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Man to Launch Himself in Homemade Rocket to Prove Earth Flat

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Flat-Earth-Rocket... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Flat-Earth-Rocket... 782w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Man to Launch Himself in Homemade Rocket to Prove Earth Flat:  Seeking to prove that a conspiracy of astronauts fabricated the shape of the Earth, a California man intends to prove the Earth is flat by launching himself 1,800 feet into the air at 500 miles per hour in a homemade, steam-powered rocket he built out of scrap metal.  So, to prove the Earth is flat, he’s gonna go “splat!”  I’m guessing he must have missed the last solar eclipse.  And he’ll be flying at an altitude of only 1800 feet?  Why we have buildings a lot taller than that.  And commercial jetliners frequently cruise at 30,000 feet.  Why put yourself through all this – when you can just buy an airline ticket to Cleveland and ask for a window seat?  On a positive note, he shouldn’t have any problem launching the thing, because President Trump just announced plans to repeal “The Law Of Gravity” as part of his promise to deregulate everything.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Roman-Ship-768x51... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Roman-Ship-1024x6... 1024w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Roman-Ship.jpg 1348w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Archeologists Find Roman Shipwrecks off Egypt’s Coast:  Egyptian officials report archaeologists have discovered three sunken shipwrecks dating back more than 2,000 years to Roman times off the coast of the city of Alexandria.  Alert Egyptian officials said that when the ships didn’t even show up after 2000 years, we felt something may have happened to them and that it was time to start looking.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Evolution-of-Huma... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Evolution-of-Huma... 1024w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Evolution-of-Huma... 1240w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />

Human Teeth Evolved from the Scales of Ancient Shark:  New evidence out of the University of Cambridge suggests that the teeth in your mouth have their origin in the scales of primitive shark-like fish.  Good – then maybe I’ll send them my dental bills.

 

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The post Man to Launch Himself in Homemade Rocket to Prove Earth Flat appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Trump Makes Craziest Statement About Panama Canal

Trump Makes Craziest Statement About Panama Canal:  President Trump raised eyebrows during a White House meeting with Panamanian President Juan Carlos Varela when he said “the Panama Canal is doing quite well, I think we did a good job building it.”

 

Is it just me, or did Trump just kinda/sorta try and take credit for the Panama Canal?  I assume from this point on in the Red States, it’ll be forever known as the Trump Canal.  Must be part of those infrastructure upgrades he promised during the campaign.  Wonder if he was able to get Panama to pay for it?

 

That said, I’ve gotta at least give him credit for knowing the Panama Canal is in Panama.  Can’t wait for his thoughts on Grant’s Tomb.  On the other hand, can we expect an international incident if the Egyptians visit and he takes credit for the pyramids or implies the Chinese ripped off his idea when they built the Great Wall?

 

Anyway, my feeling is that while the Panama Canal is certainly a nice canal, its not nearly as nice as the one Trump had built over at Guadalcanal.  I believe he even kept a diary while the thing was being built.

 

But all kidding aside, if your elderly parents regularly uttered insane things like this, wouldn’t you think its time to get them professional help?  And the best part is – he has his tiny, little fingers on that big red button.  I mean, at this point – even Putin and the Russians have to be thinking “what the hell have we done?”

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The post Trump Makes Craziest Statement About Panama Canal appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

New Study Claims Pot Could Lead to Cardiac Risks

New Study Claims Pot Could Lead to Cardiac Risks: According to a new study just released, researchers at Philadelphia’s Einstein Medical Center say there may be a connection between marijuana use and increased cardiac risks – including stroke.  Well of course pot can lead to heart failure – especially when you first realize you’ve run out!  Hell, the way I look at it, if Trump’s election didn’t give me a heart attack, there’s not much chance smoking a joint’s gonna kill me.

 

Colossal 3,000-Year-Old Statue Unearthed in Cairo: In what is being called a most important archaeological find, a team of archaeologists from Egypt and Germany have removed the head of a giant 3,000-year-old statue thought to depict Ramses II, and are now trying to figure out how to remove the huge torso portion of the statue. The archaeologists faced community criticism for removing parts of the statue with a crane, but countered by saying “hey, it isn’t our fault Ramses II had such a fat ass.”

 

Trump Claiming He Didn’t Know Flynn an Agent for Turkey:  The White House is claiming that President Trump did not know until this week his former national security adviser, Michael Flynn, had been working as an agent for Turkey, although the information was told to the Trump team before Donald Trump took office.  Gee, stuff like that could almost lead someone to conclude that perhaps it might not be the refugees who need the “extreme vetting.”

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The post New Study Claims Pot Could Lead to Cardiac Risks appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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Science Declares Dogs are Smarter Than Cats

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Dogs-Smarter-150x... 150w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Dogs-Smarter.jpg 350w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Science Declares Dogs are Smarter Than Cats:  An international team of researchers recently found that dogs possess twice the number of neurons in their cerebral cortex than cats, therefore concluding that dogs are smarter because neurons are the cells that process information.

 

Perhaps, but I guess my first question would be, why in the hell do we have international teams “working” on something this in the first place?  But no matter, my problem with this research equation is that it implies we humans are intelligent – and I think all you need to do is take a look who we’ve put in the White House to know what a damn fallacy that is.  Also, word on the street has it – that cats downright refused to participate in the study.  Let’s not forget that the ancient Egyptians once worshiped cats as gods and cats have never forgotten it.

 

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Anyway, regardless of which animal is in possession of the most neurons, the fact is – everyone knows both cats and dogs are smart enough to turn we “big-brained” primates into their lavish servants with just a glance!  Good grief, I can see my cat is out in the garden right now, debating the issue over the fence with the neighbor’s dog – claiming this is all based upon flawed research and insisting that what we have here is yet another example of “fake news.”  Sad – really!

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The post Science Declares Dogs are Smarter Than Cats appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

New Guidelines Warn Against Cotton Swabs to Clean Ears

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Cotton-Swabs-300x... 300w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Cotton-Swabs.png 702w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" />New Guidelines Warn Against Cotton Swabs to Clean Ears:  Updated clinical guidelines recently published caution that people should refrain from using cotton swabs to clean wax from their ears, as they can cause cuts in ear canals, perforate our eardrums and dislocate our hearing bones.  Doctors say the danger exists, even for those using Gwyneth Paltrow’s private brand 1500-thread count, 100% Egyptian Cotton swabs sold only at Nordstrom.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Solar-Activity-30... 300w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Solar-Activity.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" />Changes in the Sun’s Activity Threatens Earth’s Electronics:  According to new research, shifts in solar activity could make the sun a serious threat as early as midcentury to those electronic devices upon which society has become so dependent.  Terrific, as if we didn’t already have enough to worry about, now we have to make sure our cellphones, laptops and smartwatches don’t get a sunburn?

 

Study Claims Dinosaurs Died a Very Cold Death:  New research using state-of-the-art computer simulations indicates the dinosaurs probably died a very cold death as the Earth’s surface air temperature dropped by at least 79 degrees Fahrenheit after a massive asteroid hit Earth 65 million years ago.  Makes sense they’d freeze to death when you consider how difficult it would have been for dinosaurs to get ahold of any heating oil back in those days – especially given it was the poor dinosaurs themselves who ended up actually becoming heating oil.  Hell, they didn’t even have snow shovels back in those days.  It would have been nearly impossible for any of them to get back and forth to work.

 

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The post New Guidelines Warn Against Cotton Swabs to Clean Ears appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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