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Nicole Kidman Says Its Time Americans Support Donald Trump

Nicole Kidman Says Its Time Americans Support Donald Trump:  Nicole Kidman caused some controversy this week when she said in an interview that Americans need to support Donald Trump now that he’s been elected President.  Good grief, you could make the same argument about diabetes or heart disease.  Now that you’ve got it, you should do every thing you can to support it.

 

Earliest Human Species Possibly Found in Ethiopia:  Researchers say an ancient jawbone fragment found in Ethiopia is the oldest human fossil discovered yet, a bone potentially from a new species that reveals the human family may have arose a half million years earlier than previously thought.  Anthropologists speculate the creature came from an environment so primitive and hostile, it could make places like Cleveland or Akron look like desirable areas to live.

 

Jessica Alba’s “Honest Company” Recalls Baby Powder:  Jessica Alba’s The Honest Company has issued a voluntary recall for all bottles of its organic baby powder sold in the United States over concerns of eye and skin irritations.  Baby powder recalled over eye irritations?  Sounds like those babies are just a bunch of big babies.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trump-Putin Meeting Runs Over Two Hours

Trump-Putin Meeting Runs Over Two Hours:  There is much speculation as to what went on in the meeting between President Trump and Russian President Vladimir Putin, as the meeting which was originally allotted 30 minutes, went nearly two hours and a half.  Well that’s an understandable time frame.  Hell, you’ve got two wannabe dick-tators and remember, it takes at least 30 minutes for Viagra to kick in.  On the other hand, its rumored Trump may have sold Alaska back to the Russians.  However, on a positive note – Sarah Palin was reportedly part of the deal.

 

Christian Activist Claims Katy Perry Driving Fans to Suicide via Lesbianism:  Conservative Christian Activist and Pastor Kevin Swanson has had just about enough of people like Katy Perry singing about kissing girls and liking it, and is now claiming Perry is leading children to decadence, followed by despair and finally suicide through her songs which glorify lesbianism.  I get it – that maddening cycle of “Katy Perry to lesbian to despair to suicide” of which Jesus frequently referred to in the Gospels.  The only problem is, short of Katy Perry losing her record contract – it seems to me about the only thing Pastor Swanson and his congregation can do is continue to vigorously rub human feces all over themselves until finally there are no more lesbians.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Mars-300x300.jpg 300w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Mars-768x769.jpg 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Mars-1022x1024.jpg 1022w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Mars.jpg 1240w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" />Mars Surface Bathed in Toxic Chemicals:  New data indicates there’s very little chance the Red planet can harbor life with the finding that the surface of the red planet contains a “toxic cocktail” of chemicals that can wipe out living organisms.  Scientists say about the only thing we have similar here on Earth would be areas like Cleveland and Pittsburgh, but obviously there’s a lot more to do on Mars.

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The post Trump-Putin Meeting Runs Over Two Hours appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Yellowstone Supervolcano 2.5 times Larger Than Previous Estimates

Yellowstone Supervolcano 2.5 times Larger Than Previous Estimates:   A new study shows the supervolcano beneath Yellowstone National Park is actually about 2.5 times larger than previous estimates, suggesting that an eruption could very well doom all of humanity.  Scientists theorize it would be nearly impossible for most life forms to survive such a cataclysmic event, with the possible exception of cockroaches or perhaps a few of the Kardashians.

 

Fossils Cast Doubt on Humanity Originating in Africa:  Fossils from Greece and Bulgaria of an ape-like creature that lived 7.2 million years ago may fundamentally alter the understanding of human origins, casting doubt on the view that the evolutionary lineage that led to people arose in Africa.  So their now claiming humanity originated in Bulgaria and not Africa?  Well, I guess it could have been worse, it could have been Cleveland.

