Monday , 24 April 2017
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Trump Says He Has Total Confidence in Jeff Sessions

Trump Says He Has Total Confidence in Jeff Sessions:  Amid reports that Attorney General Jeff Sessions had talks with Russia’s ambassador to the U.S. without disclosing it during his confirmation hearing, President Donald Trump said he wants to make it perfectly clear that he has “total confidence” in the Attorney General.  To further reinforce the point, an Administration spokesperson added that “not only does our President have the upmost confidence in Sessions, so does Russian President Vladimir Putin.”

 

NASA Considers Magnetic Shield to Help Mars Grow an Atmosphere:  NASA Planetary Science Division Director Jim Green says the agency is considering launching a magnetic shield towards Mars which could help warm the red planet and possibly allow it to become more habitable.  NASA says they believe the least costly way to accomplish this would most likely be to launch tens of thousands of refrigerators with magnets already attached to the doors in a massive rocket which would then robotically unload and set them upright on the surface of the red planet.  An added benefit would be notes could be attached under the magnets on the refrigerator doors which could provide future colonizers with useful and fun facts about the red planet once the planet became habitable again.

 

Caterpillar Headquarters Raided by the Feds:  Caterpillar has confirmed that Federal agents arrived at their global headquarters and began seizing documents and electronic records concerning its relationships with U.S. and non-U.S. subsidiaries.  Federal agents report no one at Caterpillar would talk to them during the raid prompting agents to ask “what’s the matter, Cat’s got your tongue?”  Anyway, its kind of sad to see this happen to such an iconic company so Deere to all of our hearts.

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The post Trump Says He Has Total Confidence in Jeff Sessions appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Trump to Donate First-Quarter Salary to National Park Service

Trump to Donate First-Quarter Salary to National Park Service:  White House press secretary Sean Spicer says President Trump has chosen to donate his salary for the first quarter of the year – a total of $78,333 – to the National Park Service.  So he cuts the Department of Interior budget by $1.5 billion and then donates $78k?  I’m no accountant, but that sounds like “Trump change” to me.  Please let us know when the check clears.  I’ve heard the NBA really likes Trump’s checks because they bounce so well.

 

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Report Says Cases of Pets Ingesting Marijuana Rising:  The LA Times is reporting that incidences of pets ingesting marijuana in pot-friendly states is increasing.  In the midst of this disturbing news, I’m happy to report that my cat Pikey has been clean and sober for nearly three years and is now helping other troubled cats to lead sober lives.

 

Jerry Jones Says NFL Should Drop Marijuana Ban:  Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones told a recent meeting of NFL owners that he believes the league should drop its prohibition on marijuana use.  Mark my words, if you let Jones and the Cowboys implement this policy, pretty soon just about everyone in the NFL will want to be “keeping up with the Joneses.”  And do we really want to replace all the cheerleaders with vending machines on the sidelines?

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The post Trump to Donate First-Quarter Salary to National Park Service appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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Bill O’Reilly Out at Fox News

Bill O’Reilly Out at Fox News:  Fox News announced it has ended its association with Bill O’Reilly, the combative TV host and commentator who has ruled cable-news ratings for nearly two decades and was the signature figure in the network’s rise as a powerful political player.  Sounds like Bill O’Reilly is no longer a Factor – he’s entered the “No Job Zone.”

 

Brain Enters Higher State of Consciousness on LSD:  A new study found that psychedelic drugs such as magic mushrooms, ketamine, psilocybin and LSD cause the brain to enter a “higher state of consciousness.”  Unfortunately, my “higher state of consciousness” turns out to be paranoia.  The good news is these drugs are completely safe for everyone.  My cat just told me so.

 

United CEO Calls Dragging Incident a Learning Experience:  Calling it a “learning experience” for all of us here at United, United Airlines CEO Oscar Munoz apologized to shareholders for forcibly dragging a passenger off one of its planes.  Oh, I think you could call it a “learning experience” for most of us in the traveling public too.  On a positive note, at least they didn’t force the poor guy to parachute out of the plane.

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The post Bill O’Reilly Out at Fox News appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trump Urges Everyone to Read Book with No Words

Trump Urges Everyone to Read Book with No Words:  In an early morning tweet, President Trump urged all Americans to read Michael J. Knowles’ Amazon bestseller “Reasons to Vote for Democrats,” a satirical book that contains nothing but 260 blank pages.  No doubt the book is at the top of Betsy DeVos’ reading list.  Actually, its a great read for Trump people, because you can just make up your own stories.  When asked if he actually read the book, Trump admitted he hadn’t, but said he did read the CliffNotes.  Trump added that his only complaint about the book was that there weren’t enough pictures in it.

 

Grumpy Cat Has $100 Million Net Worth:  The Internet’s most notorious feline Grumpy Cat is said to have a net worth of over $100 million – all earned from appearances, movies, modeling, ads and book deals.  For other cat owners who hope to make that kind of money off their cats, its important to remember that “all that’s litter is not gold.”

 

Study Finds Younger Millennials Want Stay-at-Home Wives:  A new study found that fewer of the youngest millennials, those aged 18 to 25, support egalitarian family arrangements than did the same age group 20 years earlier.  The only issue is – having a stay-at-home wife can get a little complicated when you’re still living in your parent’s basement.

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The post Trump Urges Everyone to Read Book with No Words appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

New Berkeley Study Explains Why Shoelaces Come Undone

New Berkeley Study Explains Why Shoelaces Come Undone:  After numerous tests run on a treadmill, a UC Berkeley professor of mechanical engineering determined that the combination of banging a leg up and down and jerking it forward is primarily responsible for our shoelaces continually becoming untied.  Oh yea, I’ve heard about that study.  I believe its called “String Theory.”  If you ask me, the solution to this is simple.  Instead of using regular shoelaces, try lacing your shoes with the wire attached to your earbuds.  Hell, once they’re knotted up, its virtually impossible to undo them.  Personally, I prefer loafers because I’m just knot into lacing up my shoes.

 

Study Finds Cats Choose Human Company over Treats and Toys:  In a surprising new study out of Oregon State, researchers found that house cats and shelter cats actually tended to prefer human company over treats or toys.  While cat lovers applauded the finding, dog lovers are claiming the study is littered with errors.

 

Indigenous Panamanian Tribe Values Big Noses:  Anthropologists say the San Blas Indians of Panama value large noses – believing that an enormous nose is the mark of a “great leader.”  Yea, well that’s all fine until one those “great leaders” decides to stick their enormous nose in all of our business.

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The post New Berkeley Study Explains Why Shoelaces Come Undone appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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