Tuesday , 23 May 2017
News Alert!
  • Welcome to our new mobile friendly theme!
  • Try clicking on a comedian's picture in their joke or video!
  • Check out our awesome sharing options!
  • Click on the topic picture in a joke or video for more on that topic
  • Youtube import is working again!

Doctor

How Recent: 2 Months
Staff Picks
My Comics
Show Everyting

Florida Passes Bill Making it Easier to Challenge Textbooks

Florida Passes Bill Making it Easier to Challenge Textbooks:  In a move educators fear both targets and censors teaching about evolution and climate change, Florida lawmakers have just passed a bill allowing any resident to demand a hearing over anything they find objectionable in textbooks removed from public schools.  Well, in their defense, I don’t think even the most ardent supporter of evolution would claim it applies to the people living in Florida.

 

Women’s Breast Tissue Ages Faster Than Rest of Her Body:  New biological research into aging has found that a woman’s breast tissue ages faster than the rest of her body.  OK, so let’s say hypothetically a woman is around 40, what’s that work out to in boob-years?

 

Conservatives Say Dems Lying About Pre-Existing Condition Fears:  President Trump and the Republicans are trying to drown out the chorus of doctors, patients and hospital groups who say people with pre-existing medical conditions will be denied access to coverage under the Republican health plan.  Oh, they’ll have “access” alright.  It may cost them an extra $40K, but who can argue with access?  Hell, by that logic, I have “access” to all the new models of Ferraris and Lamborghinis.  Didn’t realize how good I had it until Republicans explained Trumpcare.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Florida Passes Bill Making it Easier to Challenge Textbooks appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
Laugh Blast!
jokes and videos in your inbox

Site Tip!

Did you know that we have thousands of comedy topics? You can click on the large topic image in a joke or video for more hilarity on that subject or use the search to find what you are looking for.

Noted Artists Refuse to Paint Trump’s Official Portrait

Noted Artists Refuse to Paint Trump’s Official Portrait:  Twelve of the nation’s most revered portrait artists-including the woman who painted Presidents Barack Obama and George Bush – have refused the White House’s invitation to capture Mr. Trump on canvas.

 

Gee, I have a friend who paints houses part time who I bet would be willing to give it a try.  Hell, he’d probably do it for a couple of six-packs of Rolling Rock and a bucket of fried chicken.  Also, I have an aunt (on my mother’s side) who has always been pretty darn good at those “Paint By the Number” projects.  I assume the primary number on a Trump portrait would have to be the number “45” – which I believe is the color orange.

 

Anyway, she’s quite elderly and from Ohio, so she’d be right up Trump’s demographic alley and would probably love to take on a project with such meaning.  Also, she sure appears to have lots of time on her hands – at least that’s what her doctors tell me.  Of course I’m her only beneficiary, so naturally I monitor things like that rather closely.  And of course now that Trump people are fully in charge of the EPA, I’m sure they’ll have no issues if she uses lead paint.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Noted Artists Refuse to Paint Trump’s Official Portrait appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Doctor Accused of Performing Liposuction in Pole Barn

Doctor Accused of Performing Liposuction in Pole Barn:  Southwestern Michigan authorities say a doctor may have endangered patients and the public by performing liposuctions in a pole barn.  So for those of you in Southwestern Michigan, if anyone ever utters a snide remark to you like “close the door, were you born in a barn?” – just tell them “no, but I once had liposuction in one.”

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Hobbits-300x300.jpg 300w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Hobbits-768x768.jpg 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Hobbits.jpg 835w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" />Tiny Hobbit People Were Actually Separate Species:  Researchers say the tiny 3-foot-tall hobbit people who lived in Indonesia hundreds of thousands of years ago, weren’t simply shrunken versions of modern humans as researchers had previously thought, but were actually a far more primitive sister species of Homo habilis, which lived in Africa 1.7 million years ago.  Anthropologists say this definitively proves Randy Newman was right all along.

 

Romanian Scientists Produce Artificial Blood Product:   A Romanian doctor announced that he and a team of colleagues have made a potentially life-saving stride for medicine, following a successful round of testing an artificial blood product they’ve devoted the last six years of their lives to developing.  Gee, I hate to sound cynical, but Romania is where Transylvania is located.  I mean, is anyone really surprised a “scientist” from Transylvania would devote so much bloody time trying to increase the blood supply?

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Doctor Accused of Performing Liposuction in Pole Barn appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Site Tip!

Did you know that all these joke and video posts are really comedian trading cards? Try clicking on a comedian's picture in their post and watch the magic.

World’s First Head Transplant Scheduled for December

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/Head-Transplant.jpg 280w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" />World’s First Head Transplant Scheduled for December:  The world’s first head transplant will be performed in December, led by Italian neurosurgeon Sergio Canavero on a Russian man who is suffering from a rare and fatal form of spinal muscular atrophy.  Prior to surgery. the man’s head will be cooled down to 5 degrees Fahrenheit and then reattached to a donated, brain-dead body.

 

Doctors were originally going to wait until early next year to perform the operation, but wanted to get a head start.  That said, they shouldn’t just go Russian into this.  Let’s hope cooler heads prevail – after all, this poor guy’s really sticking his neck out here.  Doctor’s shouldn’t be doing a complicated and dangerous surgery like this just because they’re trying to get a head in their profession.

 

Say what you will, but to me – the most exciting implication about a surgery like this is that someone could fart right out loud in the middle of a huge crowd and when everyone turns around and gives you a look, you could look them right square in the eye and honestly say “hey, that wasn’t me!”

 

Personally, if I were in this situation, I think I’d have a tough time deciding whether I wanted a new head or a new body.  I guess it would all depend on who’s gonna get the bill – the head or the body.  Guess its kind of like “heads I win, tails you lose.”  Frankly, I’m just trying to wrap my mind around all this.

 

Anyway, as a precaution, doctors are requesting the man refrain from going to comedy shows for the first year after surgery, just to prevent the possibility of him laughing his head off.  Is it just me or does this seem like a surgery that would be covered under the new Republican healthcare plan?  Guess its time to give Ben Carson a call.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post World’s First Head Transplant Scheduled for December appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Today's Featured Hot Topics

Most Popular