 

T. rex Could Bite With the Force of Three Cars:  Further solidifying it’s reputation as the most fearsome of dinosaurs, scientists say when the fabled carnivorous dinosaur Tyrannosaurus rex took a bite, it did so with an awe-inspiring force equal to the weight of three small cars.  Which is why I’ve always carried a Tyrannosaurus rider with my car insurance policy.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Space Flight Found to Shrink Astronauts’ Brain Size

 

Space Flight Found to Shrink Astronauts’ Brain Size:  According to a University of Michigan study, analyzed scans of people who’d spent long periods of time in space found the volume of grey matter in their brains had actually decreased.  In fact, one astronaut who’d spent a prolonged period of time on the International Space Station, was found to have lost so much brain matter that when he returned to Earth, he tried to convince NASA that the Earth was flat, the Apollo moon landing was faked and the 2016 Cleveland Browns were the greatest football team of all-time.

 

News Corp Announces Big Changes for Wall Street Journal:  In an attempt to be more supportive of the new administration, Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp has decided to completely drop all business reporting in its Wall Street Journal in order to focus completely on the progress of President Trump’s beautiful new Mexican border wall – this dramatic move will include changing the paper’s historic name from the The Wall Street Journal to simply “The Wall Journal.”

 

Stores Pulling Nutella After Report Links It To Cancer:  Nutella, the popular hazelnut spread, is being removed from supermarket shelves around the world as a result of a report that suggested one of its main ingredients – palm oil – has been linked to cancer.  Makes sense to me!  I live in California where they have palm trees everywhere and there’s no question that some of the people living in California have cancer.

 

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The post Space Flight Found to Shrink Astronauts’ Brain Size appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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Researchers Say Dinosaurs Nearly Missed Surviving Extinction

Researchers Say Dinosaurs Nearly Missed Surviving Extinction:  An international team of researchers claim that had the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs slammed into the planet just a few minutes earlier or later, it would have hit in the ocean and not had the devastating consequences it had for the beasts.  Scientists say a few minutes either way and the asteroid would have most likely instead struck downtown Cleveland – and not even the most ferocious of dinosaurs would have considered living anywhere near a disgusting hellhole like Cleveland.

 

Our Milky Way Said to Contain 160 Billion Planets:  A new statistical analysis based on a survey of millions of stars suggests that there’s at least 160 billion planets in our galaxy – the Milky Way.  Ironically, Milky Way candy bars are thought to contain at least 160 billion calories.

 

Basquiat Skull Painting Sells for $110.5 Million at Auction:  Joining the rarefied $100 million-plus club in a sales room punctuated by periodic gasps from the crowd, Jean-Michel Basquiat’s powerful 1982 painting of a skull brought $110.5 million at Sotheby’s, to become the sixth most expensive work ever sold at auction.  Are you kidding me – $110.5 million for a painting of a skull?  You’d think for that kind of dough, Sotheby’s could have at least sprung for some crossbones in the deal.

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The post Researchers Say Dinosaurs Nearly Missed Surviving Extinction appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Study Finds Fewer U.S. Parents Spanking Their Kids

paddlingStudy Finds Fewer U.S. Parents Spanking Their Kids:  A new U.S. study suggests that spanking and hitting children to discipline them has become much less common in recent decades as more parents choose non-physical approaches such as “time-outs” instead.  Of course the complete opposite is true for the Cleveland Browns’ defense, who could use a lot more hitting and substantially less time-outs.

 

weather-satellitehttp://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Weather-Satellite... 300w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Weather-Satellite... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Weather-Satellite... 800w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" />US Launches Most Advanced Weather Satellite Ever:  NASA has announced launching the most advanced weather satellite ever built rocketed into space, part of an $11 billion effort to revolutionize forecasting and hopefully save lives.  On the other hand, angry Trump supporters like Clyde C. Kluckhohn of Little Rock argue that “we don’t need to spend more taxpayer dollars on yet another weather satellite.  What we really need is a “whether satellite” – one that’ll give us practical information and not all that sciencey nonsense, like whether or not its gonna rain – whether or not I should bother wash’n my truck.”

 

frogFrog With Orange-Flashing Groin Discovered in Australia:  Wildlife biologists in Australia say they’ve uncovered a new species of frog, one which flashes it’s groin a bright orange when confronted by predators.  Scientists say they don’t believe there’s anything else quite like it in nature, with the possible exception of Donald Trump’s groin – which is believed to have only been observed by the skinniest of supermodels.

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The post Study Finds Fewer U.S. Parents Spanking Their Kids appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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