by ianpauldukes

[the climate future]

ME: Jim Gaffigan used to do a funny bit about Hot Pockets.

KIDS: We don’t know what that is Grandpa.

ME: Oh right nowadays they’re just called Pockets.

Nov 1st, 2019 via twitterStaff Pick

by Markey Macias

"Don't eat eggs because they're baby chickens!!!"

You eat pizza rolls and those are baby Hot Pockets. Practice what you preach, BITCH.

Apr 15th, 2018 via twitterStaff Pick

by Warren Holstein

The beef processor cited in the Hot Pockets recall sold meat from cows with eye cancer. Which is fine if you think of microwaving as chemo.

Mar 6th, 2014 via twitterStaff Pick

by Jeff Dwoskin

An explosion at a Hot Pockets factory causes a zombie apocalypse & only Jim can save the world! #GaffiganFinalePredictions #Gaffiganshow

Sep 24th, 2015 via twitter

by Erik Bransteen

#HotPockets recalled for “diseased animal contents.” Diseased animal contents. Or as Hot Pockets call it—“ingredients”

Feb 19th, 2014 via twitterStaff Pick

by Warren Holstein

Kellyanne Conway has accused a microwaved package of Hot Pockets with treason.

Mar 13th, 2017 via twitterStaff Pick

by Gabby Cochran

Friendly reminder that calzones are just pretentious hot pockets.

May 17th, 2017 via twitterStaff Pick

by Gary Bachman

Police say man stole chicken wings and Hot Pockets

Police said a 22-year-old man broke into an apartment and stole  $82 worth of chicken wings and Hot Pockets.  The man then broke into a drugstore and stole $82 worth of Kaopectate.

Apr 17th, 2009Staff Pick

by Phill Spittle

75% of men use 90% of their cargo short pockets to accommodate 50% of their hot pockets.

Jun 15th, 2019 via twitterStaff Pick

by IGotsSmarts

Some people like eating Hot Pockets. I prefer eating pockets that have a nice personality.

Feb 10th, 2016 via twitterStaff Pick

by Dan Regan

Hot Pockets are the reason we grew up without the first five layers of skin on the roof of our mouth.

May 3rd, 2021 via twitter

by Nick Jack Pappas

Pizza Rolls - Babies
Hot Pockets - Teenagers
Calzones - Introverted Adults
Pizzas - Extroverted Adults

Feb 25th, 2020 via twitter