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Lawyer

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Tomi Lahren Accuses Liberals of Brainwashing Teens into Eating Tide Pods

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Conservative-Tomi... 508w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Tomi Lahren Accuses Liberals of Brainwashing Teens into Eating Tide Pods:  Fox News conservative Tomi Lahren is angry about the recent trend among teens filming themselves eating Tide Pods – and she’s putting the blame directly on liberals, whom she claims are have destroyed the American family.  One a positive note, a liberal spokesperson maintains that the Tide detergent in the pods being used to destroy the American family are actually a “low-suds Tide,” so they won’t destroy the environment while they’re destroying the American family.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Robert-Mueller-76... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Robert-Mueller-10... 1024w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Robert-Mueller.jpg 1180w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />NY Times Claims Trump Order Firing of Mueller:  According to the New York Times, Donald Trump reportedly sought to fire special counsel Robert Mueller, but relented after the White House’s top attorney threatened to resign.  When asked about the revelation, the Republican congressional leadership said they prefer to think of Mueller’s work as yet another job that President Trump has created.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Nikki-Haley-768x5... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Nikki-Haley.jpg 1024w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Nikki Haley Denies Rumors of Affair With Donald Trump:  US Ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley is calling rumors implying she had an affair with President Trump as just “disgusting.”  Well, I do agree with her that the thought of someone having an affair with Donald Trump is certainly disgusting.

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The post Tomi Lahren Accuses Liberals of Brainwashing Teens into Eating Tide Pods appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trump Lawyer Arranged $130K Hush Money to Keep Porn Star Quiet

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Daniels-and-Trump... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Daniels-and-Trump... 808w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Trump Lawyer Arranged $130K Hush Money to Keep Porn Star Quiet:  The Wall Street Journal is reporting that a lawyer for Donald Trump arranged a $130,000 payment to former porn star Stormy Daniels one month before the 2016 election in an effort to keep her silent about an alleged sexual encounter with the future President.

 

Gee, who could’ve ever imagined a day when a report about the President of the United States paying out $130,000 in hush money to a hooker would only be the 3rd most embarrassing story about him that day?  Hell, its getting to the point where even Charlie Sheen has more moral authority than this guy – winning!  Of course, I’m sure Trump’s pals over at Fox and Friends will be asking “so what’s wrong with banging porn stars and paying them hush money?”

 

To be fair, Republicans are quick to point out that Stormy Daniels is denying that the payout ever happened.  I’m sure she is.  I mean, isn’t that why they call these payouts “hush money?”  That said, Trump must have assumed that because her name is Stormy – there’d be a good chance of showers – Golden Showers.  In fact, rumor has it she’s busy writing a book about her experiences with the President entitled “Urine The White House Now.”

 

Anyway, if I’m doing the math correctly, this $130,000 payout means Trump is paying out over $100,000 per inch – or, put another way – $60,000 a minute for her services.  But come on – $130,000?  And they say nobody pays for porn anymore!  So much for Donald Trump’s superior negotiating skills.

 

One thing’s for sure, you can bet Republican Values Voters are gonna be just furious about this…just kidding!  Apparently Values Voters interpret Two Corinthians as saying “it’s perfectly fine to cheat on your wife with adult film stars, just as long as you pay them off properly.”  After all, nothing says “family values” like paying hush money to a porn star.  One thing’s for sure, all these scandals are likely to make poor Melania squint her eyes even more than she already does.

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The post Trump Lawyer Arranged $130K Hush Money to Keep Porn Star Quiet appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Baby Born From Embryo Frozen 24 Years Ago

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Baby-from-Embyro.jpg 750w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Baby Born From Embryo Frozen 24 Years Ago:  A 26-year-old American woman has given birth to a baby that grew from an embryo frozen 24 years earlier, in what could be a record length between the donating of an embryo and the delivery of a child.  All I can say is, this poor kid has to have one hell of a confusing birth certificate.  I mean, if Trump thought Obama’s birth certificate was a problem, this outta make his head spin right off.  And considering its Tennessee, I’m rather surprised she hasn’t been summoned for jury duty by now.  That said, the parents insist the child is doing quite well and is already asking permission to watch old episodes of “Friends.”

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Beetle-Penis-768x... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Beetle-Penis-1024... 1024w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Beetle-Penis.jpg 1300w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Beetle Penises Hold Clues For Better Medical Devices:  Researchers at Kiel University in Germany say the stiffness of beetle penises may help solve an engineering problem people who design medical catheters have had for a long time – how do you keep a very thin tube flexible enough to snake into hard-to-reach area, but still remain rigid enough to withstand insertion?  In related news, lawyers for research beetles with hard, but flexible penises – have just announced a $4 million sexual harassment suit against Kiel University in Germany.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Lanternsharks-768... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Lanternsharks-102... 1024w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Lanternsharks.jpg 1210w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />New Species of Glow in the Dark Sharks Discovered in Hawaii:  Earlier this year, a new species of deepwater shark who’s underbelly glows in the dark, was discovered in waters surrounding the Northwestern Hawaiian Islands.  The light works as camouflage and helps them to hunt, communicate and find sexual partners.  Gee, must be one of those Fukushima sharks.  They have a certain glow about them.  As if the world situation isn’t bad enough, and now they’re telling me that light at the end of the tunnel may turn out to be a shark?

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The post Baby Born From Embryo Frozen 24 Years Ago appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trump Lawyer Claims $130K Stormy Daniels Payout His Money

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Michael-Cohen-768... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/Michael-Cohen-102... 1024w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Trump Lawyer Claims $130K Stormy Daniels Payout His Money:  President Donald Trump’s personal attorney Michael Cohen is now claiming that the $130,000 payout to adult film actress Stormy Daniels came from his own pocket.

 

No kidding?  Hell, I can’t even get lawyers to take my phone calls, let alone pay off hookers.  Must be nice.  But I suppose its all in a day’s work when you’re the lawyer for a stable genius and this $130K – is all part of Cohen’s plan for “Paying It Forward.”

 

Anyway, funny how after the check cleared, Ms Daniels seemed to quickly transition herself from “Stormy” to “partly cloudy.”  I mean, who knew weather patterns could change that quickly?

 

And isn’t it interesting how Trump seems to stiff everyone he’s ever dealt with except porn stars?  That’s probably because in order to stiff them, he’d need to swallow buckets full of Viagra.  And if Viagra was in fact involved, I guess that would mean Mr Trump has learned his lesson the hard way.

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The post Trump Lawyer Claims $130K Stormy Daniels Payout His Money appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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