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Trump Wants to Put Humans on Mars in Three Years

Trump Wants to Put Humans on Mars in Three Years:  Unsatisfied with Nasa’s current plans to get humans on the Red Planet sometime in the 2030s, President Trump announced he wants people on Mars by the end of his first term, in three-and-a-half years.  Wonder if Trump realizes that Mars is know as the “Red Planet,” not the “Orange Planet?”  The way things are going, Trump would spend billions of our tax dollars sending people to Mars and as soon as they land, the first thing they see is a Yuge statue of Kim Jong Un.

 

Elderly Man Spray Painting “No Kids” in Seniors-Only Community:  Police now suspect it was another elderly man who behind the spray painting of a 63-year-old Florida man’s car in a seniors-only gated community with the message “NO KIDS,” after the man babysitted his 4-year-old granddaughter a couple of times.  Every time I hear about people committing crimes like this – I can’t help but think “where are parents?”

 

Chocolate Consumption Linked to Nobel Prizes:  A new study has found that countries with the highest consumption of chocolate also have the most Nobel Prize winners.  I don’t buy it.  I mean, simple logic tells you that if there really was a relationship between chocolate consumption and the Nobel Prize, wouldn’t nearly all Nobel Prizes be awarded to women?

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The post Trump Wants to Put Humans on Mars in Three Years appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Club Cited for Numerous Serious Food Safety Violations

Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Club Cited for Numerous Serious Food Safety Violations:  Donald Trump’s exclusive Palm Beach Mar-a-Lago, country club where he has been routinely entertaining world leaders with dinner and diplomacy, has just been cited again for a number of serious food safety violations by restaurant inspectors, making it whopping 78 health violations in the last 3 years.

 

Uh-oh, sounds we’ve got ourselves another swamp that needs to be drained.  In his defense, who knew running a resort could be so complicated?  I mean what do they expect for a $200,000 membership and $100+ meals?  Food safety too?  Hell, any more safety violations and they may as well go ahead and shoot the next season of “Survivor” right there on location at Mar-A-Lago restaurant.

 

What the hell!  Did Trump University open up a culinary school?  Anyway, guess that pretty much explains why Trump always orders his steaks well done.  “Waiter – I’ll have the Sushi-Salmonella.  And is it possible to get the hair on the side please?”  I joke, but its all part of the President’s grand plan to “Make America GAG Again!”

 

And rumor has it Chinese President Xi Jinping was none too happy about being charged à la carte when he dined there.  They must be using some of those “alternative” food safety practices.  Ah – but no problem, taxpayers’ll pick up the tab to get the facility compliant.

 

One thing’s for sure, when voters in Florida say “Trump makes me sick,” they mean it literally.  I mean, why bother dropping bombs on Syria when you can just invite Bashar al-Assad over for dinner?  I hear the Mar-a-Lago “Death by Chocolate” is to die for.

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The post Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Club Cited for Numerous Serious Food Safety Violations appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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