Tuesday , 23 May 2017
News Alert!
  • Welcome to our new mobile friendly theme!
  • Try clicking on a comedian's picture in their joke or video!
  • Check out our awesome sharing options!
  • Click on the topic picture in a joke or video for more on that topic
  • Youtube import is working again!
Home > Jokes >

California

How Recent: 3 Months
Staff Picks
My Comics
Show Everyting

Apple to Test Self-Driving Vehicles in California

Apple to Test Self-Driving Vehicles in California:  Ending years of speculation, Apple’s late entry into a crowded field was made official with the disclosure that the California Department of Motor Vehicles has awarded a permit for the company to start testing its self-driving car technology on public roads in the state.

 

Of course knowing Apple, you still won’t be able to actually use the car until you’ve read and agreed to the 380-page user agreement.  All I can say is – we’d better hope they’re not planning on using Apple Maps for directions.  It’s 2017 and Siri still tries to send me across the Atlantic when I’m just trying to get to the market down the street.

 

I’m still trying to imagine a conversation between Siri and a state trooper if the car ever gets pulled over.  Hell, Siri’ll be likely if it doesn’t get tasered.  And it would be my luck the car would stop moving just as soon as a phone call comes in.  Or you get an error message like this:  ”Recommended software update 2.0.3 – fixes a problem where windshield wipers activate instead of brakes being applied under certain road conditions.”  And of course, the big question is, would an Apple Car have Windows?

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Apple to Test Self-Driving Vehicles in California appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
Laugh Blast!
jokes and videos in your inbox

Site Tip!

Did you know that we have thousands of comedy topics? You can click on the large topic image in a joke or video for more hilarity on that subject or use the search to find what you are looking for.

Site Tip!

Did you know that all these joke and video posts are really comedian trading cards? Try clicking on a comedian's picture in their post and watch the magic.

North Korea Accuses CIA of Biochemical Plot to Kill Kim Jong-un

North Korea Accuses CIA of Biochemical Plot to Kill Kim Jong-un:  North Korea is accusing the CIA  and South Korea of attempting to assassinate Kim Jong-un with unspecified biochemical substances during a public ceremonial event in the capital of Pyongyang.  Hell, no need to send someone to assassinate Kim.  Just book him on a United flight.

 

Study Finds Botox Could Help Treat Depression:  A California study found those who used the anti-wrinkle agent Botox had lower rates of depression.  One thing’s for sure, you’re never gonna be able to tell if they’re depressed by the expression on their face.

 

Music Teacher Caught Selling Tubas for Heroin:  A Nunda, N.Y. music teacher pulled over by police with a tuba in her backseat admitted to stealing more than 50 instruments from her school district and selling them to buy heroin.  Wow, this woman’s life has gone right down the tubas.  Now, she’ll have to face the music.

 

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post North Korea Accuses CIA of Biochemical Plot to Kill Kim Jong-un appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Smashed Mastodon Bones Suggest Humans Arrived 100,000 Years Earlier

Smashed Mastodon Bones Suggest Humans Arrived 100,000 Years Earlier:  Close inspection of 130,000-year-old broken mastodon femur bones found at a freeway excavation in California have led some researchers to the controversial conclusion that humans were responsible for killing the animal, which would mean humans arrived in North America over 100,000 years earlier than was previously thought.

 

Now I’m no paleontologist, but I can’t help but wonder if the mastodon’s bones may have actually been broken in a car crash?  After all, California has LONG been known as a “car culture” and if some mastodon was involved in a collision with an automobile, then it seems pretty obvious humans were already here.  But geez, 130,000 years ago?  Do you have any idea how cheap property in California would have been back then?  If that date is correct, and if these people were smart investors, they could have gotten in at the ground floor with their real estate portfolios.

 

Anyway, if I were in charge of this archeological site, the first thing I would do is search the area to see if any of these people happened to have left a diary behind?  That would quickly clear up any questions regarding the time frame – that is, assuming the entries in the diary were dated properly – you know – like “Monday, June 9th, 128,000 BC.”  Of course its always important to point out that before anyone takes an article like this at face value, its always a good idea to first check with a reputable scientific journal like Breitbart, just to make certain the story is credible.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Smashed Mastodon Bones Suggest Humans Arrived 100,000 Years Earlier appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Today's Featured Hot Topics

Most Popular