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Florida Golfer Uses Putter to Escape Alligator’s Grasp

Florida Golfer Uses Putter to Escape Alligator’s Grasp:  A Florida golfer was able to use his putter to escape from an alligator who had grabbed him by the ankle and pulled him waist-deep into the water.  Wow, talk about a tough course with a vicious water hazard!  That 17th hole is a real killer.  Despite the happy ending, the rules committee penalized the guy two strokes for both whacks he unleashed on the gator.

 

Irish County Approves Drunk Driving Permits:  The Kerry County Council in southwest Ireland has passed a controversial measure allowing special permits for driving in sparsely populated areas while intoxicated.  Good grief, some communities will do almost anything to attract Hollywood celebrities.  I guess only the Irish could come up with the concept of a “designated drunk driver.”

 

Trump Translation Device Not On for Japan PM’s Speech:  White House deputy press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders admitted President Trump was not wearing a translation earpiece as he laughed, nodded and appeared to be listening intently during remarks from Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe.  No big deal!  Hell, its doubtful Trump would have understood anything anyway, even if Abe was speaking in English.  Not to mention, that after about a paragraph or two, Trump’s attention span could probably be found wandering off somewhere just north of the Yucatán Peninsula.

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The post Florida Golfer Uses Putter to Escape Alligator’s Grasp appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Washington Post Dinosaur Comment Angers Creationist Ken Ham

Washington Post Dinosaur Comment Angers Creationist Ken Ham:  Creationist Ken Ham is reportedly very upset and telling the Washington Post to “get it right,” after they incorrectly reported that Ham believes the dinosaurs were wiped out by the flood when he actually believes that Noah brought all the dinosaurs on board the Ark with him.  Well of course the dinosaurs and humans lived at the same time.  Hell, there’s even a wonderful documentary on the subject titled “The Flintstones.”  Personally, I think I’ll wait to hear what Donald Trump has to say on the subject as he always seems to have “the very best” ideas about everything.  Besides, I think former Australian Ken Ham is a classic example of how the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) can go awry.

 

Trump Questions the Need for Cybersecurity:  In recent remarks, President-elect Donald Trump has been questioning the need for cybersecurity and claiming that no computer is completely safe – alarming experts who say his comments could put both government and private data at risk.  Why all this cybersecurity talk is nothing but silly nonsense.  If you listen to those guys long enough, you could could get the impression the Russians hacked into our computers or something.  Now how about playing some music for me on my 8-track.

 

Vandals Change Iconic Hollywood Sign to Hollyweed:  The iconic “Hollywood” sign got a New Year’s Day makeover from an unknown vandal who used a black tarp to transform the letters into a message celebrating marijuana by making the sign read “Hollyweed.”  Police have arrested a man who claims he was just too drunk to remember.

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The post Washington Post Dinosaur Comment Angers Creationist Ken Ham appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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JFK Opens New $65 million Pet Terminal

JFK Opens New $65 million Pet Terminal:  New York’s JFK airport has just opened a new $65 million 178,000-square-foot animal terminal called “The Ark at JFK,” a pet oasis which includes splash pools, massage therapy, overnight kennels, vaccine and micro-chipping services, 24/7 emergency care and and in-house pet spa.  That’s just “plane” crazy.  Hell, makes me wanna run right out and get micro-chipped.  Who the hell wants to sit on one of those cold, hard JFK terminal benches when you got that kind of luxury just down the way?

 

Annual NYC Whiskey Walk Coming Next Month:  The annual NYC Whiskey Walk will take place this March 4th, with participants enjoying the best of Ireland’s premium whiskeys at eight of NYC’s leading bars.  Yea, well after hammering down Irish Whiskey at eight different bars, let’s just see how many of the participants in this so-called “Whiskey Walk” will still be walking!

 

Utah Republican Argues Equal Pay for Women Bad for Society:  In a recent letter to the editor, the vice chair of the Wasatch County Republican Party in Utah argued that equal pay for women is bad for families and society and that paying women equally would ruin the makeup of a traditional family where “the mother” remains at home raising children.  And to think that all this time I just assumed Jurassic Park was only a Hollywood movie and that all the dinosaurs were really dead.

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The post JFK Opens New $65 million Pet Terminal appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Pet Rats Linked to Seoul Virus Outbreak

Pet Rats Linked to Seoul Virus Outbreak:  The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention confirmed Friday that pet rats are the source of an outbreak of Seoul virus infections in Illinois and Wisconsin.  Local media reports the virus outbreak has led some rat owners to verbally abuse their pets, with some going so far as to call them horrible, hurtful names like “you dirty rats!”

 

Iowa to Allow Blind People to Carry Guns in Public:  Iowa has passed legislation which will allow blind residents to acquire guns and to carry these firearms in public.  While it seems a bit unsettling, I suppose its less dangerous than allowing “blond people” to carry firearms.  Personally, I have no issue with blind people firing a gun, its just the aiming I’m a little concerned about.

 

New Report on iPhone 8’s Facial Recognition Feature:  A new report has surfaced indicating that Apple’s next-gen iPhone may include an advanced form of facial recognition technology, capable of even discerning specific emotional states.  In addition, Apple is reportedly planning to issue a disclaimer – cautioning Hollywood celebrities that their facelifts and botox treatments could very well render their phone’s facial recognition features completely useless.

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The post Pet Rats Linked to Seoul Virus Outbreak appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

New York Thief Grabs Pot of Gold Off Armored Truck

gold-thiefNew York Thief Grabs Pot of Gold Off Armored Truck:  New York police are searching for a green-clad man who swiped an 86-pound pail of gold flakes off an armored truck and then disappeared with the estimated $1.6 million in treasure.  Police say a dog may have assisted in the heist, adding that their guess is it was most likely a golden retriever.

 

playboyPlaymate Booked for Methamphetamine Possession:  A former Playboy Playmate has been booked for felony possession of methamphetamine after being stopped for running a stop sign in Hollywood.  The former model claimed everything seemed to be happening so fast, she didn’t even notice the stop sign.

 

oldest-personWorld’s Oldest Person Marks 117th Birthday:  Emma Morano, thought to be the world’s oldest person and the last person alive born in the 1800’s, celebrated her 117th birthday in Italy, still swearing by her diet of two raw eggs a day.  I love hearing stories like this because I intend to live forever and I gotta tell ya – so far, so good.

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The post New York Thief Grabs Pot of Gold Off Armored Truck appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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