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Strangers on Delta Flight Caught Having Oral Sex in Their Seats

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Delta-Airlines.jpg 384w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Strangers on Delta Flight Caught Having Oral Sex in Their Seats:  A 28-year-old man and a 48-year-old woman – who had just met while sitting next to each other on a Delta flight from Los Angeles to Detroit – face possible felony charges after the woman was caught in the act of giving oral sex to the male passenger.

 

Wow, I have to admit that before I looked at their ages, I was thinking “why would Harvey Weinstein be flying to Detroit?”  That said, this was kind of a creative way to use-up those air miles travel points.  I mean, who needs Pornhub when you can just grab yourself a quick flight to Detroit?  And to think industry analysts were just reporting how hard its been for airlines to fill up their flights to Detroit…not anymore!

 

But come on, all kidding aside – this was rather inconsiderate on the part of these two.  I mean, suppose one of the other passengers sitting nearby had a “nut” allergy?  That said, several passengers did remark about how this was certainly a hell of a lot more entertaining than those crappy in-flight movies.  Regardless, everyone knows passengers are not supposed to have full access to the cockpit during a flight.  And even if the plane were going down, that doesn’t necessarily mean the passengers have to.

 

Anyway, after being caught in the act, flight attendants instructed the female passenger to “please return her fellow passenger to his upright position.”  Of course, if this guy was really smart, he should have just thrown his jacket over her head and claimed she was simply having a set of mild seizures.  Meanwhile, after the plane landed, an attorney for the female passenger told reporters her defense would likely be “if the mouth doesn’t fit, you must acquit.”

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The post Strangers on Delta Flight Caught Having Oral Sex in Their Seats appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Gwyneth Paltrow Opens Stylish Goop Store in Brentwood

Gwyneth Paltrow Opens Stylish Goop Store in Brentwood:  Gwyneth Paltrow’s stylish, long-awaited Goop standalone store has opened its doors at the super-trendy Brentwood Country Mart in Los Angeles.  Gee, and to think all this time I just assumed “Goop” was the stuff doctors were finding between Gwyneth Paltrow’s ears.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Bowl-of-Nuts-300x... 300w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Bowl-of-Nuts-768x... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Bowl-of-Nuts.jpg 1000w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" />New Study Claims Eating Nuts is Very Beneficial to Health:  A new report published found that adults who incorporate nuts into their diets don’t need to limit consumption and that eating nuts helped reduce waist size by more than half an inch.  That said, researchers had to admit that while eating nuts may make you healthy, sitting next to one on a plane is no fun at all.

 

Mathematics Predicts Another Mass Extinction by 2100:  A professor of geophysics at MIT has completed a mathematical model which predicts the Earth will undergo another mass extinction by the year 2100.  I don’t know about that, but I’ve just completed my own mathematical computations and determined my finances have already completely disappeared from the face of the Earth.

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The post Gwyneth Paltrow Opens Stylish Goop Store in Brentwood appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Madonna Reveals to Fans She’s Moved to Portugal

Madonna Reveals to Fans She’s Moved to Portugal:  Madonna has informed her fans on social media that she’s relocated to Portugal for the foreseeable future, with the 59-year-old star adding that she moved there after falling in love with the “energy.”  Well, I suppose if she ever gets bored in Portugal, she can always buy herself a few more orphans – assuming Angelina Jolie hasn’t already snatched them all up.

 

Evangelical Leaders Blaming Gays for Hurricane Harvey:  LGBTQ Americans have caused the country billions of dollars in structural damage, killed dozens of people, and displaced thousands more from their homes, according to evangelical figures who are claiming gay people caused Hurricane Harvey.  Really?  While I’m no meteorologist, I get a sense that even with Hurricane Harvey’s 140 MPH wind gusts, the storm would still have a hard time competing with these windbags.

 

Rare September Rainstorm Hits Los Angeles Area:  Heaven help us! It’s actually raining here in Calabasas (West San Fernando Valley in LA) in September. What kind of crazy, mixed up world are we living in anyway? Those people in Houston think they’ve got it bad, why people here in LA are getting their hair all wet and ruining hairdos everywhere I look. Oh, the humanity!

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The post Madonna Reveals to Fans She’s Moved to Portugal appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trump Calls Out Alt-Left for Charlottesville Violence

Trump Calls Out Alt-Left for Charlottesville Violence:  In perhaps his most bizarre press conference yet, President Donald Trump once again refused to forcefully denounce white supremacist protesters, instead basically laying blame for the Charlottesville violence on what he described as the “alt-left,” and then took some time to also promote his Virginia winery.  Wow, that was quick.  Donald must’ve taken a nice lunch meeting with Steve Bannon.  So if I understand the President correctly, he was basically telling the white supremacists “I support you and your racist views, but I disavow hate – but only on both sides.”  That ought to put everyone’s fears to rest.

