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Verizon’s New Name for AOL-Yahoo is Oath

Verizon’s New Name for AOL-Yahoo is Oath:  Now that telecom giant Verizon has purchased Yahoo, their new name for the company – which also includes AOL – will be “Oath.”  Yea, and before you think about going to any sites you probably shouldn’t, it might be a good idea to remember that you are under “Oath.”  One thing’s for sure, if they run it anything like Yahoo was run, perhaps the name “Oaf” might be a better fit – or even better – “Loath?”

 

Study Finds Women Don’t Want to Be Fat:  A new study found that 54% of women 18 to 25 say they would rather be hit by a truck than be fat.  Of course what these women fail to take into consideration is that fat women can get hit by trucks too.

 

Man Wielding Bible and Hammer Tasered by Police:  Police used a stun gun to subdue an Oklahoma man wielding a hammer and a Bible at a local trailer park after the man refused to drop the hammer during a fight with another man, claiming he was doing God’s work.  Well, Jesus was a carpenter and carpenters use hammers – and while I’m no Biblical scholar – it sounds like this guy really nailed it.

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The post Verizon’s New Name for AOL-Yahoo is Oath appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Blind Tadpoles Able to See After Eyeballs Are Attached to Their Butts

Blind Tadpoles Able to See After Eyeballs Are Attached to Their Butts:  In what is considered a stunning new development, researchers at Tufts University were able to give sight to blind tadpoles by grafting eyes onto their rear ends.  Well, they do say “hindsight is 20/20.”  On the other hand, we have a chief executive who talks out of his arse.  My concern is that these poor tadpoles won’t know whether they’re are coming and going.

 

Trump Breaks with Tradition by Refusing to Have a Pet:  Donald Trump could become the first U.S. president in decades who doesn’t have a pet in the White House.  He doesn’t have a pet?  Then what the hell’s that thing on top of his head?  Besides, that squad of flying monkeys ought to count for something.

 

Texas Man Jailed for Overdue Library Book:  A Texas man found himself arrested and jailed after a recently passed local ordinance took effect which allows courts to issue arrest warrants for library patrons who have books checked out which are over 90 days past due.  Wow, they really threw the book at him!  Lets hope after he serves his time he’ll be able to turn the page and move on to the next chapter in his life.

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The post Blind Tadpoles Able to See After Eyeballs Are Attached to Their Butts appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Trump Angry Fake Media Doesn’t Report His Long List of Achievements

Trump Angry Fake Media Doesn’t Report His Long List of Achievements:  President Donald Trump has once gain taken to Twitter to complain about the “fake media” ignoring all of his “long list of achievements.”  Maybe they just assumed most people already knew about all his bankruptcies, failed and fraudulent business ventures, multiple divorces and weekend golf outings.  Or, maybe they’re concerned that everyone will eventually become tired of all this winning.

 

Trump’s Invitation to Duterte Draws Criticism:  During their recent “very friendly conversation,” Mr. Trump invited Mr. Duterte, an authoritarian leader accused of ordering extrajudicial killings of drug suspects in the Philippines, to visit him in the White House.  Gee, Putin, Erdogan, el-Sisi and now Duterte?  Why if someone didn’t know better, they might conclude that our President is a big fan of authoritarians, dictators and demagogues with absolute power.

 

Forty Pythons Seized from Ontario Motel:  Local police are reporting that 40 pythons have been seized in a Brantford, Ontario motel by the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.  Makes you wonder what kind of sick person would force a bunch of poor pythons to stay in some cheap motel?  They deserve better accommodations.  No doubt all the room service requests for live field mice triggered hotel staff’s suspicions.

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The post Trump Angry Fake Media Doesn’t Report His Long List of Achievements appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trump Boasts He Has Higher Ratings Than 9/11 Broadcasts

Trump Boasts He Has Higher Ratings Than 9/11 Broadcasts:  In a recent interview about his first 100 days in the White House, Donald Trump bragged that his “ratings” were higher than broadcasts of the 9/11 terrorist attacks.  Is it just me, or did the President of the United States just boast he is more popular than a terror attack?

