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Report Says 56,000 US Bridges Are Structurally Unsound

Report Says 56,000 US Bridges Are Structurally Unsound:  A new survey found that nearly 56,000 bridges across the nation are “structurally deficient” and need replaced.  I’m doing my part, next Monday I’m having my dentist replace a bridge in my upper right jaw that’s over 15 years old.

 

Life Forms 50,000 Years Old Found in Mexican Caves:  Scientists have what they describe as ancient microbial life forms trapped in crystals inside a Mexican cave that are thought to be 50,000 years old.  During his latest press conference, President Trump told reporters he is aware of the microbes discovery and promised to do everything in his power as president to prevent them from entering the country illegally.

 

Russian Family Criticized for Getting Pet Dog Plastic Surgery:  A Russian family is being slammed after paying to get their dog plastic surgery so it would look more like the dog in the Jim Carrey film “The Mask.”   I suppose about the only positive thing you can say about this situation is that at least the family didn’t insist that their poor dog look like Putin.

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The post Report Says 56,000 US Bridges Are Structurally Unsound appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Kellyanne Conway Fabricates Bowling Green Massacre

Kellyanne Conway Fabricates Bowling Green Massacre:  In an interview with MSNBC’s Chris Matthews, Presidential advisor Kellyanne Conway fabricated a “Bowling Green massacre” in an attempt to justify Donald Trump’s new immigration ban.  Oh sure, the Bowling Green massacre?  What crazy stories will these people come up with next – cats in the Westminster Dog Show?  Hell, is it any wonder Trump lost the popular vote with so many of his supporters wiped out in the “Bowling Green massacre?”

 

Smokeless Tobacco Co Issues Recall Over Metal Fragments:  Altria, the company behind popular smokeless tobacco brands such as Skoal, Copenhagen, Cope and Husky, has issued a voluntary recall across six states after consumers complained of sharp metal objects in cans of their product.  Only a six state recall?  I’m guessing that means everyone else in the other 44 states are OK with chewing shrapnel.

 

Texas Boy Finds Rattlesnake in Toilet Bowl:  A Texas boy got quite a shock after opening up the toilet bowl and seeing a full grown rattlesnake in there – which then was able to slip out onto the floor before his mom killed it with a garden hoe.  You mean a rattlesnake can crawl into your toilet bowl?  Guess I don’t know shit about rattlesnakes.  This should also serve as a warning for that rattlesnake we have in the White House to keep away from the ho’s while Melania’s off somewhere in New York doing whatever people like her do.

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The post Kellyanne Conway Fabricates Bowling Green Massacre appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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Westminster Dog Show to Include Cats This Year

Westminster Dog Show to Include Cats This Year:  The New York Times is reporting that cats will be joining the prestigious Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show this year for the first time in its 140-year history.  Personally, I would’ve gone with ponies instead of cats – that way, it could’ve been a “dog and pony show.”  But gee, there’s just so much love in the world.  Makes you wonder why the Patriots and Falcons don’t allow the Red Sox to join them in the Super Bowl?  I mean, why limit the thing to two football teams?

 

Stroke Victim Loses Ability to Feel Sadness:  A 68-year-old British man who suffered a stroke in the emotion-controlling frontal lobe of his brain in 2004, discovered he that he had completely lost the ability to feel sadness or depression of any kind.  Gee, I’ll bet this guy must be an absolute riot at funerals.

 

Humans Evolved From Tiny Sea Creature With No Anus:  In a study published in Nature, scientists say the earliest known ancestor of humans was a sea creature a millimeter in size that most likely lacked an anus.  No doubt even Darwin would be impressed to think we’ve come all the way from a sea creature with no anus – to Kim Kardashian.

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The post Westminster Dog Show to Include Cats This Year appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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