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Televangelist Jim Bakker Demands Viewers Buy His Pancake Mix

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Jim-Bakker-Pancak... 533w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Televangelist Jim Bakker Demands Viewers Buy His Pancake Mix:  Disgraced televangelist Jim Bakker warned viewers that their grandchildren could face eternal damnation and President Trump possibly be assassinated unless they send him $60 (plus shipping and handling) for a bucket of the pancake mix which he is selling.  All I can say is, let this serve as a warning to all of you who think you can just eat at IHOP once in a while and still save your souls – the Lord isn’t fooled by that kind of crêpe.  In fact, I’m been thinking about designing a custom griddle that’ll put the image of Jesus on all these pancakes.  That ought to butter him up a bit.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Franklin-Graham-7... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Franklin-Graham-1... 1024w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Franklin-Graham.png 1449w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Franklin Graham Attacks Ray Moore Denouncers:  According to Evangelist Franklin Graham, those denouncing alleged pedophile and Alabama senatorial candidate Roy Moore “are guilty of doing much worse than what he has been accused of supposedly doing.”  Smart observation on the part of Reverend Graham.  I mean, if Alabama doesn’t elect this pervert to the Senate, next thing you know – hordes of transgenders will begin using public restrooms and our young people could be at risk of not believing everything they hear on Fox News.  Give him a break, the good pastor is only trying to give loyal Alabama Republicans a little Ray Moore of hope.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Dunkin’-Donuts-... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Dunkin’-Donuts-... 1024w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Florida Man Accused of Impersonating Cop for Discounted Doughnuts:  Florida police have arrested a man who was impersonating a cop so he could get discounted doughnuts at Dunkin’ Donuts.  Police say it was easy to spot the imposter by the glazed look on his face.  But there’s no point in sugar-coating this, this guy is going to jail and they’ll likely throw him right in the hole.

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The post Televangelist Jim Bakker Demands Viewers Buy His Pancake Mix appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Supreme Court Rules Trump Can Keep Travel Ban

Supreme Court Rules Trump Can Keep Travel Ban:  The Supreme Court has granted a Trump administration request to continue to bar most refugees under its travel ban.  Hey, I got an idea for a travel ban.  How about a travel ban which would prevent Trump from galavanting all over the country to play golf every weekend at taxpayer expense?

 

Man Ejected from Bar Tosses Molotov Cocktails:  As if the hurricane wasn’t bad enough, police say a man who was angry about being thrown out of a Florida bar, came back and tossed Molotov cocktails made from beer bottles into the establishment.  The man denied it, but the bartender told police no one inside the bar was ordering Molotov cocktails.

 

Sitting Too Long Can Cause Early Death:  A new study published in Annals of Internal Medicine found that no matter how much you exercise, sitting for excessively long periods of time is a risk factor for early death.  So, next time a neighbor tells you “come on in and sit a spell,” you better ask them “what are you trying to do, kill me?”

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The post Supreme Court Rules Trump Can Keep Travel Ban appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trump Suggests He Be Given Equal Time in Late Night Talk

Trump Suggests He Be Given Equal Time in Late Night Talk:  In an early morning tweet, President Trump suggested that late night hosts are plotting with the Democrats against him by making anti-Trump jokes and that he should be given equal time.  Well, I don’t know about equal time, but at least he should be given a cut.  After all, he does provide all the material.

 

Hidden Camera Captures Florida Man Having Sex With Dog:  Police have arrested a Florida man after his new roommate caught him having sex with his dog on a hidden camera.  The dog owner told police that the safest thing is, every time he’d come home and his new roommate would tell him he’d been “in the Lab all day,” he just assumed that meant he was a research scientist.

 

Brooklyn Man Claims PTSD After Toilet Explosion:  A 58-year-old Brooklyn man is suing his apartment management company, claiming PTSD after his new toilet bowl exploded, sending shrapnel into his face and requiring 30 stitches that left a large scar.  Now I realize all of this may seem really funny to some of you, until you realize that another fellow human being actually required 30 stitches in his face as a result of an exploding toilet – no wait, I take that back – it is still funny.

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The post Trump Suggests He Be Given Equal Time in Late Night Talk appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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