by JimMcCue

70% of people check their Twitter when they wake up, which is a sign of addiction. I start my day with heroin because I like routine.

Jan 10th, 2017 via twitterStaff Pick

by Ham on Wry

This weekend, I'll be explaining resurrection to my nephew after telling him last year that the Easter Bunny died of a heroin overdose.

Mar 29th, 2018 via twitterStaff Pick

by Ham on Wry

It's said that laughter is the best medicine, but after this election I may have to switch to heroin.

Nov 5th, 2016 via twitter

by Jeff Dwoskin

Hopefully me to my kids #HeroIn5Words

Jul 28th, 2017 via twitter

by Bob Phillips

Spent most of the weekend reading about Harriet Tubman, Anne Frank, Joan of Arc, and Rosa Parks.

I think I'm a heroine addict.

Apr 24th, 2016 via twitterStaff Pick

by Corey Miller

Stay clean, heroin kills people. #HeroIn5Words

Jul 28th, 2017 via twitter

by Erik Bransteen

Did you know Lucky Charms cereal is gluten free?
That's kind of like knowing that heroin is low in cholesterol.

Sep 17th, 2016 via twitterStaff Pick

by Emanuel Zbeda

The opposite of Donald Trump #HeroIn5Words

Jul 28th, 2017 via twitter

by MustBeTheMeds

#LiveFromThe1800s stubbed my toe now i need to go to the store and pick up some heroin

May 21st, 2016 via twitterStaff Pick

by Warren Holstein

How is electing Donald Trump going to solve the drug epidemic when all it makes me want to do is try heroin?

Nov 9th, 2016 via twitter

by Emanuel Zbeda

Gotta shed some light on what it means to be good when the President is a treasonous sexual predator egomaniac. Let's play #HeroIn5Words

Jul 28th, 2017 via twitter

by Casey Rusu

Jeff Sessions said marijuana is only slightly less awful than heroin, which is like saying chocolate is only a bit better than the holocaust

Mar 17th, 2017 via twitterStaff Pick