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Gwyneth Paltrow Opens Stylish Goop Store in Brentwood

Gwyneth Paltrow Opens Stylish Goop Store in Brentwood:  Gwyneth Paltrow’s stylish, long-awaited Goop standalone store has opened its doors at the super-trendy Brentwood Country Mart in Los Angeles.  Gee, and to think all this time I just assumed “Goop” was the stuff doctors were finding between Gwyneth Paltrow’s ears.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Bowl-of-Nuts-300x... 300w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Bowl-of-Nuts-768x... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Bowl-of-Nuts.jpg 1000w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" />New Study Claims Eating Nuts is Very Beneficial to Health:  A new report published found that adults who incorporate nuts into their diets don’t need to limit consumption and that eating nuts helped reduce waist size by more than half an inch.  That said, researchers had to admit that while eating nuts may make you healthy, sitting next to one on a plane is no fun at all.

 

Mathematics Predicts Another Mass Extinction by 2100:  A professor of geophysics at MIT has completed a mathematical model which predicts the Earth will undergo another mass extinction by the year 2100.  I don’t know about that, but I’ve just completed my own mathematical computations and determined my finances have already completely disappeared from the face of the Earth.

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The post Gwyneth Paltrow Opens Stylish Goop Store in Brentwood appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Madonna Reveals to Fans She’s Moved to Portugal

Madonna Reveals to Fans She’s Moved to Portugal:  Madonna has informed her fans on social media that she’s relocated to Portugal for the foreseeable future, with the 59-year-old star adding that she moved there after falling in love with the “energy.”  Well, I suppose if she ever gets bored in Portugal, she can always buy herself a few more orphans – assuming Angelina Jolie hasn’t already snatched them all up.

 

Evangelical Leaders Blaming Gays for Hurricane Harvey:  LGBTQ Americans have caused the country billions of dollars in structural damage, killed dozens of people, and displaced thousands more from their homes, according to evangelical figures who are claiming gay people caused Hurricane Harvey.  Really?  While I’m no meteorologist, I get a sense that even with Hurricane Harvey’s 140 MPH wind gusts, the storm would still have a hard time competing with these windbags.

 

Rare September Rainstorm Hits Los Angeles Area:  Heaven help us! It’s actually raining here in Calabasas (West San Fernando Valley in LA) in September. What kind of crazy, mixed up world are we living in anyway? Those people in Houston think they’ve got it bad, why people here in LA are getting their hair all wet and ruining hairdos everywhere I look. Oh, the humanity!

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The post Madonna Reveals to Fans She’s Moved to Portugal appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Trump Calls Out Alt-Left for Charlottesville Violence

Trump Calls Out Alt-Left for Charlottesville Violence:  In perhaps his most bizarre press conference yet, President Donald Trump once again refused to forcefully denounce white supremacist protesters, instead basically laying blame for the Charlottesville violence on what he described as the “alt-left,” and then took some time to also promote his Virginia winery.  Wow, that was quick.  Donald must’ve taken a nice lunch meeting with Steve Bannon.  So if I understand the President correctly, he was basically telling the white supremacists “I support you and your racist views, but I disavow hate – but only on both sides.”  That ought to put everyone’s fears to rest.

 

LA and Honolulu Have Worst Traffic in US:  According to a recent study, Honolulu was ranked as having the second-worst traffic in the nation, only behind Los Angeles.  OK, but the question is, where would you really rather be stuck in traffic?

 

 

Gov’t Warns Against Using Hair Conditioner Following Nuclear Blast:  The Homeland Security website Ready.gov is posting a warning to citizens that – following a nuclear blast – you should wash your hair with shampoo but do not use conditioner, because conditioner can bind radioactive material to your hair.  And while its awfully nice of the Trump Administration to offer free doomsday grooming advice – I suspect that if you’re near where a nuclear bomb went off – you can pretty much expect to have a “bad hair day,” whether you use conditioner or not.  And while I’m neither hair stylist nor nuclear scientist, judging from his recent photographs, it certainly appears that Mr Trump may have used conditioner.

