Tucker Carlson Says Only the Poor Are Fat: Tucker Carlson recently claimed on Fox News that obesity is only a problem for poor people and added that “you don’t find a fat person in rich neighborhoods.” Gee, who could have guessed Chris Christie and Rush Limbaugh live in a poor neighborhoods?
Clay Aiken Wins Primary After Opponent Dies: Clay Aiken has been declared the winner of a very close Democratic congressional primary after his primary opponent, Keith Crisco, died from injuries suffered in a fall. Gee, talk about the election being in a “dead heat!” Aiken’s new campaign slogan: “Clay Aiken, your best choice if everyone else is dead.”
Judge Dismisses PETA ‘Slavery’ Suit Over SeaWorld Orcas: Saying that the anti-slavery 13th Amendment applies only to humans, a federal judge dismissed a landmark lawsuit by PETA that sought to extend constitutional protections against slavery to the famous killer whales that perform at SeaWorld. The judge did rule, however, that performing Orcas must be given their SAG cards.
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