Sunday , 28 May 2017
News Alert!
  • Welcome to our new mobile friendly theme!
  • Try clicking on a comedian's picture in their joke or video!
  • Check out our awesome sharing options!
  • Click on the topic picture in a joke or video for more on that topic
  • Youtube import is working again!
Home > Jokes >

Illinois

How Recent: 1 Year
Staff Picks
My Comics
Show Everyting

Attorney General Sessions Insults State of Hawaii

Attorney General Sessions Insults State of Hawaii:  US Attorney General Jeff Sessions set off a firestorm after issuing an insulting dismissal of America’s 50th state, expressing astonishment that a judge “who sits on an island in the Pacific” could dare hold up American President Trump’s travel ban – making some wonder if he was even aware that Hawaii is a state.  Sure, Hawaii has been a state since 1959, but in Sessions’ defense, he’s still living in the year 1950.  That said, Hawaii shouldn’t take it too personally, Sessions doesn’t recognize any states which were added after the Missouri Compromise.  And on a positive note, at least he had the ocean correct.

 

Newly Discovered Exoplanet May Be Best Candidate for Life:  Scientists say a newly discovered exoplanet, some 40 light-years from Earth, may be the best place to look for signs of life outside our Solar System.  Uh oh, space aliens just 40 light-years away?  Sounds like the Trump Administration may need a bigger wall.

 

Lawsuit Claims Bose Headphones Spying on Customers:  An Illinois man has filed a class-action lawsuit, accusing high-end audio equipment maker Bose of spying on its users and selling information about their playlists and listening habits without permission.  And who can blame him?  I mean, who wants the general public to know your favorite music group is The Village People?

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Attorney General Sessions Insults State of Hawaii appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
Laugh Blast!
jokes and videos in your inbox

Site Tip!

Did you know that all these joke and video posts are really comedian trading cards? Try clicking on a comedian's picture in their post and watch the magic.

Wife and Stepson Held in KKK Wizard’s Murder

Wife and Stepson Held in KKK Wizard’s Murder:  The wife of Missouri KKK leader Frank Ancona, who married him in full Klan costume, has been arrested for his murder.  She claims she doesn’t remember anything as she had been drinking and was “two sheets” to the wind.

 

Massive Supernova Visible From Millions of Light Years Away:  In astronomy news, scientists on Palomar Mountain have captured the early death of a massive star that was torn apart in a violent explosion which actually took place 160 million years ago.  My question is, if it happened 160 million years ago, how can it be considered news?  Does CNN have someone posted 160 million light years away reporting on this stuff?  And while some are concerned about radiation from the gamma bursts, I’ll be just fine because I’m posting this from under my duvet.

 

Playboy Returns to Nudity in March/April 2017 Issue:  After dropping its nude pictorials back in 2015, the men’s lifestyle magazine is bringing them back in its March/April 2017 issue featuring topless Playmate Elizabeth Elam as Miss March 2017 – along with the headline “Naked is normal.”  Guess someone finally figured out that no one actually READS Playboy magazine.  All part of the “Make America Great Again” plan I suppose.  Now, everyone can cancel their National Geographic subscriptions again.  On a positive note, thank God there’s still no nudity in Oprah and Gwyneth Paltrow’s magazines.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

The post Wife and Stepson Held in KKK Wizard’s Murder appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

Read More
Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Site Tip!

Did you know that we have thousands of comedy topics? You can click on the large topic image in a joke or video for more hilarity on that subject or use the search to find what you are looking for.

Today's Featured Hot Topics

Most Popular