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The post Trump Calls Out Alt-Left for Charlottesville Violence appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Trump Admits Wall Will Cover Less Than Half of Border

Trump Admits Wall Will Cover Less Than Half of Border:  Donald Trump conceded his much-touted southern wall along the US-Mexican border may end up covering less than half of the 2,000-mile frontier.  Hell, if they scale down this frigg’n wall any further, even Gary Busey might be able to pay for it.  My only question is, if only half the wall will is gonna be built, will it be the part on the Mexico side or the US side?

 

Escaped Camel Terrorizes Motorists North of LA:  Local authorities report that a camel escaped from a property 50 miles north of Los Angeles and reportedly terrorized frightened drivers who were trapped in their vehicles before police were finally able to capture the animal.  I guess its gonna come as no surprise to anyone that the camel decided to escape on “hump day.”  Wildlife officials say the camel appeared to be in good health, but he did appear to be retaining water.

 

Texas Man Arrives for Jury Duty Drunk With Beer:  A 23-year-old Texas man has been arrested after he reported for jury duty intoxicated and with a beer poured into a Coca-Cola cup.  I guess no one bothered to explain to the poor redneck its supposed to be a jury of one’s peers, not a jury of one’s beers.

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The post Trump Admits Wall Will Cover Less Than Half of Border appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Dennis Rodman Heading Back To North Korea

Dennis Rodman Heading Back To North Korea:  Former NBA star Dennis Rodman is reportedly heading back to North Korea for another visit with dictator Kim Jong-un.  That doesn’t make any sense.  Why bother traveling all the way to North Korea when we have our own fat, tyrannical, dictator wannabe right here in the USA?

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/Parrots-300x300.jpg 300w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/Parrots-768x768.jpg 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/Parrots.jpg 900w" sizes="(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px" />Parrots Blamed for LA Area Power Outage:  A recent Southern California Edison power outage in the Hermosa Beach area of Los Angeles is being blamed on wild parrots on power poles.  Wow, who could have known that “Pauly wants a power pole!”  Edison officials say they were finally able to crack the case after they captured one of the parrots who, under heavy questioning, started singing like a canary.

 

Cops Suffering from Excessive Sleepiness:  A new study found that nearly a third of police officers may suffer from excessive sleepiness, which can have serious implications for broader job performance and safety.  What the hell, did Dunkin’ Donuts run out of coffee or something?

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The post Dennis Rodman Heading Back To North Korea appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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Stem Cell Brain Implants Could Slow Aging Process in Humans

Stem Cell Brain Implants Could Slow Aging Process in Humans:  Scientists announced they have slowed down the aging process in animals by implanting stem cells into the hypothalamus region of their brains, raising hopes that implants into the “almond-sized” hypothalamus of humans could help combat age-related diseases and therefore extend the human lifespan.  In related news, Trader Joe’s has almonds on sale all this week for just $4.99 a pound, but researchers caution that while this may be a great bargain, there’s no hard evidence that purchasing discounted almonds at Trader Joe’s will do anything to increase the human lifespan.

 

Half Our Bodies’ Atoms Formed Beyond Milky Way:  Astronomers say nearly half of the atoms that make up our bodies may have formed beyond the Milky Way and traveled to our solar system on intergalactic winds driven by giant exploding stars.  Yea, and a good portion of the other half of our bodies formed because we ate too many Milky Ways.

 

Man Accused of Smuggling King Cobras in Potato Chip Canisters:  A Los Angeles man has been arrested after federal prosecutors say he arranged to smuggle three highly venomous king cobra snakes into the United States hidden in potato chip canisters.  What I wanna know is, who’s job was it to stuff the snakes into the potato chip canisters?  Talk about coming through when the chips are down.  I suppose it goes without saying that he told the snakes “I bet you can’t eat just one.”

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The post Stem Cell Brain Implants Could Slow Aging Process in Humans appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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