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Trump Wants to Put Humans on Mars in Three Years

Trump Wants to Put Humans on Mars in Three Years:  Unsatisfied with Nasa’s current plans to get humans on the Red Planet sometime in the 2030s, President Trump announced he wants people on Mars by the end of his first term, in three-and-a-half years.  Wonder if Trump realizes that Mars is know as the “Red Planet,” not the “Orange Planet?”  The way things are going, Trump would spend billions of our tax dollars sending people to Mars and as soon as they land, the first thing they see is a Yuge statue of Kim Jong Un.

 

Elderly Man Spray Painting “No Kids” in Seniors-Only Community:  Police now suspect it was another elderly man who behind the spray painting of a 63-year-old Florida man’s car in a seniors-only gated community with the message “NO KIDS,” after the man babysitted his 4-year-old granddaughter a couple of times.  Every time I hear about people committing crimes like this – I can’t help but think “where are parents?”

 

Chocolate Consumption Linked to Nobel Prizes:  A new study has found that countries with the highest consumption of chocolate also have the most Nobel Prize winners.  I don’t buy it.  I mean, simple logic tells you that if there really was a relationship between chocolate consumption and the Nobel Prize, wouldn’t nearly all Nobel Prizes be awarded to women?

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The post Trump Wants to Put Humans on Mars in Three Years appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Many Americans Believe Chocolate Milk Comes from Brown Cows

Many Americans Believe Chocolate Milk Comes from Brown Cows:  According to a recent survey, seven percent of all Americans believe chocolate milk comes from brown cows, with yet another 48 percent having no idea where chocolate milk comes from at all.

 

Gee, talk about your basic “how now brown cow!”  Actually, I’m not surprised 7 percent of Americans are this stupid,  I follow elections.  Frankly, I’m more concerned that the people working in Trump’s USDA believe this is where chocolate milk comes from.

 

Of course researchers are quick to point out that many people living in the US are “agriculturally illiterate” these days, however, its my opinion that people who actually believe chocolate milk comes from brown cows are not really “agriculturally illiterate,” they’re frigg’n morons.

 

Good grief, I don’t even wanna ask where these people think whipped cream comes from.  I mean, by this logic – powdered milk must come from dehydrated cows, while sour cream comes from angry, bitter, pissed off cows.  I wonder where these folks think babies come from?  Never mind, I’m sure they’ll say “condom malfunctions.”  Anyway, one thing’s for sure, after reading this – I’ll never look at chocolate milk the same way again.

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The post Many Americans Believe Chocolate Milk Comes from Brown Cows appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Bill Cosby’s Assault Trial Winding Down

Bill Cosby’s Assault Trial Winding Down:  During his assault trail, Bill Cosby accuser Andrea Constand became extremely emotional during her testimony describing her sexual encounter with the comedian.  Deeply moved by such an emotional display, Mr Cosby offered that he may have something that could help calm her down and to let him know if she needed it.

 

Corey Lewandowski Claims Comey Part of The Deep State:  When former Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America to discuss former FBI Director James B. Comey’s recent senate testimony, he claimed that Comey is part of what right-wing conspiracy theorists often refer to as “Deep State.”  Perhaps, but I think I’d rather be in a “Deep State” than a state of “Deep Shit” like Trump and his crew.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/Chocolate-300x300... 300w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/Chocolate.jpg 500w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" />Russian Mobsters Trafficked 10K Pounds Of Chocolate:  Sources say 33 members of a New York City-based Russian crime group have been charged with racketeering, murder for hire and crimes including trafficking 10 thousand pounds of stolen chocolate.  Now, those thugs can expect to spend some time behind bars.  Unfortunately, in this case – we’re talking chocolate bars.

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The post Bill Cosby’s Assault Trial Winding Down appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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Trump Pushes His Way to the Front of NATO Leaders

Trump Pushes His Way to the Front of NATO Leaders:  People around the world are expressing shock at how US President Donald Trump appears to shove Montenegro Prime Minister Dusko Marković out of the way in order to get to the front of the line during a tour of the NATO Headquarters.  OK, but in his defense, he may have thought it was the lunch line.

 

Cosmo Survey Probes the Popularity of Porn:  A new survey by Cosmopolitan Magazine found that over 30% of men say they watch porn every day and a whopping 71% say they watch porn at least once a month.  Good grief, if you want to watch gorgeous women using really nasty language, why not just turn on Fox News when they’re discussing Obamacare?

 

New Study Finds Chocolate Reduces Risk of AFib:  A new study has found that eating a small amount of chocolate every week or so may decrease the risk of developing a serious type of irregular heart rhythm.  Which is ironic when you consider that a chocoholic’s heart actually “skips a beat” when they see the stuff.

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The post Trump Pushes His Way to the Front of NATO Leaders appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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