 400 of its stores, nearly 50 of them in California, as the shoe chain reorganizes its business after filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection.  Fortunately, in their place, a new, upscale chain of Pay-Through-the-Teeth stores is expected take up occupancy in the vacated buildings.

 

Administration Concedes Border Wall Won’t Cover Entire Border:  Homeland Security Secretary John Kelly told a Senate committee that he doesn’t expect construction of Donald Trump’s promised “big, beautiful wall” to actually run the full length of the U.S.-Mexico border – marking the abandonment of one of Trump’s central campaign promises.  I get it, I mean, ”who could have known building a border wall could be so complicated?”  I got an idea, why not just let him build a commemorative 30’ x 10’ wall near the Tijuana border, then place a statue of President Trump in front of it and call it a day?  Maybe you could even get South Dakota to pay for it – although the way things have been going lately, the President of South Dakota would probably refuse to pay for it too.

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The post Ivanka Claims She Doesn’t Know What Complicit Means appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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