by Michael Blackman

"I cannot tell an #alternativefact." -George Washington

Jan 22nd, 2017 via twitterStaff Pick

by Corey Miller

Washington: Hey George III, how many RTs for independence?

George III: 18 million.

Washington: Done.

#FoundingFatherTweets

Jul 4th, 2017 via twitterStaff Pick

by Warren Holstein

Barbara Bush just turned 90. What's her secret to aging gracefully? Nothing. Have you seen her? She looks like George Washington.

Jun 8th, 2015 via twitter

by Jeff Dwoskin

Tump nicknames George Washington 'Ol' Wooden Tooth'
#1776Trump

Jul 5th, 2016 via twitterStaff Pick

by Jeff Dwoskin

It's clear George Washington is colluding with the Russians in order to reduce the cherry ???? harvest

-T. Jefferson

#FoundingFatherTweets

Jul 4th, 2017 via twitter

by Erik Bransteen

George Washington is rolling around in his grave.
But only because Trump's EPA allowed an oil pipeline to be built directly under his coffin

Feb 18th, 2017 via twitterStaff Pick

by Jeff Dwoskin

My kids don't know who George Washington is because he never sang w/Kanye West.

#PresidentsDay

Feb 16th, 2015 via twitterStaff Pick

by JimMcCue

George Washington spent about 7% of his annual salary on booze. The paperwork on his hemp consumption went up in smoke.

Mar 7th, 2017 via twitterStaff Pick

by Michael Blackman

Chris Christie expected to announce his presidential bid from George Washington bridge closed lane. @absrdNEWS

Jun 25th, 2015 via twitter

by Johan Miranda

Canada was actually founded by pilgrims who vowed to move if George Washington was elected.

Mar 3rd, 2016 via twitterStaff Pick

by Warren Holstein

This isn't the first time Chris Christie pulled these shenanigans. Remember when he quarantined everyone on the George Washington Bridge?

Oct 27th, 2014 via twitter

by Erik Bransteen

I wish the guy who climbed on top of the George Washington Bridge was Chris Christie yelling, "OK, I admit it. I CLOSED THE F-ING BRIDGE!!!"

Oct 28th, 2016 via twitter