 

Rat Meat Sold as Lamb in Latest China Food Scandal:  Chinese police have broken up a criminal ring accused of taking meat from rats and selling it as lamb in the country’s latest food safety scandal.  Guess that’s what can happen when food sellers don’t give a rat’s ass about what they sell.

 

Cat Ownership Not Linked to Mental Health Problems:  Previous research suggested that a parasite associated with cat ownership could be linked to certain mental disorders such as schizophrenia, but researchers claim they’ve found no link between cat ownership and the development of psychotic symptoms.  I don’t know about that – I’m pretty sure if you asked my cat, he’d tell you I’m a complete psycho!

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The post Trump Boasts He Has Higher Ratings Than 9/11 Broadcasts appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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North Korea Accuses CIA of Biochemical Plot to Kill Kim Jong-un

North Korea Accuses CIA of Biochemical Plot to Kill Kim Jong-un:  North Korea is accusing the CIA  and South Korea of attempting to assassinate Kim Jong-un with unspecified biochemical substances during a public ceremonial event in the capital of Pyongyang.  Hell, no need to send someone to assassinate Kim.  Just book him on a United flight.

 

Study Finds Botox Could Help Treat Depression:  A California study found those who used the anti-wrinkle agent Botox had lower rates of depression.  One thing’s for sure, you’re never gonna be able to tell if they’re depressed by the expression on their face.

 

Music Teacher Caught Selling Tubas for Heroin:  A Nunda, N.Y. music teacher pulled over by police with a tuba in her backseat admitted to stealing more than 50 instruments from her school district and selling them to buy heroin.  Wow, this woman’s life has gone right down the tubas.  Now, she’ll have to face the music.

 

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The post North Korea Accuses CIA of Biochemical Plot to Kill Kim Jong-un appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Argentine Dreadnoughtus is Largest Dino Ever Found

Argentine Dreadnoughtus is Largest Dino Ever Found:  Researchers are studying the remains of a Dreadnoughtus, a four-legged beast with a long neck, a powerful 29-foot tail, who’s total length stretched about 85 feet and weighed about 65 tons, seven times the weight of the largest male African elephant alive today.  Scientists say if something like this were alive today, you’d probably find it roaming the aisles of Walmart in stretch pants and a halter top.

 

Neurobiologists Say Human Sense of Smell Isn’t Bad:  Neurobiologists say new research suggests that being able to sniff and smell may not be as weak in the human species as is commonly believed.  Yea, well let’s hope by the time we have another election, voters will know how to smell a rat.

 

Train Runs Over Couple Having Sex on the Tracks:  Local police say a middle-aged couple in central Ukraine was run over by a switching locomotive while having sex on the tracks.  This is exactly why people should never have sex on railroad tracks unless they’re properly “trained.”

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The post Argentine Dreadnoughtus is Largest Dino Ever Found appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trump Says He Didn’t Realize Being President Was Difficult

Trump Says He Didn’t Realize Being President Was Difficult:  In a recent interview with Reuters, President Trump said he is surprised how hard his new job really is, says he misses his previous life and simple things like driving and feels as if he is in a cocoon.  Good grief, I never realized playing golf every weekend at a Florida resort was that stressful!  Gee, seems poor Mr Trump is constantly getting surprised by the complexity of things lately.  Next he’ll be telling us how shocked he is that a nuclear war with North Korea could be so deadly.  I mean, who could have known nuclear bombs make such a Yuge explosion?

 

Swedish Man Arrested for Urinating on Produce:  A Swedish newspaper is reporting that a drunk man in the western city of Gothenburg was arrested for relieving himself all over the apples and oranges in produce section of a popular supermarket chain.  The judge let him off with a light fine, but made sure he understands that if this ever happens again, “urine real trouble.”

 

Church Leader and Children’s Author Arrested for Molestation:  A former church youth leader and author of a young adult book series Iowa City has been arrested for inappropriately touching multiple children over the course of several years.  Local Republican officials say they are grateful his ministry was at least able to warn everyone about the dangers of homosexuality and transgender bathrooms before he was carted off to jail!

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The post Trump Says He Didn’t Realize Being President Was Difficult appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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