Friday , 24 March 2017
News Alert!
  • Welcome to our new mobile friendly theme!
  • Try clicking on a comedian's picture in their joke or video!
  • Check out our awesome sharing options!
  • Click on the topic picture in a joke or video for more on that topic
  • Youtube import is working again!

College

How Recent: 3 Months
Staff Picks
My Comics
Show Everyting
Laugh Blast!
jokes and videos in your inbox

Site Tip!

Did you know that comedians love it when you spread their jokes around? Check out our nifty share options () that help you help them at the bottom of each post.

Scientists Close to Cloning a Woolly Mammoth

Scientists Close to Cloning a Woolly Mammoth:  Scientists say gene editing technology like CRISPR may soon open up a shortcut to resurrecting the woolly mammoth, but some argue doing so could be both risky and unethical.

 

My feeling is why bother bringing them back, it isn’t like we really need the wool.  Hell, I was just over at Nordstrom last weekend and they seemed to have plenty of sweaters.  Call me old fashioned, but its a hell of a lot easier counting sheep than wooly mammoths.  Don’t try and pull the wool over my eyes.  And mark my words, bring back these damn mammoths and the next thing you know, you’ll have all the mammoths and elephants body-shaming each other.

 

Meanwhile, others argue if we start bringing back things like woolly mammoths, can cave men be far behind?  Not a great idea.  Has anyone thought this through?  First of all, do we even have enough caves to accommodate them?

 

What are we supposed to do, put them up in town houses until we can find enough vacant caves?  You’re not gonna find those listed on Craig’s List my friend!  Good grief, let them occupy all the caves and before long you’ll price all the mountain lions out of the market.

 

And it isn’t like these guys will be able to just head over to Sears for all their stone tool needs.  That means we’ll probably need to offer toolmaking classes at our community Colleges.  And who’s supposed to pay for all those painting supplies they use to decorate their caves?  Taxpayers?  If we spend all our money on cave art, how we gonna pay for Trump’s wall?  Oh yea, I forgot – Mexico.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Scientists Close to Cloning a Woolly Mammoth appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Site Tip!

Did you know that we have thousands of comedy topics? You can click on the large topic image in a joke or video for more hilarity on that subject or use the search to find what you are looking for.

Space Flight Found to Shrink Astronauts’ Brain Size

 

Space Flight Found to Shrink Astronauts’ Brain Size:  According to a University of Michigan study, analyzed scans of people who’d spent long periods of time in space found the volume of grey matter in their brains had actually decreased.  In fact, one astronaut who’d spent a prolonged period of time on the International Space Station, was found to have lost so much brain matter that when he returned to Earth, he tried to convince NASA that the Earth was flat, the Apollo moon landing was faked and the 2016 Cleveland Browns were the greatest football team of all-time.

 

News Corp Announces Big Changes for Wall Street Journal:  In an attempt to be more supportive of the new administration, Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp has decided to completely drop all business reporting in its Wall Street Journal in order to focus completely on the progress of President Trump’s beautiful new Mexican border wall – this dramatic move will include changing the paper’s historic name from the The Wall Street Journal to simply “The Wall Journal.”

 

Stores Pulling Nutella After Report Links It To Cancer:  Nutella, the popular hazelnut spread, is being removed from supermarket shelves around the world as a result of a report that suggested one of its main ingredients – palm oil – has been linked to cancer.  Makes sense to me!  I live in California where they have palm trees everywhere and there’s no question that some of the people living in California have cancer.

 

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Space Flight Found to Shrink Astronauts’ Brain Size appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Today's Featured Hot Topics

Most Popular