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Believers Gather at First Ever Flat-Earth Conference

Believers Gather at First Ever Flat-Earth Conference:  The first-ever Flat Earth International Conference, aimed at disputing the idea that the world is round, has just wrapped up in North Carolina.  Gee, I was gonna attend, but I never got “around” to it.  OK, I really didn’t go because I was flat-broke.  Besides, what on Earth do they hope to accomplish anyway?  Don’t they know there’s nothing new under the sun?  Personally, I think a lot of guys just go to these conferences hoping to meet women by pretending to believe, but the women know its just flattery.

 

Only 10% of Americans Eat Enough Fruits and Vegetables:  According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), only a sliver (1 in 10) of Americans eat enough fresh fruits and vegetables.  The CDC warns that if the trend continues, they may be forced to implement a “no dessert until you eat all the veggies on your plate policy.”

 

Ohio Judge Brags About Having Sex With 50 Very Attractive Females:  An Ohio Supreme Court justice who is running for governor tried to get ahead of any Al Franken-type allegations of sexual misconduct against him by bragging in detail about his sexual conquests.  Yea, let me guess – they were all hookers?  But come on, you know he’s lying.  Everyone knows there’s not 50 attractive women in Ohio.  Especially when they remove their dentures.

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The post Believers Gather at First Ever Flat-Earth Conference appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Awakening Supervolcano Threatening Naples Area

Awakening Supervolcano Threatening Naples Area:  Scientists have discovered a “hot zone” feeding the Campi Flegrei supervolcano near Naples in southern Italy, prompting fears it is nearing eruption – threatening catastrophe for the 1.5 million people living in the region.  In a series of angry early morning tweets, President Trump warned that an attack on an ally like Italy would be considered an attack on the United States and promised to bomb the volcano into kingdom come if it continued to threaten this beautiful country and home to such great historical figures like Benito Mussolini.

 

Woman With Two Vaginas Turns Down $1 Million Porn Offer:  A 27-year-old British woman who was born with two vaginas, has turned down a $1 million offer from a US adult film production company to star in one of their porn films.  Ironically, this is probably the only person alive who could technically be both a prostitute and a virgin at the same time.

 

Rabbit Sets World Record For Dunking Basketballs:  A 5-year-old Holland Lop rabbit, who was trained to dunk basketballs by his caretaker Shai Asor, has just set a Guinness World Record for rabbits with seven dunks in one minute.  All I can say is, keep playing basketball like that and the next thing you know, he’ll be getting marriage proposals from the Kardashians.

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The post Awakening Supervolcano Threatening Naples Area appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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