You know it's Thanksgiving because . . .
Michael Vick organizes turkey fights
Barry Bonds injects himself with cranberry sauce
O.J. Simpson steals the mashed potatoes
Paris Hilton uses a turkey baster in a scene from her latest porn video
Turkey is on the Bush menu--it's the next country he plans to invade
Dog the Bounty Hunter uses an epithet when asked if he would like any dark meat
Dick Cheney goes turkey hunting and bags a turkey when he accidently shoots himself
Senator Larry Craig is in a Boise public restroom doing the turkey trot
The Clinton's turkey hasn't thawed--and neither has Hillary
The captain of the Cosco Busan knocks over the gravy boat and causes a huge spill
Lindsay Lohan enjoys Wild Turkey at her favorite club
HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO RAY ELLIN, STEVE SILBERBERG, PETE CZECH, AND ALL THE WONDERFUL CONTRIBUTORS TO THIS GREAT COMEDY FORUM.