Friday , 25 May 2018
News Alert!
  • Welcome to our new mobile friendly theme!
  • Try clicking on a comedian's picture in their joke or video!
  • Check out our awesome sharing options!
  • Click on the topic picture in a joke or video for more on that topic
  • Youtube import is working again!

Golf

How Recent: 6 Months
Staff Picks
My Comics
Show Everyting

Stormy Daniels Sues Alleging Trump Lawyer Trying to Silence Her

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Donald-and-Stormy... 623w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Stormy Daniels Sues Alleging Trump Lawyer Trying to Silence Her:  Porn Star Stormy Daniels has filed a lawsuit against Donald Trump, claiming that the President’s personal lawyer is taking considerable steps to silence her as she is preparing  to tell her story of an “intimate relationship” with the Donald Trump back in 2006 and 2007.

 

Wait just a minute!  You’re telling me Stormy Daniels expects us to believe that Donald Trump had an affair with an American woman?  Seriously?  And what’s really puzzling is – everyone knows porn actresses usually get paid to keep their mouths wide open.  Now, all of a sudden, she’s getting paid to keep her mouth shut.  That must be extremely confusing for her.  On the other hand, pulling off such a skillful financial transaction like this ought to at least easily qualify her to become a member of President Trump’s Council of Economic Advisors if not Secretary of Commerce.

 

And while most US Presidents normally end up in our history books, this little escapade puts a whole new take on the old phrase ”going down in history.”  One thing’s for sure, I think I finally now have a firm grasp on what Republicans really mean when they talk about the benefits of “trickle down economics.”

 

And while Donald Trump never served in our military because he had bone spurs and therefore did not receive a “Purple Heart – its my understanding that because of all his catting around, he did eventually end up with a purple something.

 

I tell you, its kind of weird when you realize that a porn star is holding the moral high ground in a dispute with the president.  Of course, Trump has always bragged that he has all the best people, but let’s get real here – he doesn’t even have all the best porn stars.  The bottom line is, sure – our golfer President may have finally got himself a hole in one – but it cost him $130,000.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Stormy Daniels Sues Alleging Trump Lawyer Trying to Silence Her appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
Laugh Blast!
jokes and videos in your inbox

Site Tip!

Did you know that all these joke and video posts are really comedian trading cards? Try clicking on a comedian's picture in their post and watch the magic.

Trump Tweets We Need More Global Warming

Trump Tweets We Need More Global Warming:  With much of the US inundated with snow and frigid weather, President Trump took to Twitter to say he thinks America could benefit from “a little bit of that good old global warming.”  Now let’s see, if I’m correct here – his Mar-a-Lago estate is only just a few feet above sea level.  Talk about “be careful about what you wish for!”  If I were him, I think I’d make damn sure that top floor Trump Tower penthouse apartment is shipshape and ready to go – that is, unless he plans to take up scuba diving instead of golf.

 

New Dating App Matches Users Based on Their DNA:  A new dating app called “Pheramor” is using DNA compatibility as a basis for its matchmaking algorithm, requiring all users to submit a cheek swab which a team of in-house scientists can sequence in order to determine which users might be sexually compatible.  I guessing that after you’ve turned your love life over to algorithms and in-house scientists, about the only thing left to do is head out on that “let’s get to know each other date” – and pay for it all in Bitcoin.

 

World’s Richest Became $1 Trillion Wealthier in 2017:  While most of the world’s population still struggles to make ends meet, new data shows that the world’s richest individuals increased their wealth by a staggering $1 trillion in 2017.  Yea, its called “trickle-down economics,”  and quite frankly – I find it strangely comforting to know the rich are “trickling-down” on us.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Trump Tweets We Need More Global Warming appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Site Tip!

Did you know that comedians love it when you spread their jokes around? Check out our nifty share options () that help you help them at the bottom of each post.

Employee Accidentally Sets Off Missile Alert in Hawaii

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Emergency-Missile... 750w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Employee Accidentally Sets Off Missile Alert in Hawaii:  A bogus emergency missile alert that was accidentally set off and sent out to everyone in Hawaii – has been determined to have been caused by an employee who mistakenly pushed the wrong button.

 

Gee, an employee accidentally set off the missile alert system?  Makes you wonder, just what the hell was this guy was smok’n?  Oh wait, I think we already know the answer to that – Maui Wowie – but I digress.  All I can say is, its a good thing our President Trump was on the golf course again, or he might have panicked and pushed that “much bigger and much better nuclear button” he has setting on his desk.

 

That said, somebody needs to sit that employee down and have a good talk with him…“Now listen Sparky, let’s go over this one more time – the green button is for all is well and the red button is for…nooooo! – that button says “launch,” not “lunch!”

 

Meanwhile, alt-right conspiracy theorists have been busy insisting that this incident was no accident at all, but an attempt by a blue state to make President Trump look like a fool.  Which sounds ridiculous when you consider that our President doesn’t need any help from blue states to make himself look a fool!

 

Anyway, one interesting thing I noticed was that, even during a frightening situation like this, you don’t hear very many Hawaii residents saying things like “I told you we should have moved to Cleveland instead.”  That said, I think it’ll be interesting to see just how many babies will be born about 9 months from now.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Employee Accidentally Sets Off Missile Alert in Hawaii appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Massive Crowds Turn Out for DC March for Our Lives

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/March-for-Our-Liv... 720w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Massive Crowds Turn Out for DC March for Our Lives:  Hundreds of thousands of people have turned out for the March for Our Lives event in Washington DC to demand an end to gun violence.  While he didn’t attend any of the marches held around the country, President Trump did show his support by spending the day golfing at Mar-a-Lago and drafting executive orders to discriminate against transgender people in the military.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Global-Switch-Off... 564w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Millions Participate in Global Switch-Off for Climate Change Awareness:  Millions of people around the world switched off their lights for Earth Hour in an attempt to raise awareness about climate change and other environmental issues.  And even though I was totally unaware this event was going on, I was still able to actively participate in the “lights off” activities due to the fact that I had forgotten to pay my electric bill.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Golden-Arches-768... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Golden-Arches.jpg 1000w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Angry Customer Attacks Golden Arches at Oregon McDonald’s:  Police say a 37-year-old man has been arrested after he destroyed a banner and then attacked the golden arches at a McDonald’s restaurant in western Oregon, this happening after employees refused to make him 30 double cheeseburgers.  Of course, the over-arching question which has to be asked is – if he used a bow and arrow to attack those golden arches, would it still be considered archery?

The post Massive Crowds Turn Out for DC March for Our Lives appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Today's Featured Hot Topics

Most Popular