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Trump Lashes Out at Puerto Rico Mayor

Trump Lashes Out at Puerto Rico Mayor:  After receiving criticism for his administration’s slow response to the humanitarian crisis in Puerto Rico, Donald Trump lashed out at San Juan’s mayor by complaining that “they want everything to be done for them.”

 

Maybe he has a point.  I mean – come on, it isn’t as if they just suffered massive infrastructure damage, loss of life, have no electricity, very little safe drinking water, food shortages and toxic sewage is overflowing out all over the place.   Oh wait…

 

When reporters questioned whether Mr Trump could truly relate to the suffering in Puerto Rico, an angry White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders told reporters “the President knows exactly what its like to be out of water and electricity, pointing out that he was once out golfing on one of his golf courses, only to discover somewhere around the 13th hole that he was completely out of bottled water.”

 

“To make matters worse, his cellphone battery was completely dead – making it impossible for him to call and have someone replenish his stock.  Finding himself to be extremely thirsty, the President had no alternative but to drink right out of one of those dirty public drinking fountains.  Don’t tell me our President doesn’t know hardship!”

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The post Trump Lashes Out at Puerto Rico Mayor appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

White House Admits Trump Weighed In on Son’s Misleading Statement

White House Admits Trump Weighed In on Son’s Misleading Statement:  White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders admitted that President Trump “weighed in” on the misleading statement issued by his son, but denied that the President dictated his son’s statement.  Hell, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that if you want Trump to own up to writing the statement, all you have to do is tell him it was “brilliantly written.”

 

NASA Hiring Planetary Protection Officer to Defend Earth from Aliens:  NASA is seeking to hire a full-time “planetary protection officer,” a job which pays $187,000 and will involve ensuring that humans in space do not contaminate planets and moons, as well as ensuring alien matter does not infect the Earth.  My question is, how would you measure job performance on a gig like that?  Anyway, I understand Randy Quaid is looking for a job.  Just hand him a lightsaber and set him loose.

 

Kanye West Sues Lloyd’s Over Canceled Tour Insurance:  Rapper Kanye West has filed a $10 million lawsuit against Lloyd’s of London, alleging that Lloyd’s is withholding paying out claims from the rapper’s canceled Saint Pablo tour which was abruptly ended after West began delivering bizarre rants about Jay-Z, Beyoncé and then-president-elect Donald Trump before finally checking into a UCLA psychiatric facility.  The way I look at it, Lloyd’s actually insured Kanye West?  Now you tell me who’s crazy.

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The post White House Admits Trump Weighed In on Son’s Misleading Statement appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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