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Pence Strongly Denies Shadow 2020 Presidential Bid

Pence Strongly Denies Shadow 2020 Presidential Bid:  Vice President Mike Pence is calling a New York Times report that says he’s quietly laying the groundwork for a possible presidential run in 2020 “laughable and absurd.”  Guess that may explain why Trump’s been feeling a bit “pensive” lately.  But come on, this story is just plain nonsense.  Everyone knows Pence will be President by 2018.  Fun Fact – Pence will become our first President since the 19th century who actually believes that it’s the storks who deliver babies.

 

Large-Toothed Fish Found in Nevada Chomped Prey Like Sharks:  A fossil found in northeastern Nevada shows a newly discovered fish species that scientists believe both looked and ate like a shark.  In other words, its table manners left plenty to be desired.

 

Trump Spokesperson Wants No Non-English Speakers:  Former Trump campaign spokesperson Katrina Pierson lashed out at CNN correspondent Jim Acosta who questioned White House policy that aims to prohibit non-English speaking legal immigrants, saying that she finds it “unfortunate that Jim Acosta would want non-English speakers to come to this country.”  Well then, perhaps Republicans should focus on teaching Trump how to speak English – even though he has all the best words – they certainly aren’t English (bigly, covfefe, braggadocio, yuge).

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The post Pence Strongly Denies Shadow 2020 Presidential Bid appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Slug Mucus Glue That Stops Internal Bleeding Created

Slug Mucus Glue That Stops Internal Bleeding Created:  Scientists say a sticky slug mucus has been used to create a glue that can stop internal bleeding by binding biological tissues together – even if they are wet.  So let me get this straight, you’re bleeding internally because you’ve taken a slug from a 45 caliber revolver, and then you’re saved because you’ve taken another slug and used its mucus to stop the bleeding?  Now if you’ll excuse me, I believe its about time for a slug of Jack Daniels.

 

Hannity Denies Spending $42,000 on Lobster at Trump Restaurant:  Conservative Trump booster Sean Hannity is denying a report leaked by a waiter that he blew $42,000 at a Trump restaurant on a 70-year-old lobster which they had flown in from Maine for his dinner.  Anyway, now that that issue has been resolved, time to get back to ranting about all the out-of-touch, Prius-driving, latte-sipping, liberal elites ruining this country.

 

Trump’s New Communications Director Claims Earth is 5,500 Years Old:  In a 2016 CNN interview, President Trump’s controversial new While House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci said he believes climate science is unverified and the Earth is only 5,500 years-old.  I think he may be confusing that date with the era the administration would like to take us back to.

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The post Slug Mucus Glue That Stops Internal Bleeding Created appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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