 

LA and Honolulu Have Worst Traffic in US:  According to a recent study, Honolulu was ranked as having the second-worst traffic in the nation, only behind Los Angeles.  OK, but the question is, where would you really rather be stuck in traffic?

 

 

Gov’t Warns Against Using Hair Conditioner Following Nuclear Blast:  The Homeland Security website Ready.gov is posting a warning to citizens that – following a nuclear blast – you should wash your hair with shampoo but do not use conditioner, because conditioner can bind radioactive material to your hair.  And while its awfully nice of the Trump Administration to offer free doomsday grooming advice – I suspect that if you’re near where a nuclear bomb went off – you can pretty much expect to have a “bad hair day,” whether you use conditioner or not.  And while I’m neither hair stylist nor nuclear scientist, judging from his recent photographs, it certainly appears that Mr Trump may have used conditioner.

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The post Trump Calls Out Alt-Left for Charlottesville Violence appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Trump Admits Wall Will Cover Less Than Half of Border

Trump Admits Wall Will Cover Less Than Half of Border:  Donald Trump conceded his much-touted southern wall along the US-Mexican border may end up covering less than half of the 2,000-mile frontier.  Hell, if they scale down this frigg’n wall any further, even Gary Busey might be able to pay for it.  My only question is, if only half the wall will is gonna be built, will it be the part on the Mexico side or the US side?

 

Escaped Camel Terrorizes Motorists North of LA:  Local authorities report that a camel escaped from a property 50 miles north of Los Angeles and reportedly terrorized frightened drivers who were trapped in their vehicles before police were finally able to capture the animal.  I guess its gonna come as no surprise to anyone that the camel decided to escape on “hump day.”  Wildlife officials say the camel appeared to be in good health, but he did appear to be retaining water.

 

Texas Man Arrives for Jury Duty Drunk With Beer:  A 23-year-old Texas man has been arrested after he reported for jury duty intoxicated and with a beer poured into a Coca-Cola cup.  I guess no one bothered to explain to the poor redneck its supposed to be a jury of one’s peers, not a jury of one’s beers.

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The post Trump Admits Wall Will Cover Less Than Half of Border appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Dennis Rodman Heading Back To North Korea

Dennis Rodman Heading Back To North Korea:  Former NBA star Dennis Rodman is reportedly heading back to North Korea for another visit with dictator Kim Jong-un.  That doesn’t make any sense.  Why bother traveling all the way to North Korea when we have our own fat, tyrannical, dictator wannabe right here in the USA?

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/Parrots-300x300.jpg 300w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/Parrots-768x768.jpg 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/Parrots.jpg 900w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" />Parrots Blamed for LA Area Power Outage:  A recent Southern California Edison power outage in the Hermosa Beach area of Los Angeles is being blamed on wild parrots on power poles.  Wow, who could have known that “Pauly wants a power pole!”  Edison officials say they were finally able to crack the case after they captured one of the parrots who, under heavy questioning, started singing like a canary.

 

Cops Suffering from Excessive Sleepiness:  A new study found that nearly a third of police officers may suffer from excessive sleepiness, which can have serious implications for broader job performance and safety.  What the hell, did Dunkin’ Donuts run out of coffee or something?

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The post Dennis Rodman Heading Back To North Korea appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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Republican Senator Rails Against People With Pre-Existing Conditions

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/Sen-Johnson-300x3... 300w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/Sen-Johnson.jpg 400w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" />Republican Senator Rails Against People With Pre-Existing Conditions:  During an interview with Meet the Press, Sen. Ron Johnson (R-WI) complained about how Obamacare rules forbid insurance companies from charging more for people with pre-existing conditions, pointing out that people with pre-existing conditions should be considered like “somebody who crashes their car” for insurance purposes.  Good grief, sounds like Senator Johnson does most of his thinking with his Johnson.  I wonder if that’s considered a pre-existing condition?

 

Mets Promote Tim Tebow to Advanced:  Even though his stats still are underwhelming, the Mets have promoted former Heisman Trophy winner and former NFL star Tim Tebow up to the Advanced A St Lucie Mets.  All I know is, after that last series with the Dodgers, the Mets could probably use someone with Tebow’s close ties to Jesus on their side.

 

English Woman Claims Her Cat is 28-Years-Old:  A woman in England is claiming that her female cat is about to celebrate her 28th birthday, which would make it the oldest cat in the world.  Wonder how that translates into Keith Richards years?

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The post Republican Senator Rails Against People With Pre-Existing Conditions appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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