U.S. Marshals Employee Caught Having Sex on Roof of Federal Building:  The U.S. Marshals Service confirms that one of its employees has been photographed having sex on the Harrisburg, Pennsylvania federal courthouse rooftop.  Sex on the rooftop?  These two were obviously trying to sleep their way to the top.  Regardless, security experts say they will likely “get-off” with a just warning.

Historical Women’s Group Ends 110-year Alamo Stewardship:  Flags were lowered and prayers said in the myriad languages of the Alamo’s 1836 defenders as the Daughters of the Republic of Texas ended their 110 years as custodians of the mission, amid shouts of “Remember the Alamo.”  Remember the Alamo?  Hell, I’m lucky to remember my car keys, let alone the Alamo.

Blind 10-foot Alligator Captured Near Downtown Fort Worth:  A blind alligator stretching more than 10 feet has been removed from the Trinity River in a park near downtown Fort Worth and taken to a refuge.  Wow, a blind alligator living in downtown Fort Worth?  If only he’d had the sense to quit when he just needed glasses, he wouldn’t be in this mess.  Now, he’s probably out there looking for a “hand out.”  And providing him with a guide dog doesn’t sound like it’d work all that well either.

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The Dallas-Fort Worth
airport is opposing the opening of a nearby strip club. They say it's not fully
secure until strippers are also made to remove their shoes.