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Man Sues His Date for Texting During a Movie

Man Sues His Date for Texting During a Movie:  A Texas man is suing the date he met online for the $17.31 movie ticket price because she was texting while during a showing of Guardians of the Galaxy at a local Austin theater.  The woman’s defense is that if President Trump can conduct US foreign policy on his cellphone and Twitter, why shouldn’t she be able to text during a Guardians of the Galaxy movie?

 

Scientists Say Babies From Skin Cells Will Soon Be Possible:  Researchers say that within a decade or two, they will likely be able to create a baby from human skin cells that have been coaxed to grow into eggs and sperm and used to create embryos to implant in a womb.  While this may be controversial to some, its no skin off my back.  Besides, creating more babies makes a lot of sense when you consider how dangerously underpopulated the world is.

 

Study Says Women Find Men with Beards More Attractive:  A new study published in the Journal of Evolutionary Biology found that females find men with facial hair and beards more attractive than men without.  Hell, no wonder those Al-Qaeda guys are such babe-magnets.

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The post Man Sues His Date for Texting During a Movie appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Massive Malware Attack Disables Millions of Computers Worldwide

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Cyber-Crime.jpg 300w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" />Massive Malware Attack Disables Millions of Computers Worldwide:  Hackers have unleashed a devastating global malware attack, based upon a software flaw that once was part of the US National Security Agency’s (NSA) surveillance tool kit, to disable millions of computers in over a hundred countries, snarling operations at the Russian Interior Ministry, Spanish telecommunications giant Telefónica and Britain’s National Health Service (NHS), where hospitals were hobbled and medical procedures interrupted.

 

All I can say is, its a damn good thing President Trump had the foresight to appoint Rudy Giuliani to monitor US cyber security a couple of months ago…he certainly seems to be up to that task and attacks like this will become basically nonexistent now that he’s on the job.

 

In the meantime, aides promise the President does plan to address the issue, just as soon as he’s finished tweeting about Stephen Colbert and Rosie O’Donnell.  Anonymous sources within the White House also report the President became furious after logging into his own personal computer and getting an error message reading “your brain has been hacked and appears to be running some very mentally catastrophic malware!”  He demanded to know why he can’t just fire the malware like he used to do with contestants on “Celebrity Apprentice.”

 

In a strong show of determination, Trump spokesperson Kellyanne Conway, appearing on CNN, promised that someone will be held responsible for this cyber attack – be it the Girl Scouts, the LGBT community or illegal immigrants and their children, we’re gonna hold someone responsible.  Meanwhile, until the issue is resolved, White House IT security technicians are recommending computer users hang a string of garlic cloves over their computer screens – just to be on the safe side!

 

Now, an almost unimaginable scenario has arisen, and that is what would happen to millennials if their computers, tablets and smartphones become infected and they lose access to texting and all social media?  An almost unfathomable consequence could arise, they may be forced to end up speaking to one another face-to-face.  Oh – the horror!

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The post Massive Malware Attack Disables Millions of Computers Worldwide appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Facebook to Add 3,000 Moderators in Wake of Murders

Facebook to Add 3,000 Moderators in Wake of Murders:  Following outrage over recent broadcasts of murders, shootings, rapes and assaults – streamed live on Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg announced that the social network will add 3000 additional people to monitor the situation more closely.  Excuse my skepticism, but this just sounds like the murders and assaults are now have 3000 more viewers.

 

Epilepsy Drug Helps Addicts Kick Cocaine Habit:  A new study reports that an epilepsy drug is helping addicts kick the cocaine habit.  Wow, this sounds like a new take on “kicking the habit.”

 

Bieber Ringtone Saves Russian Fisherman From Bear Attack:  A 42-year-old Russian fisherman says he was attacked from behind by a brown bear and that the only thing that saved him was his ringtone of Justin Bieber’s hit song “Baby” suddenly went off, startling the bear and causing it to run away.  There you have it, conclusive proof the Bieber’s music is simply “unbearable.”

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The post Facebook to Add 3,000 Moderators in Wake of Murders appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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