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Verizon’s New Name for AOL-Yahoo is Oath

Verizon’s New Name for AOL-Yahoo is Oath:  Now that telecom giant Verizon has purchased Yahoo, their new name for the company – which also includes AOL – will be “Oath.”  Yea, and before you think about going to any sites you probably shouldn’t, it might be a good idea to remember that you are under “Oath.”  One thing’s for sure, if they run it anything like Yahoo was run, perhaps the name “Oaf” might be a better fit – or even better – “Loath?”

 

Study Finds Women Don’t Want to Be Fat:  A new study found that 54% of women 18 to 25 say they would rather be hit by a truck than be fat.  Of course what these women fail to take into consideration is that fat women can get hit by trucks too.

 

Man Wielding Bible and Hammer Tasered by Police:  Police used a stun gun to subdue an Oklahoma man wielding a hammer and a Bible at a local trailer park after the man refused to drop the hammer during a fight with another man, claiming he was doing God’s work.  Well, Jesus was a carpenter and carpenters use hammers – and while I’m no Biblical scholar – it sounds like this guy really nailed it.

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The post Verizon’s New Name for AOL-Yahoo is Oath appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Blind Tadpoles Able to See After Eyeballs Are Attached to Their Butts

Blind Tadpoles Able to See After Eyeballs Are Attached to Their Butts:  In what is considered a stunning new development, researchers at Tufts University were able to give sight to blind tadpoles by grafting eyes onto their rear ends.  Well, they do say “hindsight is 20/20.”  On the other hand, we have a chief executive who talks out of his arse.  My concern is that these poor tadpoles won’t know whether they’re are coming and going.

 

Trump Breaks with Tradition by Refusing to Have a Pet:  Donald Trump could become the first U.S. president in decades who doesn’t have a pet in the White House.  He doesn’t have a pet?  Then what the hell’s that thing on top of his head?  Besides, that squad of flying monkeys ought to count for something.

 

Texas Man Jailed for Overdue Library Book:  A Texas man found himself arrested and jailed after a recently passed local ordinance took effect which allows courts to issue arrest warrants for library patrons who have books checked out which are over 90 days past due.  Wow, they really threw the book at him!  Lets hope after he serves his time he’ll be able to turn the page and move on to the next chapter in his life.

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The post Blind Tadpoles Able to See After Eyeballs Are Attached to Their Butts appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Feral Girl Found Living with Monkeys in India

Feral Girl Found Living with Monkeys in India:  A feral girl, who didn’t appear to understand any language and walked on all fours, has been found by local police living with a group of monkeys in a wildlife sanctuary near the Nepalese border in India.  Great story!  Wonder what the hell her name is – Tarzanne?  And while you have to wish her all the best, one thing’s for certain – living with a bunch of monkeys is still a hell of a lot better than being governed by them.

 

Jeff Bezos Shows Capsule That Will Take Tourists to Space:  Amazon’s Jeff Bezos has announced his space company Blue Origin plans to begin flying tourists past the edge of space – where, for about four minutes, they’ll experience the thrill of weightlessness and view the curvature of the Earth.  OK Amazon, and good luck with trying to fulfill two-day Prime delivery commitments on Proxima Centauri.  I can see it now, next time I call to find out what the hell happened to my Amazon order, they’ll be like – “I’m sorry sir, that order seems to be Lost in Space.”

 

U.S. Launches Strike on Bashar al-Assad’s Military Airfield:  President Donald Trump launched approximately 50 cruise missiles at a Syrian military airfield in retaliation for President Bashar al-Assad’s chemical attack which killed scores of civilians.  Speaking to reporters, a visibly shaken Donald Trump said the US will respond to ALL gas attacks and indicated he is even considering going after “Jumping Jack Flash” sometime in the near future.

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The post Feral Girl Found Living with Monkeys in India appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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