Wednesday , 23 August 2017
News Alert!
  • Welcome to our new mobile friendly theme!
  • Try clicking on a comedian's picture in their joke or video!
  • Check out our awesome sharing options!
  • Click on the topic picture in a joke or video for more on that topic
  • Youtube import is working again!
Home > Jokes > Ohio >

Cincinnati

How Recent: All Time
Staff Picks
My Comics
Show Everyting

Famous Anti-Choking Doctor Henry Heimlich Dead at 96

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Dr.-Henry-J.-Heim... 300w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Dr.-Henry-J.-Heim... 400w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" />

Famous Anti-Choking Doctor Henry Heimlich Dead at 96:  Dr. Henry J. Heimlich, the surgeon who developed and crusaded for the anti-choking technique that has been credited with saving an estimated 100,000 lives, has died in Cincinnati at age 96.  As might be expected, many of those 100,000 people he saved say the news of his death has them really choked-up.  Now, the question is – how many of them would be willing to cough-up a few bucks to help pay for the funeral.

 

Astronomers Discover Planet Made Largely of Diamond:  Scientists have discovered an alien planet named “55 Cancri E,” who’s mass is thought to be at least one third pure diamond.  In related news, the Kardashians announced they’ve decided to become astronauts.

 

Our Sun’s Twin Star May Have Eaten Two Planets:  Scientists say HIP68468, a twin star to our sun and about 300 light-years away, appears to have swallowed one or more of its planets.  Good grief, our sun’s twin ate two planets?  All I can say is, let’s hope our sun doesn’t decide to invite the twin over for Christmas dinner.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Famous Anti-Choking Doctor Henry Heimlich Dead at 96 appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Billionaire Peter Thiel Funding Effort to Resurrect Woolly Mammoth

Billionaire Peter Thiel Funding Effort to Resurrect Woolly Mammoth:  Silicon Valley titan and Trump supporter Peter Thiel, has reportedly invested $100,000 in a project which hopes to bring the extinct mammoth back to life.  Makes sense.  After all, the Trump administration is trying to escort us all back to the Middle Ages, so why stop there?  May as well head right on back to the ice age while we’re at it.  Sharpen your stone tools and I’ll get a fire started in the cave.  Let’s make Pangaea great again!

 

Alan Jones Claims NASA Operating Child Slave Colony on Mars:  Just months after his tale about Hillary Clinton people running a child sex ring in the basement of a Washington, D.C. pizzeria sent a gunman there to shoot up the place, Republican alt-right conspiracy theorist Alan Jones is now busy peddling an even more outrageous theory about NASA operating a child slave colony on Mars.  On a positive note – at least on Mars, those poor children won’t have to listen to nut cases like Alex Jones rambling on and on about absolute nonsense anymore.

 

Start-Up Wants to Send Your Remains Into Space:  A start-up company says they will launch your cremated remains into low orbit which will circle the Earth for a few months before re-entry into the atmosphere and finally burn up in an awesome fireball, all for the low, low price of $1,990.  Sounds like the perfect ending for my life – spend my last two grand to end up as a cheap fireworks display over suburban Cincinnati.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Billionaire Peter Thiel Funding Effort to Resurrect Woolly Mammoth appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
Laugh Blast!
jokes and videos in your inbox

Site Tip!

Did you know that we have thousands of comedy topics? You can click on the large topic image in a joke or video for more hilarity on that subject or use the search to find what you are looking for.

Pagan Priest Wins Right to Wear Goat Horns in License Photo

Pagan Priest Wins Right to Wear Goat Horns in License Photo:  A Pagan priest has won the right to wear goat horns in his driver’s license photo for the state of Maine, with the court ruling that the horns are actually “religious attire.”  Now my advice to anyone who’s offended by this gentleman’s horns is just don’t him get your goat.

 

Our Sun’s Twin Star May Have Eaten Two Planets:  Scientists say HIP68468, a twin star to our sun and about 300 light-years away, appears to have swallowed one or more of its planets.  Good grief, our sun’s twin ate two planets?  All I can say is, let’s hope our sun doesn’t decide to invite the twin over for Christmas dinner.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Dr.-Henry-J.-Heim... 300w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Dr.-Henry-J.-Heim... 400w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" />Famous Anti-Choking Doctor Henry Heimlich Dead at 96:  Dr. Henry J. Heimlich, the surgeon who developed and crusaded for the anti-choking technique that has been credited with saving an estimated 100,000 lives, has died in Cincinnati at age 96.  As might be expected, many of those 100,000 people he saved say the news of his death has them really choked-up.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Pagan Priest Wins Right to Wear Goat Horns in License Photo appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Site Tip!

Did you know that comedians love it when you spread their jokes around? Check out our nifty share options () that help you help them at the bottom of each post.

Man Dressed as Pine Tree Arrested for Blocking Traffic

portland-maineMan Dressed as Pine Tree Arrested for Blocking Traffic:  Police say in Portland Maine say they’ve arrested a man dressed as a pine tree for standing in the street and obstructing traffic on a busy downtown intersection.  Angry traffic cops say if this was a pine, it was “naughty” pine.  You can bet he’s really gonna get needled by friends about this.  Authorities initially questioned all his friends to see if any were accomplices, but they told police “you’re barking up the wrong tree.”

 

galaxiesAstronomers Say Universe Has Two Trillion Galaxies:  Astronomers report that new data indicate that there are at least two trillion galaxies in the universe, up to twenty times more than previously thought.  And perhaps even more, if one includes unfathomable places like Cleveland or Cincinnati.

 

icelandIceland Braces for a Pirate Party Takeover:  A collection of anarchists, hackers, libertarians and Web geeks known as the “Pirate Party, which didn’t even exist four years ago, is on the cusp of winning Iceland’s national elections.  Guess Icelanders must have felt like things in their country were heading south, which I suppose is a quite normal when you live so close to the North Pole.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Man Dressed as Pine Tree Arrested for Blocking Traffic appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Today's Featured Hot Topics

Most Popular