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Christian Conspiracy Theorist David Meade Cancels Apocalypse

Christian Conspiracy Theorist David Meade Cancels Apocalypse:  Christian conspiracy theorist David Meade, who claimed the world would end September 23rd when the mysterious planet Nibiru would collide with Earth, is now backtracking on that prediction and instead claiming that the world “as we know it” will be ending beginning October 2017.

 

Oh crap, now I have to unpack everything.  I just assumed the apocalypse didn’t happen because Nibiru might have been stuck in traffic and running a little late.  Don’t ya just hate it when they cancel important stuff like the end of the world at the last minute?  Is it just me, or does it seem like this David Meade guy has been making doomsday predictions like there’s no tomorrow?

 

Not to be critical, but at this point, I think there’s a better chance of Donald Trump getting complimentary season tickets for Golden State Warriors games than one of David Meade’s predictions coming true.  Just as well, I had a few things I needed to get done this week anyway.  Now if I can just reschedule that colon hydrotherapy appointment I canceled.

 

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The post Christian Conspiracy Theorist David Meade Cancels Apocalypse appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Draymond Green Posts Picture of Penis to Snapchat

Draymond GreenDraymond Green Posts Picture of Penis to Snapchat:  Golden State Warriors star Draymond Green, who will be representing the US at the Rio Games, was forced to apologize after he accidentally hit the wrong button and posted a picture of his penis on the social media site Snapchat.  That is why the US Postal Service recommends that – as long as time isn’t really an issue – its always advisable to send your penis pics through snail mail.

 

Bar PonyShetland Pony Invades British Pub for Drinks:  Locals say a Shetland pony named Mocha snuck into a British pub through a back door and started drinking out of stray pint glasses.  OK, wait, don’t tell me – the bartender asked him “so why the long face?”  Most patrons didn’t seem to mind and of course the bar flies were really happy.

 

Alligator

Authorities Say Nursing Home Patient Was Killed by Alligator:  Authorities say a missing 90-year-old woman, whose body was found in a retention pond behind her South Carolina assisted living facility, was most likely the victim of an alligator.  South Carolina officials say that’s why its so important that alligators never be included as part of assisted living recreational programs.  Sadly, when police finally caught up with the gator, it claimed it was still hungry.  Good grief, about the only thing I can think of that would be worse than this – would be having a dingo eat your baby.

 

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The post Draymond Green Posts Picture of Penis to Snapchat appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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Coast Guard Spots SOS in Sand and Rescues Stranded Couple

Deserted IslandCoast Guard Spots SOS in Sand and Rescues Stranded Couple:  The U.S. Coast Guard reports it has rescued a couple who were stranded on an uninhabited island in Micronesia after crews saw the giant “SOS” they scribbled in the sand.  Well one thing’s for sure, they can now cross “stranded on a deserted island” off their bucket list.

 

Christian WarriorChristian Warrior Makes YouTube Threats Against LGBT:  A Las Vegas conspiracy theorist calling himself a “Christian Warrior,” has been taken into custody and charged with making terrorist threats after posting a disturbing YouTube video holding a military grade, semi-automatic assault weapon and threatening to slaughter “gays, faggots, lesbians and satanists.”  Good grief, as if Trump hadn’t already had a bad enough week, now yet another supporter just became ineligible to vote.  This election must be rigged.  And once again, we have Obama refusing to use the term “radical Christian terrorist.”

 

Donald TrumpStudy Finds Trump Supporters Frequently Think About Death:  A new study found that the more people think about death – the more likely they’ll be voting for Trump.  On the other hand, the more I think about the possibility Trump might actually get elected, the more I think death might not be so bad after all.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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