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Florida Golfer Uses Putter to Escape Alligator’s Grasp

Florida Golfer Uses Putter to Escape Alligator’s Grasp:  A Florida golfer was able to use his putter to escape from an alligator who had grabbed him by the ankle and pulled him waist-deep into the water.  Wow, talk about a tough course with a vicious water hazard!  That 17th hole is a real killer.  Despite the happy ending, the rules committee penalized the guy two strokes for both whacks he unleashed on the gator.

 

Irish County Approves Drunk Driving Permits:  The Kerry County Council in southwest Ireland has passed a controversial measure allowing special permits for driving in sparsely populated areas while intoxicated.  Good grief, some communities will do almost anything to attract Hollywood celebrities.  I guess only the Irish could come up with the concept of a “designated drunk driver.”

 

Trump Translation Device Not On for Japan PM’s Speech:  White House deputy press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders admitted President Trump was not wearing a translation earpiece as he laughed, nodded and appeared to be listening intently during remarks from Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe.  No big deal!  Hell, its doubtful Trump would have understood anything anyway, even if Abe was speaking in English.  Not to mention, that after about a paragraph or two, Trump’s attention span could probably be found wandering off somewhere just north of the Yucatán Peninsula.

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The post Florida Golfer Uses Putter to Escape Alligator’s Grasp appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Washington Post Dinosaur Comment Angers Creationist Ken Ham

Washington Post Dinosaur Comment Angers Creationist Ken Ham:  Creationist Ken Ham is reportedly very upset and telling the Washington Post to “get it right,” after they incorrectly reported that Ham believes the dinosaurs were wiped out by the flood when he actually believes that Noah brought all the dinosaurs on board the Ark with him.  Well of course the dinosaurs and humans lived at the same time.  Hell, there’s even a wonderful documentary on the subject titled “The Flintstones.”  Personally, I think I’ll wait to hear what Donald Trump has to say on the subject as he always seems to have “the very best” ideas about everything.  Besides, I think former Australian Ken Ham is a classic example of how the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) can go awry.

 

Trump Questions the Need for Cybersecurity:  In recent remarks, President-elect Donald Trump has been questioning the need for cybersecurity and claiming that no computer is completely safe – alarming experts who say his comments could put both government and private data at risk.  Why all this cybersecurity talk is nothing but silly nonsense.  If you listen to those guys long enough, you could could get the impression the Russians hacked into our computers or something.  Now how about playing some music for me on my 8-track.

 

Vandals Change Iconic Hollywood Sign to Hollyweed:  The iconic “Hollywood” sign got a New Year’s Day makeover from an unknown vandal who used a black tarp to transform the letters into a message celebrating marijuana by making the sign read “Hollyweed.”  Police have arrested a man who claims he was just too drunk to remember.

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The post Washington Post Dinosaur Comment Angers Creationist Ken Ham appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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Daniel Day-Lewis Announces Retirement From Acting

Daniel Day-Lewis Announces Retirement From Acting:  Daniel Day-Lewis, one of the most revered actors in Hollywood history, has announced his retirement from acting.  Good for him and we all wish him well – now if he could just have a chat with Adam Sandler before he leaves.

 

Doctor Diagnoses Man With Homosexual Behavior:  NBC is reporting that a 45-year-old Los Angeles man who went for a physical found a diagnosis of “homosexual behavior” listed under “chronic conditions” on his chart.  Gee, wonder if a “condition” like that means he’s now eligible to buy medical marijuana?

 

Thief Drops Urn With Freud’s Ashes in Failed Burglary:  Police say a thief who tried to steal an ancient urn containing the ashes of Sigmund Freud from a London crematorium, dropped it while trying to climb over a gate.  I’m no psychotherapist, but it sure sounds like classic a “Freudian Slip” to me.

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The post Daniel Day-Lewis Announces Retirement From Acting appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Iranian Cleric Blames Women’s Outfits for Earthquakes

earthquakesIranian Cleric Blames Women’s Outfits for Earthquakes:  A senior cleric in Iran warns that a terrible earthquake is on the way and that it’s all because of women who wear revealing clothing.  Get real!  I mean if women wearing skimpy outfits really caused earthquakes, wouldn’t Hollywood be getting devastated by massive temblors on a daily basis?

 

marsMars Mission Astronauts Could Experience Brain Damage:  A new study found that Mars mission astronauts could experience brain damage due to harmful radiation from galactic cosmic rays.  To minimize the impact, only former NFL players will be allowed to apply.

 

marlee-matlinMarlee Matlin Responds To Trump Calling Her Retarded:  Oscar-winning actress Marlee Matlin took to Twitter to address recent reports that Donald Trump mocked her out for being deaf during her stint as a contestant on Celebrity Apprentice, and referred to her as “retarded.”  Ironically, when it comes to Trump supporters, all of this is gonna fall on deaf ears.

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The post Iranian Cleric Blames Women’s Outfits for Earthquakes appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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