Friday , 27 April 2018
News Alert!
  • Welcome to our new mobile friendly theme!
  • Try clicking on a comedian's picture in their joke or video!
  • Check out our awesome sharing options!
  • Click on the topic picture in a joke or video for more on that topic
  • Youtube import is working again!

Crystal Meth

How Recent: 2 Years
Staff Picks
My Comics
Show Everyting

Trump Mounts Extraordinary Defense of His Mental Stability

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Fire-and-Fury-768... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Fire-and-Fury.jpg 954w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Trump Mounts Extraordinary Defense of His Mental Stability:  In response to journalist Michael Wolff’s scathing new book “Fire and Fury,” President Trump took to Twitter to defend his mental stability by boasting about being “a very stable genius,” pointing out that his “two greatest assets have always his been mental stability and being, like, really smart.”

 

Yea, not to mention his nuclear button is much bigger than the one Kim Jong-un has setting on his desk.  That said, if ever there was a statement which could define someone’s intelligence and mental stability, it would probably that tweet by our President.  I mean, when someone uses such eloquence as “I’m like, really smart” – who are we to dispute that?

 

Of course, there’s always gonna be those skeptics who say mean things such as “Donald’s comments have convinced me that there has to be a crack pipe involved somewhere” or “if Trump’s really that smart, why’s he spending all those hours on Twitter like an angry teenage girl?”  Still, others will insist that “self-praise isn’t necessarily a sign of intelligence.”

 

Well, what all these snowflakes fail to understand is this is exactly why so many of the President’s meth-addicted supporters love Donald Trump so much – because the things he says even makes them feel smart.  And that’s why his loyal fanbase, after hearing about this book from Fox News – just like the “Three Little Pigs” before them – are now taking to social media and crying out “who’s afraid of the big bad Wolff?”

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Trump Mounts Extraordinary Defense of His Mental Stability appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Kellyanne Conway Tells People Losing Medicaid to Just Get a Job

Kellyanne Conway Tells People Losing Medicaid to Just Get a Job:  In a recent interview with ABC, Trump spokesperson Kellyanne Conway says those who lose their Medicaid coverage under the proposed Republican Healthcare Plan should just go out and find a job that provides health insurance instead.

 

Do you ever get impression that the whole GOP playbook is right out of Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol” – only it never gets to the point where they have an epiphany and become a good person.  I mean, Kellyanne has to be just a nickname.  I’m sure her real name must be something like “Kelly Antoinette.”

 

Its funny, but the more I hear people of her ilk talking about Medicare – the more I become convinced that they don’t even have the slightest idea what the hell Medicare is.  Frankly, instead of spouting her venom all over the TV day and night, I wish she’d just go back to running that meth lab we all know she has hidden away down her basement.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Kellyanne Conway Tells People Losing Medicaid to Just Get a Job appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
Laugh Blast!
jokes and videos in your inbox

Site Tip!

Did you know that comedians love it when you spread their jokes around? Check out our nifty share options () that help you help them at the bottom of each post.

Trump Appointee Removes Half the Scientists on Key EPA Board

Trump Appointee Removes Half the Scientists on Key EPA Board:  CNN has learned that Trump Environmental Protection Agency chief Scott Pruitt has dismissed half the scientists who serve on a science review board that plays a crucial role in all the work the EPA does.  In their place, Pruitt has decided to appoint a panel of televangelists in line with the Administration’s belief that the most pressing issue we’ll be facing environmentally over the next period will not be unproven liberal hoaxes like global warming, but plagues of locusts – and who could be more qualified than a bunch of TV pastors to call the shots on a locust plague?

 

Mexico Announces Largest Meth Seizure Ever:  Mexican authorities announced their largest methamphetamine seizure ever – 15 tons, found in pure powder form – at a ranch outside Guadalajara.  Mexican officials warn that if that much meth ever got into society, it could spell the end of the siesta as we know it.

 

Rome May Pave Historic Cobblestone So Women Can Wear Heels:  Rome Mayor Gianni Alemanno announced a plan to repave many of Rome’s iconic cobblestone streets in order to make it easier for women wearing high heels.  In related news, polls say Alemanno is expected to be a “shoe-in” for reelection this year.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Trump Appointee Removes Half the Scientists on Key EPA Board appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Meth Addicts Reportedly Looting Archaeological Sites

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Meth-Addict.png 600w" sizes="(max-width: 256px) 100vw, 256px" />Meth Addicts Reportedly Looting Archaeological Sites: Archaeologists are reporting a dramatic increase in thefts of antiquities from their dig sites worldwide, but what is different this time is its methamphetamine addicts looting dig sites. Because of this, scientists are asking anyone who may find an ancient artifact, to please call an Archaeologist, not a meth addict.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Dinosaur-Prints-7... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Dinosaur-Prints.jpg 800w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Hubble Telescope Spots Star 9 Billion Light Years Away:  Astronomers say the Hubble telescope has identified a blue supergiant star, 9 billion light years from Earth – the farthest individual star ever seen.  And while 9 billion light years may seem like quite a distance to some, scientists like to put it in perspective by pointing out that one could fly there and back and most likely still be sitting on hold waiting for a cable company rep to answer your damn call.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Meth-Lab.jpg 669w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Family Discovers Their New Home Was a Meth Lab:  A young family bought a house for what they thought was a bargain in Klamath Falls, Ore, only to have everyone come down with mystery illnesses before learning that the property was a former meth lab.  Well, look on the bright side, they can always rent it out for “speed dating” get-togethers.

The post Meth Addicts Reportedly Looting Archaeological Sites appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Site Tip!

Did you know that all these joke and video posts are really comedian trading cards? Try clicking on a comedian's picture in their post and watch the magic.

Today's Featured Hot Topics

Most Popular