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White House Admits Trump Weighed In on Son’s Misleading Statement

White House Admits Trump Weighed In on Son’s Misleading Statement:  White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders admitted that President Trump “weighed in” on the misleading statement issued by his son, but denied that the President dictated his son’s statement.  Hell, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that if you want Trump to own up to writing the statement, all you have to do is tell him it was “brilliantly written.”

 

NASA Hiring Planetary Protection Officer to Defend Earth from Aliens:  NASA is seeking to hire a full-time “planetary protection officer,” a job which pays $187,000 and will involve ensuring that humans in space do not contaminate planets and moons, as well as ensuring alien matter does not infect the Earth.  My question is, how would you measure job performance on a gig like that?  Anyway, I understand Randy Quaid is looking for a job.  Just hand him a lightsaber and set him loose.

 

Kanye West Sues Lloyd’s Over Canceled Tour Insurance:  Rapper Kanye West has filed a $10 million lawsuit against Lloyd’s of London, alleging that Lloyd’s is withholding paying out claims from the rapper’s canceled Saint Pablo tour which was abruptly ended after West began delivering bizarre rants about Jay-Z, Beyoncé and then-president-elect Donald Trump before finally checking into a UCLA psychiatric facility.  The way I look at it, Lloyd’s actually insured Kanye West?  Now you tell me who’s crazy.

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The post White House Admits Trump Weighed In on Son’s Misleading Statement appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Anthony Scaramucci’s Wife Files for Divorce

Anthony Scaramucci’s Wife Files for Divorce:  Anthony Scaramucci’s wife of three years is reportedly fed up with his ruthless quest to get close to President Trump – whom she reportedly despises – and has filed for divorce from the new White House communications director.  Rumor has it her attorneys are asking that the country be included in the divorce settlement.  Anyway, it might be a good idea for someone to let Ann Coulter know the Mooch is available.  Of course, if everything else fails, his boss can always set him up with a couple of hot Russian hookers.

 

New Drug Approved for Curved Penis Condition:  Men with a condition that causes a curvature of the penis now have a drug treatment option that has been approved by the Food and Drug Administration.  I once knew a guy who had this condition – and, not to anyone’s surprise, the car he drove was a Bentley.

 

Trump Once Summoned Priebus and Ordered Him to Kill a Fly:  The Washington Post is reporting that President Trump once summoned Chief of Staff Reince Priebus to his office and ordered him to kill a fly that was buzzing around the room.  Those present say the situation turned into conflict when Reince immediately started swatting Kellyanne with a flyswatter.

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The post Anthony Scaramucci’s Wife Files for Divorce appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trump Reportedly Considering Pardoning Himself

Trump Reportedly Considering Pardoning Himself:  News that Donald Trump and his lawyers are musing about the possibility of the President pardoning his family and himself to insulate them from any potential charges of wrongdoing related to the 2016 election has worked up many into a fury.  I beg your pardon – they’re considering what?  Frankly, sometimes I wish this family of grifters would just grab all the silverware and free souvenir pens and run away to Russia in the middle of the night.

 

Trump Names Anti-Science Radio Host as Chief Scientist:  President Trump has just nominated climate change skeptic and right-wing talk radio host Sam Clovis to serve as the Department of Agriculture’s chief scientist – a slap in the face to the scientific community and those responsible for the integrity of the USDA’s research.  Great, now about the only thing Mr Trump has left to do is appoint Judge Judy to the Supreme Court and Rush Limbaugh to head up the FDA Opioids Action Plan.  That should pretty much keep us all moving right along up that proverbial creek.

 

Catholic Church Bans Gluten-Free Communion Wafers:  A recent letter from the Vatican reminded the world’s Catholic bishops of a rule mandating wheat gluten be in the communion wafers used in the celebration of Mass by Catholics.  Wait a minute, the church is insisting communion wafers have gluten in them?  I thought “gluteny” was a sin.

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The post Trump Reportedly Considering Pardoning Himself appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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