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Anthony Scaramucci’s Wife Files for Divorce

Anthony Scaramucci’s Wife Files for Divorce:  Anthony Scaramucci’s wife of three years is reportedly fed up with his ruthless quest to get close to President Trump – whom she reportedly despises – and has filed for divorce from the new White House communications director.  Rumor has it her attorneys are asking that the country be included in the divorce settlement.  Anyway, it might be a good idea for someone to let Ann Coulter know the Mooch is available.  Of course, if everything else fails, his boss can always set him up with a couple of hot Russian hookers.

 

New Drug Approved for Curved Penis Condition:  Men with a condition that causes a curvature of the penis now have a drug treatment option that has been approved by the Food and Drug Administration.  I once knew a guy who had this condition – and, not to anyone’s surprise, the car he drove was a Bentley.

 

Trump Once Summoned Priebus and Ordered Him to Kill a Fly:  The Washington Post is reporting that President Trump once summoned Chief of Staff Reince Priebus to his office and ordered him to kill a fly that was buzzing around the room.  Those present say the situation turned into conflict when Reince immediately started swatting Kellyanne with a flyswatter.

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The post Anthony Scaramucci’s Wife Files for Divorce appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California
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Trump Bodyguard Frequently Sent on McDonald’s Runs

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Donald-Eating-Fri... 612w" sizes="(max-width: 287px) 100vw, 287px" />Trump Bodyguard Frequently Sent on McDonald’s Runs:  Because the White House kitchen staff often couldn’t match the satisfaction of a quarter-pounder with cheese (no pickles, extra ketchup) and a fried apple pie, Trump bodyguard Keith Schiller was frequently dispatched to head down to the New York Avenue McDonald’s on a stealth fast food run.  So, he has the best chefs in the navy at his disposal – ready to prepare anything he wants 24/7 – and he still prefers McDonald’s?  This poses the question, which comes first – the heart attack or the impeachment?  Luckily for Trump, he’s still gonna have great health insurance – even after the Republicans take it away from the rest of us.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Chinese-Pottery-7... 768w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Chinese-Pottery-1... 1024w, http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Chinese-Pottery.jpg 1183w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Oldest Known Pottery Found in China:  Archaeologists say pottery fragments found in a south China cave have been confirmed to be 20,000 years old, making them the oldest known pottery in the world.  Scientists caution that while the pottery is historically significant, it shouldn’t be considered microwave safe.

 

http://www.johnnyrobish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Tampon-Bombers.jpg 400w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Couple Tries to Blow Up Vehicle with Tampons:  A Pennsylvania couple has been charged with attempted arson, public drunkenness, and criminal mischief for attempting to blow up a Ford Fusion by stuffing tampons in the gas tank and motor oil compartment and igniting them.  Police warn that had the couple been successful, the situation could have quickly turned into a blood-bath.

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The post Trump Bodyguard Frequently Sent on McDonald’s Runs appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

Putin Orders 755 Personnel Cut From U.S. Missions

Putin Orders 755 Personnel Cut From U.S. Missions:  In response to new U.S. sanctions, Russian President Vladimir Putin ordered that the U.S. diplomatic missions in Moscow and elsewhere in the country will have to cut 755 staff members.  Putin said under his new directive, senior diplomatic staff will be cut with sharp, pointy objects, while lower functionaries will only receive paper cuts.

 

Outback Steakhouse Accused of Being Satanic:  Outback Steakhouse is facing a PR nightmare after a fundamentalist Christian went on Twitter and posted a graphic with lines drawn connecting Outback Steakhouse locations in several cities that see appeared to some to form a pentagram, causing many Christians to conclude that the restaurant chain is satanist.  The situation only worsened at a press conference Outback called to deny the allegations when someone called out “you’re devil worshipers” and the Outback spokesperson yelled back “like hell we are!”

 

Regular Alcohol Drinkers Have Lower Risk of Diabetes:  According to a new study that looked at more than 70,000 Danish people, those who drink small to moderate amounts of alcohol on a frequent basis are less likely to develop diabetes than people who don’t drink at all.  Now, of course I’m no medical professional, but just on the surface – I’d have to say drinking sounds like it would be a hell of a lot more fun than diabetes.

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The post Putin Orders 755 Personnel Cut From U.S. Missions appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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Gunman Kidnaps Family and Forces Them to Shop at Target

Gunman Kidnaps Family and Forces Them to Shop at Target:  A North Carolina man has been arrested for kidnapping a family and then forcing them to go shopping with him at Target.  Good grief, I realize these big box stores are getting desperate for customers, but kidnapping a family by gunpoint and forcing them to shop at Target has to be about the worst marketing strategy ever.

 

Tick-Borne Diseases on the Rise in the US:  According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), ticks and dangerous tick-borne illnesses are on the rise all over the US.  The CDC warns the situation has become so widespread that in some areas, even the tick-tock of grandfather clocks has become affected.

 

New Evidence of Cat Domestication Found in China:  Archaeologists in China have unearthed the first clear evidence of cats living among humans as semi-domesticated mousers about 5300 years ago.  Scientists say they hope to one day use this data to reconstruct what life must have been like for cats before they came to prominence on YouTube and Facebook.

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The post Gunman Kidnaps Family and Forces Them to Shop at Target appeared first on Rubbish In, Robish Out!.

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Johnny Robish

Johnny Robish

Guns Don't Kill, Postal Workers Do!
Malibu, California

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