Study Finds Mediterranean Diet Only Works If You’re Rich: According to a new study, the so-called “Mediterranean diet” – rich in fruits, vegetables, fish and whole grains and world-famous for being heart-healthy, only seems to provide cardiovascular advantages to the wealthy and highly educated. In response, Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos is urging all America’s young people who wish to live healthy lives to study hard, attend only the most prestigious schools and accept only the best paying jobs society has to offer.
Secret Service Leaves Trump Tower After Feud Over Lease: According to the reports, the Secret Service who are tasked with guarding the President, has vacated their post at Trump Tower in Manhattan after President Trump clashed with the organization “over the terms of a lease for the space they were occupying in the building.” Gee, one would assume a “real” billionaire would comp the rent – given that its for protecting he and his family. Guess instead of taking that proverbial bullet for the President, the Secret Service has decided to take a bullet train the hell out of there. Just as well, maybe the Russians just needed the space anyway.
First Human Embryo Editing Corrects Gene for Heart Condition: Scientists have successfully edited the DNA of human embryos to erase an inherited heart condition known for causing sudden death in young competitive athletes – opening up the possibility of eliminating many inherited and deadly diseases, but also opening up the doors to a controversial new era in medicine. In related news, the Trump Administration announced it has asked Attorney General Sessions to look into the possibility of bringing up the scientists on charges of witchcraft.
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