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Trump Tweets We Need More Global Warming

Trump Tweets We Need More Global Warming:  With much of the US inundated with snow and frigid weather, President Trump took to Twitter to say he thinks America could benefit from “a little bit of that good old global warming.”  Now let’s see, if I’m correct here – his Mar-a-Lago estate is only just a few feet above sea level.  Talk about “be careful about what you wish for!”  If I were him, I think I’d make damn sure that top floor Trump Tower penthouse apartment is shipshape and ready to go – that is, unless he plans to take up scuba diving instead of golf.

 

New Dating App Matches Users Based on Their DNA:  A new dating app called “Pheramor” is using DNA compatibility as a basis for its matchmaking algorithm, requiring all users to submit a cheek swab which a team of in-house scientists can sequence in order to determine which users might be sexually compatible.  I guessing that after you’ve turned your love life over to algorithms and in-house scientists, about the only thing left to do is head out on that “let’s get to know each other date” – and pay for it all in Bitcoin.

 

World’s Richest Became $1 Trillion Wealthier in 2017:  While most of the world’s population still struggles to make ends meet, new data shows that the world’s richest individuals increased their wealth by a staggering $1 trillion in 2017.  Yea, its called “trickle-down economics,”  and quite frankly – I find it strangely comforting to know the rich are “trickling-down” on us.

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The post Trump Tweets We Need More Global Warming appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trump Claims He Pulled Out of Time’s Person of the Year

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Person-of-Year.jpg 450w" sizes="(max-width: 225px) 100vw, 225px" />Trump Claims He Pulled Out of Time’s Person of the Year:  President Trump is claiming that Time magazine was contemplating naming him the “Person of the Year” for a second year in a row, but he pulled out of the running because he didn’t want to participate in their interview and photo shoot.  OK, so Donald Trump pulled out of Time’s “Person of the Year!”  Frankly, I think we’d all be a lot better off had his father – Fred Trump – pulled out instead.

 

 

Study Finds Cinnamon Attacks Fat and Fights Obesity:  University of Michigan research finds an essential oil in cinnamon attacks fat cells and could be used as a treatment to fight obesity.  In related news, obesity advocates say cruel “fat shammers” have been caught on video offering cinnamon rolls to plus-sized models.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Donald-and-Tiger.jpg 718w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Critics Say Trump’s Golfing Deters From White House Duties:  President Trump has already done more golfing in his short presidency than Presidents Obama, George W. Bush and Bill Clinton combined, which critics feel has deterred him from his duties as President.  Administration officials counter that nearly all of those duties are still getting completed, only – rather than bother with them himself, the President has outsourced them to the Russians.

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The post Trump Claims He Pulled Out of Time’s Person of the Year appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Employee Accidentally Sets Off Missile Alert in Hawaii

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Emergency-Missile... 750w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Employee Accidentally Sets Off Missile Alert in Hawaii:  A bogus emergency missile alert that was accidentally set off and sent out to everyone in Hawaii – has been determined to have been caused by an employee who mistakenly pushed the wrong button.

 

Gee, an employee accidentally set off the missile alert system?  Makes you wonder, just what the hell was this guy was smok’n?  Oh wait, I think we already know the answer to that – Maui Wowie – but I digress.  All I can say is, its a good thing our President Trump was on the golf course again, or he might have panicked and pushed that “much bigger and much better nuclear button” he has setting on his desk.

 

That said, somebody needs to sit that employee down and have a good talk with him…“Now listen Sparky, let’s go over this one more time – the green button is for all is well and the red button is for…nooooo! – that button says “launch,” not “lunch!”

 

Meanwhile, alt-right conspiracy theorists have been busy insisting that this incident was no accident at all, but an attempt by a blue state to make President Trump look like a fool.  Which sounds ridiculous when you consider that our President doesn’t need any help from blue states to make himself look a fool!

 

Anyway, one interesting thing I noticed was that, even during a frightening situation like this, you don’t hear very many Hawaii residents saying things like “I told you we should have moved to Cleveland instead.”  That said, I think it’ll be interesting to see just how many babies will be born about 9 months from now.

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The post Employee Accidentally Sets Off Missile Alert in Hawaii appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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