Friday , 20 April 2018
News Alert!
  • Welcome to our new mobile friendly theme!
  • Try clicking on a comedian's picture in their joke or video!
  • Check out our awesome sharing options!
  • Click on the topic picture in a joke or video for more on that topic
  • Youtube import is working again!

Fox & Friends
  • 74 Jokes

How Recent: All Time
Staff Picks
My Comics
Show Everyting

Paul Ryan Lowers the Boom on Women Wearing Sleeveless Attire

Paul Ryan Lowers the Boom on Women Wearing Sleeveless Attire:  House Speaker Paul Ryan has begun vigorously enforcing rules which prohibit women from attempting to enter the Speaker’s Lobby while wearing shoulder-baring sleeveless shirts and dresses.  While I’m certainly no expert on congressional matters, I’m assuming a rule like this would be enforced by the sergeant-at-arms.  That said, kind of makes you wonder, isn’t there anything more important Speaker Ryan could be doing with his time – you know, like slashing funding for school lunches or cutting healthcare services to veterans and the elderly?

 

Trump’s Poland Speech Sounded Like Someone Reading a Wikipedia Page:  Some are calling out President Donald Trump’s recent speech in Poland, which many felt sounded as if he was simply reading the country’s Wikipedia page to Poland’s own people.  Well, on a positive note, at least he didn’t open with a Polish joke – you know – something like “all you Poles should be grateful you’re no longer part of Russia.  Those Russian winters can be really harsh.”

 

Western Montana Hit With 5.8 Earthquake:  A 5.8 magnitude earthquake has struck western Montana about 33 miles northwest of Helena.  While geologists say earthquakes are not unusual for the area, Fox and Friends is reporting that it wasn’t actually an earthquake, but shock waves from President Trump’s bodyslam of the CNN meme finally reaching Montana.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Paul Ryan Lowers the Boom on Women Wearing Sleeveless Attire appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
Laugh Blast!
jokes and videos in your inbox

Site Tip!

Did you know that all these joke and video posts are really comedian trading cards? Try clicking on a comedian's picture in their post and watch the magic.

Site Tip!

Did you know that we have thousands of comedy topics? You can click on the large topic image in a joke or video for more hilarity on that subject or use the search to find what you are looking for.

Trump Lawyer Arranged $130K Hush Money to Keep Porn Star Quiet

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Daniels-and-Trump... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Daniels-and-Trump... 808w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Trump Lawyer Arranged $130K Hush Money to Keep Porn Star Quiet:  The Wall Street Journal is reporting that a lawyer for Donald Trump arranged a $130,000 payment to former porn star Stormy Daniels one month before the 2016 election in an effort to keep her silent about an alleged sexual encounter with the future President.

 

Gee, who could’ve ever imagined a day when a report about the President of the United States paying out $130,000 in hush money to a hooker would only be the 3rd most embarrassing story about him that day?  Hell, its getting to the point where even Charlie Sheen has more moral authority than this guy – winning!  Of course, I’m sure Trump’s pals over at Fox and Friends will be asking “so what’s wrong with banging porn stars and paying them hush money?”

 

To be fair, Republicans are quick to point out that Stormy Daniels is denying that the payout ever happened.  I’m sure she is.  I mean, isn’t that why they call these payouts “hush money?”  That said, Trump must have assumed that because her name is Stormy – there’d be a good chance of showers – Golden Showers.  In fact, rumor has it she’s busy writing a book about her experiences with the President entitled “Urine The White House Now.”

 

Anyway, if I’m doing the math correctly, this $130,000 payout means Trump is paying out over $100,000 per inch – or, put another way – $60,000 a minute for her services.  But come on – $130,000?  And they say nobody pays for porn anymore!  So much for Donald Trump’s superior negotiating skills.

 

One thing’s for sure, you can bet Republican Values Voters are gonna be just furious about this…just kidding!  Apparently Values Voters interpret Two Corinthians as saying “it’s perfectly fine to cheat on your wife with adult film stars, just as long as you pay them off properly.”  After all, nothing says “family values” like paying hush money to a porn star.  One thing’s for sure, all these scandals are likely to make poor Melania squint her eyes even more than she already does.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Trump Lawyer Arranged $130K Hush Money to Keep Porn Star Quiet appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Today's Featured Hot Topics

Most Popular