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Kim Kardashian

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Scientists Concerned Earth’s Magnetic Poles About to Flip

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Earths-Magnetic-F... 438w" sizes="(max-width: 248px) 100vw, 248px" />Scientists Concerned Earth’s Magnetic Poles About to Flip:  Scientists say the Earth’s magnetic poles appear to be ready to flip for the first time in 780,000 years, which could allow in lethal levels of radiation and cause a cascading mass blackout of the power grid – ultimately rendering areas of the planet uninhabitable.

 

Good grief, if the Earth’s magnetic fields do get reversed, does that mean we’ll all need to retrain our toilets?  I’m just asking for a friend.  And will the Earth actually flip, or will it flop?  Before you laugh all this off as complete nonsense, wasn’t this the same message they gave the inhabitants of Krypton?  Think about that my friend.  I mean, if you think your GPS gets you lost now…

 

One thing’s for sure, if the Earth does flip – Trump will claim credit for it.  Either that, or if it doesn’t work out so well, he’ll blame it on the Mexicans.  I mean, he’s already begun telling supporters that “true north was nothing but a big fat lie.”  Personally, I think there’s pretty good evidence that Trump may have already flipped.  On a positive note, in an attempt to offset any possible polarity reversals, politicians in Washington have already begun talking backwards.

 

But thinking about how parts the Earth may eventually become uninhabitable, makes me realize that communities like Cleveland were actually way ahead of their time.  I’m from that area originally, and it kind of makes me proud.  That said, there are, of course, gonna be some negatives – like we’d all better get used to the idea of walking on our ceilings.  And needing to use a mirror to read our compasses.  And of course, Kim and Kayne will inevitably have to rename their first child which they called North West.

 

And while I’m no scientist, I think this whole mess could be easily avoided.  I mean, if the Earth is really bipolar – why not just send it to a therapist or give it some lithium before its too late?  Isn’t it time we start thinking about just what the hell is Keith Richards supposed to do after everybody else is gone from the face of the Earth?

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The post Scientists Concerned Earth’s Magnetic Poles About to Flip appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trump Administration Facing Criticism For Ignoring National Parks

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Rodeo-Drive.jpg 650w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Trump Administration Facing Criticism For Ignoring National Parks:  Environmentalists are heaping loads of criticism on the Trump Administration for ignoring our deteriorating National Park Service.  An Administration spokesperson disputes the claim, pointing out that President Trump has even expanded out National Park system – by recently declaring the famed shopping district surrounding Rodeo Drive as the “Kim Kardashian National Park.”

 

Marriage May Help Reduce Risk of Dementia:  Being married could help stave off dementia, as a new study suggests that single people have a 42% elevated risk of the disease.  In related news, 42% of married people said they wished they had dementia.

 

Bird Organization Claims Cats and Not Wind Turbines Killing Birds:  The American Bird Conservancy is claiming that its actually cats and not the often-blamed wind turbines who are killing birds, pointing out that cats kill 500 million birds each year as opposed to only 440,000 birds killed by wind turbines.  And in areas where they use cats to operate the wind turbines – well, birds just might as well forget about it.

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The post Trump Administration Facing Criticism For Ignoring National Parks appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Pastors Say God Punishing Texas for Not Passing Anti-Trans Bathroom Bill

Pastors Say God Punishing Texas for Not Passing Anti-Trans Bathroom Bill:  Several pastors this week have been claiming Hurricane Harvey is God’s way of punishing Houston for not passing an Anti-Trans Bathroom Bill and for having “a very, very aggressively pro-homosexual mayor.”  Wait a minute – Canada passed laws protecting gay and trans rights.  Makes you wonder, what the hell does Canada need to do to get noticed by the almighty?

 

Kim Kardashian Says Daughter Would Make Better President:  In a new interview with Harper’s Bazaar Arabia, reality star Kim Kardashian expressed strong feelings about Donald Trump’s presidency, claiming that her daughter would make a better president.  Political experts say that while that statement is basically true, her daughter’s presidency would not be valid for the entire country, but only the North West.

 

Four Earth-sized Exoplanets May Have Large Quantities of Water:  Scientists say four of seven mysterious worlds orbiting a nearby star named Trappist-1, might very well have large quantities of water, offering a tantalizing boost to the possibility of finding life beyond our solar system.  I’m not so sure about the alien life, but this sure sounds like great news for bottled water companies as well as those who enjoy taking long showers.  As for me, I think I’ll just stay here on Earth.  I tend to get bored on long trips, especially the ones that take over 159,000 years.

 

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The post Pastors Say God Punishing Texas for Not Passing Anti-Trans Bathroom Bill appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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President Trump Speaks to the President of US Virgin Islands

President Trump Speaks to the President of US Virgin Islands:  President Trump turned some heads recently when he told attendees of a Values Voter Summit in Washington that he had just spoken to the president of US Virgin Islands,” which would actually be himself.  One thing’s for sure, I’ll bet it didn’t take the President of the US Virgin Islands very long to figure out whether President Trump would score higher on an IQ test than Secretary of State Tillerson.

 

Kim Kardashian Claims She’s Suffering From Body Dysmorphia:  Kim Kardashian recently complained on her reality show that all those people body shamming her are giving her “body dysmorphia.”  Gee, if that’s the case, its a good thing she’s not one of those people who’s constantly posting half-nude photos of herself all over the internet.

 

Feline Mayor of Alaska Town Dies at Age 20:  Stubbs the cat, who was elected mayor of Talkeetna, Alaska in a write-in campaign way back in 1998, has died at the age of 20.  My sympathies go out to the cat and the local townsfolk, but come on – this is a serious conflict of interest to put a cat in charge of the city’s dog catchers.

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The post President Trump Speaks to the President of US Virgin Islands appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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